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  • You know, honesty is something that we often regard as a good thing, right?

  • We want our friends to be honest.

  • What do you think, is it too much?

  • That outfit should be burned.

  • Because it's so lit!

  • We want our partners to be honest.

  • Kelly, um, I want to tell you something, ugh, I'm so nervous.

  • Um, I've never said this to anyone before, but...

  • I love you.

  • Oh my god, Anna, are you serious?

  • Yes!

  • Oh my god, thank you!

  • I don't love you, but, you're great.

  • Okay.

  • But sometimes when people are speaking their truth, it feels cruel.

  • I was at a gals dinner when a friend said to me:

  • Anna, don't get too drunk.

  • You're a loud drunk, and I don't want to have to move.

  • And, I mean she's not wrong!

  • When I get drunk I get really loud, I mean to my credit, most people do.

  • But it felt so mean to me in the moment, even though I know she wasn't trying to hurt my feelings, because it was like what was I supposed to say?

  • You know, how was I supposed to react?

  • There was no way for me to continue the night without just sitting still, and shutting up, and feeling like I can't have fun.

  • And it made me wonder:

  • Where is the line between being honest and being mean?

  • I mean, does it lie in a person's intention?

  • 'cause I had a guy say to me, verbatim:

  • Yo, do you like to take a shit before I ate you out yesterday, 'cause your pussy smelled like shit.

  • And that is by far, the cruelest fuxxing thing anyone has ever said to me in my entire life.

  • Especially 'cause he knew I had issues with like letting people go near my vagina, it was like, weird, and it's vulnerable, and it's scary.

  • So I was like, why would you say that to me?

  • And he genuinely didn't think he was being mean.

  • He thought that he was being honest and straightforward, and that I would appreciate that.

  • What? I'm just being honest.

  • Isn't that what people do when they fall in love?

  • You know, we have all kinds of stupid horrible thoughts every day.

  • But that doesn't mean we should articulate every single one of them.

  • I mean, every time I have a knife in my hand, I think:

  • Wow, I could just go crazy and stab all of them right now.

  • And what would they do?

  • I could just take each of them down.

  • I mean, I won't 'cause I love them.

  • But I totally could, their lives are in my hands, I could just stab and slash and just blow them all away.

  • Hmm.

  • But it's not like I'm gonna "be honest" and tell a bunch of people that.

  • Guys, isn't it crazy that I could just like, kill all of you right now?

  • Like, for real though.

  • Like, none of you have any weapons.

  • I could just sprint at you Mary, and slit your throat.

  • And stab you in the heart, Jenny.

  • And just like, slash at Kaitlyn, and then rip Melissa's face off, like...

  • And like, what would you do?

  • A bunch of you would die.

  • Maybe sometimes we're using honesty as an excuse to be an asshole.

  • And I'm definitely guilty of this for sure, for sure I have done this.

  • But I genuinely want to stop, like I don't ever want to unnecessarily hurt someone's feelings, just because I feel like I have the right to be straight up with them.

  • And vice versa, if people are being honest with me, I would hope that it comes from like a place of love like someone's telling me that I'm probably dating someone abusive, or that, I'm maybe becoming an alcoholic.

  • I don't want someone to tell me that, in their opinion, I've done something wrong.

  • Because my vagina did not smell like shit and if it did, God forbid, you don't frickin say that to me.

  • So I encourage you to think about all the times that you've been honest, and ask yourself, were you actually just being mean?

  • Are you ever honest when it's hard, when you have to tell someone a truth that maybe they don't wanna hear, and you don't wanna tell them, not just something that you don't like.

  • I'm Anna Akana, stay awesome Gotham.

  • Also, thank you so much to Kelly for being in today's video.

  • You can check out her channel here, she uploads every day, and is a kawaii ambassador.

  • Thanks Kelly!

  • I really wanna say thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring today's episode.

  • Squarespace has a lot of beautiful, award winning templates, not to mention they have an all-in-one platform so there's no installs, patches, or upgrades, ever!

  • They also have 24-hour customer service.

  • So if you just like, offed your latest victim and you wanna update your website to alert the police, but you're having technical issues, Squarespace is there for you.

  • Not to mention, if you need a domain, they offer a very simple, unique set-up experience, it's easy peasy.

  • You can get square space for any kind of website, whether you're an artist, a photographer, or a serial killer like me!

  • Go to squarespace.com for your free trial today, and don't forget to use the offer code Anna for ten percent off at checkout.

  • Squarespace.

You know, honesty is something that we often regard as a good thing, right?

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