Thank me! Thank me! Thank me!

Welcome to my 24/7 Youtube live stream.

Today I will be talking about various things, and very big things, in the world of things.

That's right. This is how your president talks now.

Well, it's been another crazy weekend for Donald Trump; in case you didn't hear the news, I'll tell you now.

I shot four under par—my best golf score yet.

But that's not what the fake news media reported on so it's time for me to take matters into my own abnormally gigantic hands.

The only way to ensure that the news you're watching is not fake is if I'm the one delivering it,

which is why I'm starting the Trump News Network.

This is TNN.

Welcome to TNN,

the only news network that is 100

Our top story tonight:

Sweden is still reeling from Friday's incident that absolutely did happen.

Details are still unclear but we're getting word it was definitely real,

and 100% not made up.

Our thoughts and prayers go out to all the Swedish men, women and fish.

Nextly, President Me just announced his pick for National Security Advisor, H.R. McMaster.

Normally, when I'm talking to H.R., it's because one of my female employees is threatening to sue.

But now H.R. is going to stand for "huge ratings."

That's right. We got McMaster. We got McMaster.

We're even teaming up with McDonald's to release a new burger in his honor, called "The McMaster".

It's two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese.

And honestly, it was the only burger that said "yes".

Nextly and sportsly, a new study finds that golf totally counts as work.

And now, for full weather report, here's our meteorologist, Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos.

Hi, hi, I'm a weatherman.

Betsy, talk!

Oh...uh...oh...we can expect sunny skies today.

I like this sun. Whenever it comes out, I say, "Hello, sun!", and look right at it,

and sometimes my eyes burn. I'm a weatherman!

Thank you very much, Betsy, thank you.

Let's get back to the real news, because there's a lot of bad things out there that people aren't talking about.

In fact, let's find out what the next big news story is going to be,

using my 100

Oh no! There's been a Godzilla Attack in Finland! Finland!

Finland! Can you believe it? And Godzilla, of all people!

We really need to capture Godzilla and send it back to China!

Well, that's all for this TNN report.

I've got to get back to work.

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