i want to bring to your attention a new

我想提請你注意一個新的

mindset so before i read this book I

心態，所以在我讀這本書之前，我

never really had this super-awesome

從未見過這麼厲害的

outlook on life and in fact it changed

人生觀，事實上它改變了

my thinking forever so when you're in

我的思想永遠，所以當你'在。

any situation in life you can choose to

生活中的任何情況你都可以選擇

be reactive more proactive but the basic

被動更主動，但基本

idea is that by choosing to be proactive

的想法是，通過選擇積極主動

you choose to increase your circle of

你選擇增加你的朋友圈

influence you see there are things that

影響你看有的東西

you can control in there are things you

你可以控制在那裡的東西，你

can't directly control such as the

不能直接控制，如

weather where you were born or your

生源地

personal decisions of your boss things

老闆的私事

that you can control include how you

您可以控制的因素包括您如何

react to it this is really the only

的反應，這真的是唯一

thing you can control in life if you

人生得意須盡歡

react without thinking or you say a

囫圇吞棗

harsh word to your friend or you drink

惡語傷人，不如痛飲

all night and live in self-indulgent

通宵達旦，自得其樂

after a long day where you just become

經過漫長的一天，你只是變得

depressed when the weather is gloomy you

悶悶不樂

are becoming a reactive person you let

正在成為一個被動的人，你讓

the environment control you and you're

的環境控制你和你'。

simply a person reacting to stimuli when

只是一個人對刺激的反應，當

you were reactive you focus on things

你是被動的你關注的東西

you cannot control for example you may

你無法控制，例如你可以

have been born into a socio-economic

出生在一個社會經濟的環境中。

lower or middle class family you may

中下層家庭

have been born into an abusive family

生在虐待家庭

you may even been diagnosed with a

你甚至可能被診斷為

terrible illness but focusing on it will

可怕的疾病，但專注於它將

not change it you know what you can

不改你知道你能做什麼

control this is the secret to being

御之有道

proactive and in turn becoming an

積極主動，進而成為

effective person you can control your

賢能的人，你可以控制你的

work ethic you can control how you treat

職業道德，你可以控制你如何對待

the people in your life and you can

你生命中的人，你可以

control if you put on your seatbelt or

控制你是否繫上安全帶或

not by focusing on things that you can

而不是通過關注那些你能

control you bring more power into your

控制你帶來更多的力量

life and widen your circle of influence

擴大你的影響範圍

so when short reactive people are people

所以，當短反應的人是人

who complain a lot instead of actually

怨天尤人

going out and changing their actions and

出去，改變他們的行動和

proactive people understand that even if

積極主動的人都明白，即使

they're complaining was justified

他們'抱怨是合理的

complaining about it wouldn't change

怨天尤人也無濟於事

anything it would just be negative

什麼都是負面的

toxins in their life including their

他們生活中的毒素，包括他們的

social environment of their peers see

同行的社會環境

most people choose to complain simply

大多數人只是選擇抱怨

because it's easier so let's move on to

因為它更容易，所以讓我們繼續到

the second habit how do you want people

第二個習慣你想讓別人怎麼做

to think of you at your funeral

在你的葬禮上想起你

the second habit is all about becoming

第二個習慣就是要成為

the person you want to be by thinking

你想成為的人，通過思考

deeply about how other people think of

深刻了解別人的想法

you now I'm mature enough person and not

你現在我足夠成熟的人，不

really care what most people think of me

介意別人怎麼看我

but I do care what my loved ones think

但我在乎我的親人怎麼想

of me I want my girlfriend to think i'm

我希望我的女朋友認為我是

loyal trustworthy and fun to be around

忠信悌悌

and because of this i'm not going to

正因為如此，我不打算

cheat on her

偷情

I'm not going to lie to her and I'm not

我不會對她撒謊，我也不會...

going to fill our conversations with

將充滿我們的談話

complaints or negative thoughts

怨念

see when you die and there's a crowd of

當你死的時候，你會看到，有一群人

people standing around your coffin

圍觀民眾

what will they say over their best

他們會怎麼說自己最好的

memories of you or their worst memories

對你的記憶或他們最壞的記憶

of you be thinking about the end before

亡羊補牢

any major decision and this will help

任何重大決定，這將有助於

you become a more effective person you

你會成為一個更有效的人

want to be remembered as a person who

想作為一個人被人們記住

added value to society

社會附加值

maybe start filling your facebook

也許開始填寫你的Facebook

statuses with more positivity and upbeat

態，更積極、更樂觀

content basically are you doing the

內容基本上是你在做

things that allow you to say you've

的東西，讓你說你'已經

become the person that you want to be

成為你想成為的人

the second half but also goes into

下半場但也進入

creation a bit see according to stephen

創作略見一斑

covey the author everything is created

夫唯我獨尊

twice once in the mind and once in the

兩次一心一意

physical real world

實物世界

the problem is that many things are

問題是，很多事情都是

created in the mind but never manifested

心有餘而力不足

into tangible things because we tell

變成有形的東西，因為我們告訴

ourselves

我們

I can't do it a lot of time the only

我不能做很多時間的唯一的

thing stopping you from doing something

攔路虎

is yourself and even worse situation is

是你自己，更糟糕的情況是

when things aren't even created in the

當事情甚至沒有創建的時候。

mind at all for some people debt drugs

介意一些人的債務藥物

despair or other life problems prevent a

絕望或其他生活問題阻礙了

person from thinking about creation and

人從思考創造和

only on the negative outcomes of their

僅僅是他們的負面結果

situation and this is where the first

狀況，這就是第一個

have it comes back stop focusing on what

有來無回

you can control and you'll be able to

你可以控制，你'將能夠。

create more you'll be able to add more

創建更多的你'將能夠添加更多的。

value to the world the last thing Steven

對世界的價值是史蒂文

Covey mentions in this chapter something

科維在這一章中提到了一些

called a personal mission statement now

個人使命宣言

this is the one line sit-ins that you

這是單線靜坐，你。

can rely on to give you a sense of

可以依靠，給你一個感覺

purpose in the world a very simple

天生我材必有用

mission statement is I want the world to

使命宣言是我希望世界

be better because i was here in fact

是更好的，因為我在這裡其實

that's Will Smith's personal mission

那是威爾-史密斯的個人使命

statement

聲明

Oprah wants to be a teacher and be known

奧普拉想當老師，被人熟知。

for inspiring my students to be more

為激勵我的學生們更

than they thought they ever could be

比他們想象的要好得多

if you keep this mission statement in

如果你把這一使命宣言銘記在心

mind when you make every decision you

牢記

will always keep the end in mind now

死而後已

that we've talked about the end let's

我們已經談到了結束讓我們的

talk about the beginning so Stephen

聊以自慰

Covey came up with this thing called the

科維提出的這個東西叫

urgent and important matrix basically

急要表

everything you can do falls into one of

凡是你能做的事情，都可以歸入

four categories

四類

here's the super easy graphic they can

這裡'的超級簡單的圖形，他們可以。

make it easier to understand basically

淺顯易懂

anything urgent is something that needs

急事急辦

to be done as soon as possible and

儘快完成，並

anything important is something that

事關重大

makes us effective the advice the author

使我們有效的建議

gives is to do things that are not

給的是做不

urgent but they have to be important as

但它們必須是重要的，因為

soon as possible because if you do

儘快，因為如果你這樣做

things that aren't urgent before they

的事情，不急於他們的前

are urgent then you won't have to fret

是緊急的，那麼你就不用擔心了。

about doing them last minute here's the

關於做他們最後一分鐘這裡'的

thing that kind of annoys me if I ask

煩心事

most people what they thought was

大多數人的想法是

important they would say things like

他們會說

their health their relationships their

他們的健康，他們的關係，他們的

financial credibility

財信

when you look into their actions they

當你審視他們的行為時，他們

spend their time doing other meaningless

虛度光陰

things like organizing papers going out

諸如整理文件外出

for long lunches hanging out with the

悠長的午餐，與家人一起閒逛。

wrong crowd

錯位

fussing over little crab doing stupid

大驚小怪

stuff for the better part of their day

忙活了大半天

that doesn't lead them to bettering the

這並不導致他們更好的'。

things that they said was important to

的事情，他們說是重要的

them so you got to put first things

所以你得把第一件事

first spend some time with your family

先陪陪家人

before you waste your time doing

在你浪費時間之前

something like playing video games start

打遊戲

putting effort into creating a monthly

著力打造月度

budget instead of putting your effort

預算，而不是把你的努力

pinning new things on pinterest go and

在pinterest上釘新東西去和

work out first before watching that new

先健身再看新片

episode

插曲

the problem here is something

問題在於

psychologists call cognitive dissonance

認知失調

and it's when the things you say are

而且當你說的事情是

most important to you aren't the same

對你來說，最重要的是不一樣的。

things that you're spending most of your

的東西，你'花了你的大部分時間。

time on in fact some psychologists say

其實有些心理學家說

that this is unhealthy the disconnect

這是不健康的脫節。

between what we say we will do and what

言行不一

we actually do is terrible and I think

我們實際上做的是可怕的，我認為

working on this would improve a lot of

這方面的工作將改善很多

our lives so the first three habits are

我們的生活，所以前三個習慣是

about managing yourself and what you can

關於管理自己和你可以

do independently there are things you

有的事情你

can make changes mindsets you can alter

可以改變的心態你可以改變

an attitude you can adjust to

適應的態度

they set the foundation for the next

他們為下一個

three habits which have to do with

三個習慣與

becoming an effective person in society

成材

and involve being dependent so the

並涉及到依賴性，所以

fourth habit is called think win-win

第四個習慣叫雙贏思維

Stephen Covey says that there are six

斯蒂芬-柯維說，有六個

types of relationships and you can think

的關係類型，你可以認為

of them as personal business or even

視為私事，甚至

biological animalistic relationships the

人獸關係

first to what most people think the

首先對大多數人認為的

world is made of lose win or win lose

天下無不散之筵席

which means for me to win you have to

意思是我要想贏你就得

lose or the other way around people with

損人不利己

this type of mentality think that to

這種心態認為，要

have the largest skyscraper in the

擁有世界上最大的摩天大樓。

neighborhood they must tear all the

鄰居們必須把所有的

other skyscrapers down you should avoid

其他摩天大樓倒下了，你應該避免

these situations because someone will

這些情況，因為有人會

lose even if the net gain 20 in fact

虧損，即使淨收益20其實

most people don't even agree to us in

大多數人甚至不同意我們在

this they believe in reciprocal altruism

他們信奉的是利他主義

in the long run with lose is like a

長此以往，輸了就等於輸了

parasite where one wins and the other

敵我矛盾

losses the next relationship that we're

損失的下一個關係，我們'。

going to talk about is just toxic and

要談論的只是有毒和

nasty it's called lose-lose the best

討厭的東西，這就是所謂的 "輸不起"。

example I can think of is there's a

我能想到的例子是有'的。

story where this couple got married

鴛鴦譜

couple years later they decided to get

幾年後，他們決定得到

divorced but the man knew that his

離婚了，但男人知道，他的

ex-wife when half of everything that he

前妻，當一半的一切，他

owned in court but he had quite the ego

但他有相當的自負

and he didn't want her getting his

他不希望她得到他的。

Ferrari or Lamborghini so he sold them

法拉利或蘭博基尼，所以他把它們賣了。

both for ten dollars each

一人十元

see both people in this situation lost a

眼看著兩個人都在這種情況下失去了一個

substantial amount of value because of

價值巨大，因為

their hatred and you should definitely

他們的仇恨，你一定要

avoid any type of relationship like this

疏通關係

the next to relationships are not bad

旁邊的關係還不錯

but they should also be avoided solely

但也應避免只

win relationships aren't really a

贏的關係並不是真正的

relationship at all since they only

關係，因為他們只

affect one person people in this type of

這種類型的影響一個人的人

relationship don't care what anyone else

戀愛關係不在乎別人

gets as long as they get what they want

得償所願

it's actually very selfish that the next

它'其實是非常自私的，下一個。

relationship is called No Deal or No

關係稱為 "無間道 "或 "無間道"。

Deal is a neutral mentality and it's

交易是一種中性的心態，它'的。

actually the most preferable one is the

其實最理想的是

last one is not offered basically each

最後一個基本不提供

individual agrees that if both parties

個人同意，如果雙方

don't win there is no deal in other

不贏就沒有其他的交易。

words it's completely unselfish if I

如果我是你的朋友，你就會成為我的朋友。

can't get what I want without you

沒有你，我無法得到我想要的。

benefiting to it's not worth it and

受益於它'的不值得和

there's no deal

駟馬難追

the next relationship we're gonna talk

我們要談的下一段感情

about is called win-win and these happen

關於所謂的雙贏，這些發生

in couple relationships or business

夫妻關係或生意上

relationships and even in ecology

關係，甚至在生態學

mutualistic relationships or symbiosis

互生關係

is the term 12 animals benefit from

是指12種動物受益於

living together for you to win the other

一起生活，你才能贏得對方

person does not have to lose

人不失

I could buy and read a book that gives

我可以買來讀一本書，給

me huge insight into a recent problem

我對最近的一個問題有了深刻的認識

I'm dealing with and because of this i

我正在處理，正因為如此，我

benefit from the advice and the author

受益，筆者

benefits from the money I can make a

效益，我可以從錢中賺到一個

video and uploaded to youtube and

視頻並上傳到youtube和

benefit from the advertisement revenue

受益於廣告收入

and the viewers will benefit from the

而觀眾也將從中受益。

life changing perspective so start

改變生活的觀點，所以開始

searching for win-win relationships and

尋找雙贏的關係和

you will surely become an effective

你一定會成為一個有效的

person haha the next habit i love this

人哈哈下一個習慣，我喜歡這個

happen

咬合