G’day. I’m Michelle McQuaid, and welcome to Thank God It’s Friday! This week’s

letter comes to us from Sophie who writes, “Hi Michelle. I’m a

student counselor, and recently I’ve been moved away from my

team to a new campus we’ve set up. I’m really enjoying the work, but missing having

my colleagues around me. We just don’t feel like a team

anymore. I feel like my work is suffering. What can I do to

rebuild and protect these relationships?”

Sophie, that is a great question to ask. Because more than we do each day at work, it’s who

we do it with that has the biggest impact on our levels

of engagement and wellbeing. So let me give you three really

simple tips to help you protect and build your relationships.

Firstly, make sure you create some connection rituals with people that you value. Now this

might involve a regular morning coffee, a monthly lunch,

drinks after work on a Friday, whatever works for you and your

colleagues. It’s simply a regular date in the diary to make sure that you’re going

to prioritize catching up and having some time together. Research shows

that if you can spend around three hours with other

people each day in positive interactions, your chance of having a good day goes up by

10 percent.

Secondly, make sure you’re showing your appreciation for colleagues. Gratitude is

like a magic tonic when it comes to creating a positive cycle

within our relationships. So before you log off each day at work,

take the time to thank at least one person who might have helped you today, or just given

a laugh, or made your job a little bit more enjoyable.

Finally, at all costs, avoid social comparisons. Now, this can be pretty difficult when you’re

surrounded by brilliant people who seem to be getting promotions,

and pay rises, and benefits from your boss that you’re

not. But it’s a sure-fire path to ruining your relationships. So if you’re finding

yourself comparing yourself a lot with your colleagues, see if you can notice

what’s triggering off that sense of jealousy, and try to take

three positive steps to overcome that perceived shortcoming. It might be enrolling yourself

in a new class. It might be asking for a conversation with

your boss about what you can do to show the things that you’re

achieving at work. Whatever it is, do something positive about it rather than getting stuck

in that grip of rumination and negativity.

Now if I’m completely honest, as an introvert who has had that old soundtrack playing of

not being good enough, having great relationships at work

is often something that I’ve struggled with. I was often so busy

trying to prove my worth that I came off as pretty intimidating and scary to my colleagues

when actually all I really wanted to be was liked. For me, the

most powerful tools have been using my strengths of curiosity

and gratitude to turn down that negative self-talk and do something more positive that’s focused

on others. My strength of curiosity has helped

me get interested in what brings out the best in people and

ask questions that show that I respect them, and I value the things that make them tick.

My strength of gratitude means that each day before I leave

the office, I take the time to genuinely thank someone for

the difference that they’ve made in my day. Not only does it make them feel good, but

I leave the office smiling. Using these strengths dramatically

improved the quality of my relationships, so that my

colleagues were much more willing to collaborate together on projects, but I also felt more

supported and happy at the office. And long after the job

was left, the friendships have remained.

Knowing with doing is a waste of your time, and you’re too good for that. So take action

now, and step it up. Take this week’s challenge, and make

sure each day before you log off and leave the office, you take

the time to thank at least one person. Make sure it’s genuine. Be specific about what

you appreciate and why, and if you can, tell them about the difference

that it made in your day. Now you can do this in

person, by phone, over email, whatever works best for you. Just take the time to say thank

you. Then head on over to michellemcquaid.com, tell

us who you thanked and why, how did you feel doing it?

If you like this video, then subscribe and share it with your family and friends. And

if you want more great tips on how to get ahead at work, then head

on over to michellemcquaid.com where you’ll hear it all first.

In the meantime, stay strong. You are good enough, and you deserve success and happiness

when it comes to your job. Make sure you join me next

week when we’ll talk about the secret to ensuring stress

isn’t hijacking your success at the office. Thank you so much for watching. Take care.

# # # #

Want to know more about how you can use your strengths to get the respect, recognition,

and rewards you deserve at work? Then hurry, head on over

to michellemcquaid.com, and sign up for our new online

training. Become a workplace superstar so that you can create success on your own terms.

There’s a special introductory price, but only until

Christmas, so this year give yourself the best gift of all and

discover how and what it is you do best at work.

How To Have Great Relationships 1