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  • On this episode of China Uncensored:

  • If you stare into the void long enough,

  • the void

  • eventually gets a little creeped out.

  • Hi, welcome to China Uncensored, I’m your host, Chris Chappell.

  • Since the dawn of time, Man has sought to create.

  • To invent.

  • To drive humanity forward.

  • But I’ll bet when our ancestors created the wheel...

  • The guy in the next village saw it and created this for half the price.

  • Yes, bootlegging.

  • The world’s second-oldest profession.

  • Wait a minute

  • actually let's not think about that too much.

  • Anyway, you may say bootlegging is shameful and illegal,

  • but you got to admit,

  • it can sometimes be hilarious!

  • So behold!

  • All of civilization has led to these 10 Chinese toy knockoffs.

  • Number 10 New Style Ninja Tortoise

  • This isn't some lame old turtle!

  • You can tell by its chest.

  • Besides, turtles live in the water.

  • A tortoise lives on land.

  • So this knockoff actually makes more sense than the original.

  • Seriously, Donatello; why would you need a submarine?

  • Number 9 Mighty Car

  • An ordinary person might see Mr. T and the van from the A-Team

  • But the clever mind of the bootlegger sees so much more.

  • He sees Mr. T

  • as the van!

  • With a machine gun and axe!

  • No one’s gonna give this guy any jibber jabber!

  • Number 8 Pokyman

  • No, not Pokemon. Pokyman.

  • Get out of here Pikachu.

  • I choose you,

  • Rastafarian Pikachu!

  • Number 7 Batman

  • If this is not a pipe,

  • then this is not Superman.

  • And besides, everyone knows Superman/BATMAN doesn't use guns.

  • Number 6 Fun Neddy Lovely

  • My Little Pony may believe that Friendship Is Magic,

  • but you do not want to know what DEMON DONKEY believes in.

  • And his requests to TYE ME!!! best go unheeded.

  • Number 5 Harry Potter Obama Sonic

  • I'm sorry, did that not make sense?

  • How about now.

  • Yeah, still doesn't make sense does it?

  • Number 4 Mouse and Friends

  • (crying) Whyyyyyy?!

  • Number 3 Robert Cop

  • The future of law enforcement is here!

  • No one fights crime like...

  • Robert Cop!

  • But before you dismiss Robert as a worthless, half-melted knockoff of RoboCop,

  • let's consider what he has going for him.

  • Besides stealing the Terminator's tagline.

  • He's a:

  • -Futuristic Robert

  • -Terminator (autobotic)

  • -exciting movie look

  • and he's also a toy.

  • Number 2 The Titanic

  • Don't let this Titanic toy fool you.

  • It's more than meets the eye.

  • This Titanic would probably have been able to avoid the iceberg.

  • Though I bet all the people would have still died horrible deaths during the transformation.

  • And Number 1 Sense of Right Alliance

  • Who needs the Justice League,

  • when you have the much more communist-sounding Sense of Right Alliance!

  • It's got all your favorite heroes:

  • A Power Ranger.

  • Batman!

  • Other Batman!

  • Spiderman.

  • Shrek!

  • You know, you really shouldn’t mix universes this way.

  • Well those are my top 10 favorite Chinese toy knockoffs.

  • But there were so, so many more to choose from!

  • What’s your favorite Chinese toy knockoff?

  • Leave your comment and a link below,

  • or send me an email with a photo you took to ChinaUncensored@gmail.com.

  • If there’s enough interest, I’ll do a fan favorites version of Chinese toy knockoffs.

  • Once again I'm Chris Chappell, see you next time.

On this episode of China Uncensored:

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