i want to bring to your attention a new

mindset so before i read this book I

never really had this super-awesome

outlook on life and in fact it changed

my thinking forever so when you're in

any situation in life you can choose to

be reactive more proactive but the basic

idea is that by choosing to be proactive

you choose to increase your circle of

influence you see there are things that

you can control in there are things you

can't directly control such as the

weather where you were born or your

personal decisions of your boss things

that you can control include how you

react to it this is really the only

thing you can control in life if you

react without thinking or you say a

harsh word to your friend or you drink

all night and live in self-indulgent

after a long day where you just become

depressed when the weather is gloomy you

are becoming a reactive person you let

the environment control you and you're

simply a person reacting to stimuli when

you were reactive you focus on things

you cannot control for example you may

have been born into a socio-economic

lower or middle class family you may

have been born into an abusive family

you may even been diagnosed with a

terrible illness but focusing on it will

not change it you know what you can

control this is the secret to being

proactive and in turn becoming an

effective person you can control your

work ethic you can control how you treat

the people in your life and you can

control if you put on your seatbelt or

not by focusing on things that you can

control you bring more power into your

life and widen your circle of influence

so when short reactive people are people

who complain a lot instead of actually

going out and changing their actions and

proactive people understand that even if

they're complaining was justified

complaining about it wouldn't change

anything it would just be negative

toxins in their life including their

social environment of their peers see

most people choose to complain simply

because it's easier so let's move on to

the second habit how do you want people

to think of you at your funeral

the second habit is all about becoming

the person you want to be by thinking

deeply about how other people think of

you now I'm mature enough person and not

really care what most people think of me

but I do care what my loved ones think

of me I want my girlfriend to think i'm

loyal trustworthy and fun to be around

and because of this i'm not going to

cheat on her

I'm not going to lie to her and I'm not

going to fill our conversations with

complaints or negative thoughts

see when you die and there's a crowd of

people standing around your coffin

what will they say over their best

memories of you or their worst memories

of you be thinking about the end before

any major decision and this will help

you become a more effective person you

want to be remembered as a person who

added value to society

maybe start filling your facebook

statuses with more positivity and upbeat

content basically are you doing the

things that allow you to say you've

become the person that you want to be

the second half but also goes into

creation a bit see according to stephen

covey the author everything is created

twice once in the mind and once in the

physical real world

the problem is that many things are

created in the mind but never manifested

into tangible things because we tell

ourselves

I can't do it a lot of time the only

thing stopping you from doing something

is yourself and even worse situation is

when things aren't even created in the

mind at all for some people debt drugs

despair or other life problems prevent a

person from thinking about creation and

only on the negative outcomes of their

situation and this is where the first

have it comes back stop focusing on what

you can control and you'll be able to

create more you'll be able to add more

value to the world the last thing Steven

Covey mentions in this chapter something

called a personal mission statement now

this is the one line sit-ins that you

can rely on to give you a sense of

purpose in the world a very simple

mission statement is I want the world to

be better because i was here in fact

that's Will Smith's personal mission

statement

Oprah wants to be a teacher and be known

for inspiring my students to be more

than they thought they ever could be

if you keep this mission statement in

mind when you make every decision you

will always keep the end in mind now

that we've talked about the end let's

talk about the beginning so Stephen

Covey came up with this thing called the

urgent and important matrix basically

everything you can do falls into one of

four categories

here's the super easy graphic they can

make it easier to understand basically

anything urgent is something that needs

to be done as soon as possible and

anything important is something that

makes us effective the advice the author

gives is to do things that are not

urgent but they have to be important as

soon as possible because if you do

things that aren't urgent before they

are urgent then you won't have to fret

about doing them last minute here's the

thing that kind of annoys me if I ask

most people what they thought was

important they would say things like

their health their relationships their

financial credibility

when you look into their actions they

spend their time doing other meaningless

things like organizing papers going out

for long lunches hanging out with the

wrong crowd

fussing over little crab doing stupid

stuff for the better part of their day

that doesn't lead them to bettering the

things that they said was important to

them so you got to put first things

first spend some time with your family

before you waste your time doing

something like playing video games start

putting effort into creating a monthly

budget instead of putting your effort

pinning new things on pinterest go and

work out first before watching that new

episode

the problem here is something

psychologists call cognitive dissonance

and it's when the things you say are

most important to you aren't the same

things that you're spending most of your

time on in fact some psychologists say

that this is unhealthy the disconnect

between what we say we will do and what

we actually do is terrible and I think

working on this would improve a lot of

our lives so the first three habits are

about managing yourself and what you can

do independently there are things you

can make changes mindsets you can alter

an attitude you can adjust to

they set the foundation for the next

three habits which have to do with

becoming an effective person in society

and involve being dependent so the

fourth habit is called think win-win

Stephen Covey says that there are six

types of relationships and you can think

of them as personal business or even

biological animalistic relationships the

first to what most people think the

world is made of lose win or win lose

which means for me to win you have to

lose or the other way around people with

this type of mentality think that to

have the largest skyscraper in the

neighborhood they must tear all the

other skyscrapers down you should avoid

these situations because someone will

lose even if the net gain 20 in fact

most people don't even agree to us in

this they believe in reciprocal altruism

in the long run with lose is like a

parasite where one wins and the other

losses the next relationship that we're

going to talk about is just toxic and

nasty it's called lose-lose the best

example I can think of is there's a

story where this couple got married

couple years later they decided to get

divorced but the man knew that his

ex-wife when half of everything that he

owned in court but he had quite the ego

and he didn't want her getting his

Ferrari or Lamborghini so he sold them

both for ten dollars each

see both people in this situation lost a

substantial amount of value because of

their hatred and you should definitely

avoid any type of relationship like this

the next to relationships are not bad

but they should also be avoided solely

win relationships aren't really a

relationship at all since they only

affect one person people in this type of

relationship don't care what anyone else

gets as long as they get what they want

it's actually very selfish that the next

relationship is called No Deal or No

Deal is a neutral mentality and it's

actually the most preferable one is the

last one is not offered basically each

individual agrees that if both parties

don't win there is no deal in other

words it's completely unselfish if I

can't get what I want without you

benefiting to it's not worth it and

there's no deal

the next relationship we're gonna talk

about is called win-win and these happen

in couple relationships or business

relationships and even in ecology

mutualistic relationships or symbiosis

is the term 12 animals benefit from

living together for you to win the other

person does not have to lose

I could buy and read a book that gives

me huge insight into a recent problem

I'm dealing with and because of this i

benefit from the advice and the author

benefits from the money I can make a

video and uploaded to youtube and

benefit from the advertisement revenue

and the viewers will benefit from the

life changing perspective so start

searching for win-win relationships and

you will surely become an effective

person haha the next habit i love this

happen

so the other gives a little story where

that is talking to his coworker about a

situation with his son the father and

son have a talk after the talk to dad

goes to his friend for advice

I just can't understand my son sometimes

that ad says he won't listen to me and

his friend goes let me rephrase that you