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  • >> THAT IS THE WORST FIRST DATE EVER.

  • >> James: WORST FIRST DATE EVER.

  • >> IT FEELS LIKE WE'RE ON A DATE RIGHT NOW.

  • >> James: LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT WE HAVE HERE AND STARTING

  • WITH SOMETHING WHICH IS ALREADY MAKING ME SO SICK IN MY MOUTH IS

  • THE FISH EYE.

  • WE HAVE BIRD SAL IVA-- KALIVA.

  • HOT SAUCE.

  • COD SPERM, WHICH I'M SLIGHTLY CONFUSED AS TO HOW THEY GET IT.

  • WE THEN HAVE GRASSHOPPERS.

  • A SARDINE SMOOTHIE A BULLPENIS.

  • AND THAT OLD CLASSIC, CLAM JUICE.

  • OKAY.

  • SO HERE'S HOW THE GAME WORKS.

  • I'M GOING TO ASK YOU A QUESTION.

  • YOU CAN EITHER ANSWER THAT QUESTION OR IF YOU DON'T WANT TO

  • ANSWER THAT QUESTION, YOU HAVE TO EAT WHATEVER I GIVE YOU.

  • >> OKAY.

  • >> James: AND WE WILL DO THAT VICE REMEMBERSA VERSA.

  • SO I WILL GIVE YOU, I WILL GIVE YOU THE SARDINE SMOOTHIE, OKAY.

  • NEITHER KENDALL OR MYSELF HAVE SEEN THESE QUESTIONS, ARE YOU

  • READY?

  • >> UH-HUH.

  • NO, NO.

  • >> James: KENDALL, THREE OF YOUR NEICES AND NEPHEWS ARE

  • NAMED DREAM, NORTH AND SAINT.

  • RANK THOSE BABY NAMES FROM BEST TO WORST.

  • >> I AM REALLY CONSIDERING IT.

  • LIKE ANSWERING.

  • >> James: YEAH.

  • WHAT IS THE BEST NAME.

  • >> CUZ THIS IS LIKE A SMOOTHIE, THIS MAKES IT EVEN GROSSER THAN

  • JUST THE FACT THAT IT'S SARDINES, I LIKE NORTH, I'VE

  • ALWAYS LIKED NORTH.

  • >> James: SO NORTH IS BEST.

  • >> YEAH.

  • >> James: LET'S FIND OUT WHICH ONE YOU HATE.

  • (LAUGHTER) >> OH MY GOD.

  • NORTH-- THEN-- DREAM.

  • >> James.

  • >> NORTH, SAINT, DREAM.

  • >> James: ALL RIGHT.

  • >> I STILL LOVE THEM.

  • >> James: OF COURSE.

  • NOW WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO GIVE ME TO EAT.

  • >> CUZ YOU HAD SO MUCH TO SAY ABOUT IT, I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU

  • THE COD SPERM.

  • >> James: OH NO.

  • >> HA HA.

  • (LAUGHTER).

  • >> James: OH MY GOD.

  • OKAY.

  • >> OKAY.

  • JAMES, YOUR PARENTS ARE LOVELY PEOPLE WHO OFTEN DO COMEDY BITS

  • FOR YOUR SHOW.

  • IN FACT, THEY'RE BOTH HERE TONIGHT.

  • >> James: YES.

  • >> MY QUESTION IS WHO DO YOU PREFER, YOUR MOM OR YOUR DAD?

  • (LAUGHTER).

  • >> James: THAT'S A GREAT QUESTION.

  • WHAT DO DID YOU SAY, MOM?

  • ARE YOU SAYING YOU DON'T WANT YOUR SON TO EAT COD SPERM?

  • >> WELL, LET ME THINK, LET ME THINK.

  • >> James: MY DAD IS GREAT FOR ADVICE, AND HE'S GREAT FOR

  • ADVICE AND CHECKING IN, AND IS AN INCREDIBLE FRIEND.

  • MY MOM GIVES GREAT CUDDLES.

  • >> AS MOMS DO.

  • >> James: I COULD NEVER, AND WILL NEVER CHOOSE THEM.

  • >> GOOD FOR YOU.

  • >> OH MY GOD, I'M GOING TO THROW UP FOR YOU.

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).

  • >> James: OH MY GOD.

  • THAT WAS JUST HORRIFIC.

  • OH, RIGHT.

  • YOU ASKED FOR IT.

  • I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU, YEAH, I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE BIRD

  • SALIVA.

  • >> HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN.

  • >> James: I DON'T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENS.

  • BUT IT IS A FULL CUP OF A BIRD SALIVA.

  • OKAY.

  • KENDALL, WHO IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MEMBER OF TAYLOR

  • SWIFT'S SQUAD?

  • THERE'S SELENA GOMEZ, HAILEY SIGN FELD, CARLA DELAVIGNE,

  • CARLY CLAUSE, GIGI OR TAYLOR SWIFT.

  • >> WHAT DID IT TASTE LIKE.

  • >> I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU.

  • >> James: ALL RIGHT G FOR T LAY ONE ON ME.

  • >> ALL RIGHT, OKAY.

  • >> James: YOU HAVE A LITTLE BULLPENIS OVER HERE, CLAM JUICE,

  • GRASSHOPPERS.

  • >> I AM GOING TO DO BELL PENIS.

  • >> James: A BULL'S PENIS, OKAY.

  • JEEZ, OKAY.

  • >> JAMES.

  • >> James: YES.

  • >> WHO IS ONE GUEST YOU REFUSE TO HAVE BACK ON YOUR SHOW AND

  • WHY?

  • >> James: WHO WROTE THESE?

  • >> I'M SO SORRY.

  • >> James: I CAN'T EVEN EAT IT-- I CAN'T EVEN CHEW IT I

  • CAN'T BELIEVE I CAME TO WORK TODAY AND I HAVE HAD COD SPERM

  • AND A BULL'S PENIS.

  • (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) >> I'M PROUD OF YOU.

  • I'M PROUD OF YOU.

  • >> James: I MEAN IT REALLY IS CHEWY.

  • >> I'M IMPRESSED.

  • >> James: ALL RIGHT, I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU.

  • >> SHUT UP.

  • >> James: I WILL GIVE YOU, YEAH, I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE

  • CLAM JUICE.

  • >> OKAY.

  • >> James: YEAH, CLAM JUICE, CLAM JUICE WE'RE GOING TO GO FOR

  • ON THIS ONE.

  • KENDALL, YOUR SISTER KIELY WAS-- KYLIE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE

  • ON OUR SHOW TONIGHT BUT SHE CANCELLED YESTERDAY MORNING

  • BECAUSE SHE WAS SICK, YEAH, SHE WAS SICK.

  • HERE'S A PAPARAZZI PHOTO OF HER THAT-- SO MY QUESTION IS, HOW IS

  • SHE FEELING?

  • >> THIS IS SO GOOD.

  • >> James: YOU WHAT?

  • >> DRINK THE CLAM JUICE.

  • >> WHAT IS-- .

  • >> James: IT'S THE JUICE OF A CLAM, DON'T SMELL IT IT.

  • >> I DID IT.

  • >> James: THERE ST. WELL DONE.

  • >> THAT IS DISGUSTING.

  • >> James: ALL RIGHT, GO FOR T SEND ONE AROUND TO ME.

  • HERE WE GO, WHAT YOU GOT?

  • >> GRASSHOPPERS.

  • OKAY.

  • >> James: OKAY.

  • >> JAMES.

  • >> James: YES.

  • >> YOU HAVE ONE OF THE BEST BANDS IN LATE NIGHT, EACH OF

  • THEM SO TALENTED.

  • >> James: LET'S DO IT.

  • >> YOU HAVE TO FIRE ONE OF THEM.

  • WHICH ONE DO YOU CHOOSE?

  • >> James: I'VE GOT TO FIRE ONE MEMBER OF THE BAND.

  • SO EITHER TIM, STEVE OR GU ILLERMO.

  • I MEAN WHY WOULD YOU EVER FIRE ANY OF THEM.

  • BUT I'M SAYING I'VE GOT TO FIRE SOMEONE.

  • I CAN'T FIRE HEGA BECAUSE THERE IS A HUGE AMOUNT OF OUR AUDIENCE

  • TUNE IN EVERY NIGHT JUST TO SEE HEGA.

  • (APPLAUSE) WHY DO YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF?

  • SPILL YOUR GUTS OR FILL YOUR GUTS, KENDALL JENNER, EVERYBODY.

  • WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH KENDALL AND MICHAEL STRAHAN.

  • (APPLAUSE). ♪

>> THAT IS THE WORST FIRST DATE EVER.

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