I don't care if this is your girlfriend, or your wife, or just one of your friends,

there are just certain things that you cannot say to a girl.

So here we go!

Learn from our mistakes.

"So when's the due date?"

I mean, never, ever, say anything about a girl's weight.

Ever.

Even if you're saying something nice about it.

It'll most likely be taken like this:

Jordan: Wow! You've lost some weight!

Amy: Was I fat before?

"What are you wearing?"

Don't make disparaging comments about a girl's physical appearance.

Seriously, you could scar her for life.

"You're overreacting. You're probably just hormonal."

If anyone actually got away with saying this, they did not live long enough to tell the tale.

This is essentially shutting a girl's thoughts down by telling her that she's insane.

What if someone did that to you?

Josh: And that's how I feel about it.

Kelly: Wow, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Don't worry, it's not your fault, you're just testosteronal.

"Girl, you look fine! Like, seriously good.

Like, you are, it's-all-I'm-ever-going-to-talk-about hot."

It's fine to give a girl compliments on how she looks,

until you become that extremely creepy guy that everybody avoids.

BHK: You have the biggest eyes of any people.

Can I touch your hand? I just did...Oops!

Wow, you have beautiful hair! Oh my goodness...

Your eyes are like a deep blue ocean that I want to swim in...

You have a fuzzle on your shirt, hehehe...

You have the cutest button nose!

"Are you sure you should be eating that?"

Guys are almost required to go back for seconds to maintain their manliness.

But if a girl goes back for seconds?

Well, she must be...

"Oh, yeah, my ex used to say that too."

Much in the same way that guys don't like being compared to other guys,

Do NOT compare a girl to another girl.

Just stay on the safe side,

and do not even mention another girl in the same sentence as the girl you're talking with.

It's not worth the risk!

YOLO: If your eyes were more blue, they would look like my ex!

When my ex dyed her hair, it looked just like this!

The only thing hotter than you, is my ex-girlfriend!

Just like my ex!

"Well, y'know, if you weren't so..."

Fellas, this is a slippery slope.

You think that you're the only one who's been keeping a record of wrongs?

No.

I mean, you may very well be, but a 50% divorce rate says otherwise.

"Hey, is so-and-so single?"

This is roughly the equivalent of saying:

"Hey you! Oh, you...not so much..."

"But your friend over there, a real hottie!"

"And I, need hottie's number."

"I didn't really like you. It was probably just hormones."

This is the classic "guy strings girl along and then breaks it off and says it wasn't anything in the first place."

Not so fast, Buster!

Act like you're an adult!

Josh: Look, I know I said I loved you, but I wasn't really serious about it...

So let's just pretend it didn't happen, okay?

Kelly: Well, I guess that works out, I don't date 5-year-old anyway.

"Cramps? Oh yeah, I get those too sometimes. Just suck it up, you'll be fine."

The end.

Y'know, now that I think about it,

guys think that girls are so overly sensitive,

and that's why they shouldn't say any of these things.

But, if you really think about it,

most of these things just boil down to the golden rule.

I guess girls just wanna be treated with kindness and respect the way that we expect them to treat us!

Huh! Funny how that works!