A: What's up?

Am I out of shape?

No.

But am I like more out of shape

than I used to be?

No comment.

I knew it.

I said no comment!

Whatever,

I'm just gonna get exponentially bigger

until I'm too big to leave the house.

People will come visit me.

It'll be lovely.

I think you're overreacting.

We're just getting older.

Our bodies aren't gonna stay

the same anymore

unless we beat them into blind submission.

Do you want me to teach you how

to beat your body into blind submission?

It depends...

What kind of crazy plan are you composing?

Diet... and exercise.

NOO--

It's important to get your heart rate up

3 to 5 times a week

with cardio weights and exercises

I go hiking on Saturdays.

That's fun!

And useless.

Try to take the stairs as much as you can.

Allison, this is our floor-

I always go one extra flight to

push myself and my best self.

So you need to lower your legs without

letting your back come off the floor

I personally can't do it but

that's what the YouTube tutorial says

Ow, my hip hurts.

That's normal, mine hurts all the time.

Gaby groans

Okay? So that was about one and a half

Each one was a half.

Never drive if you can walk.

This health food store is 4 miles away

Okay, unless you need to drive.

It's all about moderation.

Gaby grunts

How much longer?

Allison!

I'm sorry I can't talk-walk

panting Okay panting

That was good!

Two more reps.

pants Okay

We're starting.

Gabby: Okay.

Allison: Not doing it. Gabby: I'm doing it.

Allison: No you're not. Gabby: Yeah I'm doing it.

Allison: I can see that you're not.

This is a great source of vitamins

and vegetables but it costs like 15

dollars and taste like the inside of

a puddle

Is any of this worth it?

Worth it how? I mean do I have a

cellulite free, fatless body? No,

But do I feel great and healthy because

dopamine is seeping into my body everytime

I work out?

Also no

So then why do any of it?

Why deny yourself the pleasure of

pizza three times a day?

A few years ago my ex-boyfriend told me

that I was moody cause I wasn't exercising

He said that if I took my physical state,

my mental health would vastly improve

I wanted to prove him wrong

chokes

cough I wish I was dead

Gabby: Is it weird that I like it?

Allison: I fucking hate you.

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