and use those Sickles mom gave you for my robe fittings.

Who's this?

Uh, this is stupid little dumb sister Ginny. She's a freshman.

Ginny, this is Harry.

Harry Potter. It's Harry Potter.

Oh! You're Harry Potter! You're the boy who lived!

Yeah. You're Ginny.

It's Ginevra.

Cool! Ginny's fine.

Stupid sister!

Don't crowd the famous friend.

Do you guys hear music or something?

Music? What are you talking about?

Yeah, someone's coming.

Someone's coming.

Cho Chang! Domo arigato! Cho Chang!

Gung hay fat choy-Chang.

Happy happy new year, Cho Chang!

Oh, who's that?

That's Cho Chang.

That's the girl Harry's totally been in love with since freshman year.

Yeah, but he won't say anything to her.

Well, yeah, you never tell a girl you like her.

It makes you look like an idiot!

Um, Konnichiwa, Cho Chang, it is good to meet you.

I am Ginny Weasley.

Bitch, I ain't Cho Chang!

That's Lavender Brown!

Racist sister!

It's all right. I'm Cho Chang, y'all.

She is totally perfect.

Yeah, too bad she's dating Cedric Diggory though, huh?

What? Who the hell is Cedric Diggory?!

Cho Chang!

I am so in love with

Cho Chang!

From Bangkok to Ding Dang,

I sing my love aloud for

Cho Chang!

I hate that guy! I hate him!

So are we gonna get those robes or not?

Okay, all right, I'm going!

God, sister!

Present your arm, nerd!

W-w-what are you – ?

Indian Burn Hex!!

Owwwww!!

Awww! Crabbe and Goyle.

Hey, why don't you leave Neville Longbottom alone, huh?

Well, well, well. If it isn't Harry Potter.

You think all because you're famous, you can boss everyone around!

No, I just don't think it's cool for guys of your size to be picking on guys like Neville.

C'mon!

Oh, well, you know what I think? I think glasses are for nerds!

Break!!

We hate nerds!

And girls!

Well, you asked for it. You don't mess with Harry Potter.

He beat the Dark Lord when he was a baby.

All right, everyone just calm down.

Oculus Reparo!

Whoa, cool!

Now, let's leave these big baby childish jerks alone.

Did someone say Draco Malfoy?

What do you want, Draco?

Crabbe, Goyle, be a pair of proper dolls and go pay for my robes, will you?

So, Potter, back for another year at Hogwarts are you?

Maybe this year you'll wise up and hang out with a higher caliber of wizard.

Listen, Malfoy. Ron and Hermione are my best friends in the whole world.

I wouldn't trade them for anything.

Have it your way.

Wait, don't tell me:

Red hair, hand-me-down clothes, and a stupid complexion.

You must be a Weasley!

Oh my God, lay off Malfoy. She may be a pain in the ass, okay?

But she's my pain in the ass.

Well, isn't this cute.

It's like a little loser family.

Hogwarts has really gone to the dogs.

Luckily, next year

I'll be transferred to Pigfarts!

This year you bet, gonna get out of here.

The reign of Malfoy is drawing near.

I'll have the greatest wizard-career –

it's gonna be totally awesome!

Look out world, for the dawn of the day

when everyone will do

whatever I say!!

And Potter won't be in my way,

and I'll be the one who is totally awesome!

Yeah, you'll be the one who is totally awesome!

[train whistle]

Hermione: Guys, come on, we're gonna miss the train!

Who knows how fast this year's gonna go?

Hand me a glass, let the butterbeer flow.

Harry: Maybe at last I'll talk to Cho!

Oh no, that'd be way too awesome!

We're back to learn everything that we can.

It's great to come back to where we began.

And here we are . . . and ALAKAZAM!

Here we go! This is totally awesome!

Come on and teach us everything you know!

The summer's over and we're itching to go!

I think we're ready for . . .

Albus Dumbledore!

[chorus: Ahhhh . . . ]

Welcooo –

oooooooo –

ooooooooooooo –

oooome

all of you to Hogwarts!

I welcome all of you to school!

Did you know that here at Hogwarts,

we've got a hidden swimming pool?

Welcome, welcome, welcome Hogwarts.

Welcome hotties, nerds, and tools.

Now that I've got you here at Hogwarts,

I'd like to go over just a couple of rules.

My name is Albus Dumbledore and I am headmaster of Hogwarts.

You can all call me Dumbledore.

I suppose you could also call me Albus if you wanted detention.

I'm just kidding.

I'll expel you if you call me Albus!

Back to witches and wizards and magical beasts,

to goblins and ghosts, and to magical feasts.

It's all that I love and it's all that I need at

Hogwarts! Hogwarts!

Back to spells and enchantments, potions and friends!

To Gryffindor!

Hufflepuff!

Ravenclaw!

Slytherin!

Back to the place where our story begins at

Hogwarts! Hogwarts!

Dumbledore: I'm sorry, what's its name?

Hogwarts! Hogwarts!

Dumbledore: I didn't hear you kids!

Hogwarts! Hogwarts!

Harry: Man, I'm glad I'm back.