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  • A TEXAS LAWMAKER WOULD

  • LIKE TO LEVEL THE PLAYING FIELD AMONG MEN AND WOMEN WHEN IT

  • COMES TO REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS.

  • SHE PROPOSED A $100 FINE EVERY TIME A MAN MASTURBATES.

  • LET ME

  • GIVE YOU THE DETAILS.

  • A LITTLE MORE ABOUT THE SPELL.

  • I THINK

  • THIS IS HILARIOUS AND YOU SEE A LOT OF FEMALE LAWMAKERS PROPOSE

  • LEGISLATION LIKE THIS IT IS

  • USUALLY MEANT TO BE SATIRE, NOT SERIOUS.

  • IT ALSO DRIVES HOME A

  • POINT ABOUT HOW THERE IS A LOT OF ANY QUALITY WHEN IT COMES TO

  • REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS AND THINGS

  • LIKE THAT.

  • I DIDN'T KNOW THIS UNTIL RECENTLY AND IT BLEW MY

  • MIND.

  • DID YOU GUYS KNOW THE PENTAGON SPENT $294 MILLION ON

  • ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION DRUGS IN

  • 2011 ALONE, AND IN 2014 84.2 MILLION.

  • YOU HEAR CONSERVATIVES

  • ALWAYS WHINING ABOUT BIRTH

  • CONTROL.

  • BUT WHAT ABOUT YOUR STIFFY WE ARE PAYING FOR?

  • YOU'RE COOL WITH THAT RIGHT?

  • >>APPARENTLY WE ARE NOT WINNING AT THE PENTAGON ANYMORE.

  • WHAT I

  • AM MOST INTRIGUED ABOUT IS THE MALE REPUBLICANS IN TEXAS WERE

  • OUTRAGED BY THIS BILL AND FIND A

  • CRUDE AND RIDICULOUS.

  • THEY CANNOT SEE OUTSIDE THEIR OWN

  • PERSPECTIVE BECAUSE SHE IS

  • MIRRORING THEIR LANGUAGE.

  • SHE SAYS A ERECTAL EXAM WHEN THEY

  • MEAN VAGINAL EXAM.

  • AND

  • NUMBER TWO, A 24 HOUR WAITING PERIOD.

  • BUT YOU SAID THEY NEEDED A 24 HOUR WAITING PERIOD BEFORE AN

  • ABORTION.

  • AND THEY HAVE A PERFECTLY LEGAL RIGHT TO HAVE AN

  • ABORTION.

  • >>YOU KNOW WHAT I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO ADD ñ A PORTION WHERE

  • YOU HAVE TO COUNSEL, THE DOCTOR HAS TO COUNSEL THE MAN ON ALL

  • THE UNCOMFORTABLE COMPONENTS OF THE PROCEDURE HE NEEDS TO HAVE

  • DONE BUT IN SPECIFIC DETAIL AND SPRINKLE IN SOME MEDICALLY

  • INACCURATE INFORMATION AS WELL TO DETER HIM FROM GETTING THAT

  • COLONOSCOPY HE NEEDS OR THE RECTAL, OR VASECTOMY OR

  • WHATEVER.

  • >>BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THEY DO TO WOMEN.

  • WHEN IT COMES TO MEN

  • THEY FIND IT UNCONSCIONABLE AND UNTHINKABLE.

  • BUT FOR WOMEN THEY

  • DO IT WILLY-NILLY WITHOUT A

  • SECOND THOUGHT.

  • THE WHOLE REASON WE ARE HAVING THIS SILLY

  • PRO-LIFE, PRO-CHOICE DEBATE- WHICH THEY DON'T HAVE A LOT OF

  • OTHER COUNTRIES.

  • EVEN COMMUNIST CHINA IS LIKE WHY WOULD YOU CARE?

  • >> CHINA IS ON THE OPPOSITE EXTREME VOTE.

  • >> THAT IS ALSO BAD BECAUSE THAT IS THE GOVERNMENT INTERFERING

  • AND SAYING YOU MUST DO IT.

  • GET OUT OF OUR LIVES.

  • BUT IF YOU'RE

  • GOING TO BE IN OUR LIVES FOR BIBLICAL PURPOSES THEN SHE IS

  • RIGHT, MASTURBATION IS AGAINST THE BIBLE.

  • EVEN IF YOU ARE RIGHT

  • ABOUT THE BIBLE IT ALSO SAYS YOU

  • SHOULDN'T MASTURBATE.

  • WHY AREN'T WE PASSING LAWS FOR THAT?

  • >>THE BIBLE IS NO FUN.

  • LET'S KEEP IT REAL.

  • YOU ARE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO EAT SHRIMP.

  • >>AND

  • IF YOU MAKE ANY MONEY AT ALL YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT TO THE POOR.

  • >> I'M ALL RIGHT WITH THAT PART.

  • >>EVEN THE GOOD PARTS OF THE BIBLE ARE KIND OF A BUMMER.

  • SPEAKING OF SHRIMP YOU KNOW THAT

  • IS MY FAVORITE TOPIC.

  • WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A LOT MORE

  • AGNOSTICS AND ATHEISTS IN OFFICE BECAUSE THE YOUNGER GENERATION

  • IS SO MUCH MORE NONRELIGIOUS.

  • WHEN YOU GUYS GET IN OFFICE

  • PROPOSE THE RED LOBSTER AMENDMENT OVER AGAIN.

  • IF YOU ARE

  • GOING TO IMPOSE YOUR RELIGION ON ME, ALL I'M GOING TO DO IS ALSO

  • IMPOSE YOUR RELIGION ON THE REST

  • OF US.

  • RIGHT NEXT TO GAY

  • MARRIAGE IN LEVITICUS IT SAYS YOU

  • CANNOT EAT SHELLED SEAFOOD.

A TEXAS LAWMAKER WOULD

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