Anyways you guys before I go I have one more good story to tell you

I took a... I took a road trip about a year ago after I got rid of the beetle

in the SUV. Took a road trip from LA to Phoenix to go perform at this club

Let me tell you who's in the car. I'm driving

I got my buddy Armando riding shotgun he's another fluffy guy

We call him sexy bitch

I don't call him that his wife calls him that, "He's a sexy bitch"

Anyway, the back seat I got my friend Martin

Next to him is my friend Felipe.

So we take off

We're on the 10 freeway we're passing all these Indian casinos

Sorry, we're stupid like that! Anyway...

All of a sudden all these cars start passing me, right?

I'm getting annoyed because I'm driving a...

I said next car that tries to pass me

I'm not gonna let em. So I'm looking in the rearview mirror waiting... looking... waiting

waiting and I see a silver dot. The silver dot turned out to be a little car with two

hoochies in it right?

Now some of you guys are like how do you know that they're hoochies?

'Cause my friend Martin was in the back seat going

I feel a disturbance in the force.

They tried to go around and I cut em off

I'm having fun, they're back there E E E whatever

My friend Felipe's in the back seat

yelling at me, Fool, what are you doing?

I go dude, don't worry I'm having fun

Gabriel you're going to get pulled over.

Dude I'm ok, it's cool. We're arguing going back and forth

I'm not paying attention, I don't see

a California highway patrol officer creeping up on us

All of a sudden I hear

I look at the speedometer... 102

Oh, I freaked out

The little car that was behind me with the two hoochies

they got pulled over because they were going just as fast

I'm in the front seat of my car freaking out, oh my God I'm gonna go to jail, I can't believe it

I'm on the verge of tears

From the back seat I hear my friend Felipe,

Fool what are you crying for, what are you crying for fool?

You're not the one with weed in his pocket are you?

You have drugs in the car?!

I told you to slow down didn't I?

But noooo because chu knows everything

Shoot, everybody roll down your window

Air out the car

Mondo fart, do something man

The cop walks over to the window looks in, sees my face

Recognizes me from TV right

He's like hey I know you

You're a comedian

Yeah, you're that guy from Comedy Central you're the guy that

does that joke about his friend at a hotel and you crank call him and you call him a

dirty mexican and then you go

But it was funny huh? Oh I love that joke!

That one and when you go chocolate cake! Oh I love that joke!

I hate to do this to you but we got two cars involved

I need your license and registration

Ok here you go here you go

So he takes my info goes back to the car with the

two girls in it, right? The whole time he's back there I tell everybody in the car

Check it out he just recognized me from TV

Maybe if we have some fun with him

Crack some jokes maybe he won't take the car

I don't care if I get a ticket but as long as he doesn't take the car

Mondo be silly, crack a joke

Martin be funny

Felipe? What fool? Shut the hell up

So the cop comes back to the car

What the hell were you doing out there?

Before I could think of something funny to say, from the back seat I hear

Fool, he was testing the suspension

Oh my God this pothead's gonna get me arrested

Officer I'm sorry that's my friend Felipe that's the guy from the special

That's the guy who says but it was funny huh

He's just trying to get me in trouble I'm really sorry

Whatever...

So he goes back to his squad car with my driver's license and he's swiping it in a computer

The whole time he's doing that he's being yelled at

from the back seat of my car

Hey officer!

Thank God you have a computer!

Last week we got stopped in Mexico... That fool had a rolodex!

The cop starts dying

I go oh we got em going, we got em going

I told my buddy, Mondo give me my CDs

I take out my bad boys 2 soundtrack and I pop it in

Track 3 is the theme song to cops

I tell my friend Felipe tell me when the cop starts walking

Ok fool here he comes

I crank that song as loud as I could

Bad Boys

What chu gon' what chu gon' what chu gonna doooo

Best part now the cop is walking to the beat

Even better than that the two hoochies in the car can hear the music and they're freaking out like

Oh my god, we're gonna be on TV

The cop goes to the girls gives them a ticket let's them go

Looks at our car and at this point we're like halfway through the song right

We're like that might be going to be no rookie

police don't give me no break I don soldier la la la la la chimica

Bad boys bad boys

We got our arms out the window like a bunch of idiots

The cop is in the middle of the freeway dying

He walks over to the window and he's like

SHUT IT OFF!

Yes sir

Hands me my license and the registration and he tells me

Gabriel...

I want you to do me a big favor. I want you to keep his tank under a hundred

You think you can do that?

Do that for me

Keep on doing what you do

And you have yourself a nice day

w w w w... that's it?

No ticket?

No ticket

I don't know what possessed me to look at this man and go whyyy????

How come the girls got a ticket?

And he tells me the coolest thing, he says

'Cause they couldn't make me laugh

Wooo wee!

You don't understand Gabriel I've been on the force now for 26 years

This is hands down the funniest damn traffic stop I've ever been a part of

Do you have any idea how hard it is to give two sluts a ticket while listening to cops?!

I damn near pissed myself I was laughing so hard

This is going in the books as one of the funniest things to ever happen

to a police officer I swear to God

The only story better than this one is a buddy of mine pulled over some fat guy

that gave him doughnuts

So he starts walking away, right

And just as I'm about to start the car

So does that mean I could keep my weed?

I turn around to yell at my friend

Too late, the cop is at the window

You want to run that by me again son?

You heard what I said fool

Oh you think this is a big joke don't you

You think that just cause I gave your buddy here a break

I know who he is, I like what he does

I don't know you I don't like you... Step out of the car

I turn around and my friend Felipe is like woahhhh....

I'm so scared

And the cop pulls out his gun

I'm freaking out , I'm like oh my God!

Back seat, my friend Felipe ooohhhhh ooohhh I am so scared

Fool he is good, he is good

And then he points it at him

The look on my friend Felipe's face

PRICELESS

Are you serious?

Are you serious?

I'm gonna go to jail?

I'm gonna go to jail?

The cop was like

Nah!

But that was funny huh?!

I love you Bakersfield

Thank you!

I don't know