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  • - I AM GLAD WE'RE INSIDE. IT IS HOT OUTSIDE.

  • OOH, ISN'T IT HOT? IT'S VERY, VERY HOT.

  • IT WAS SO HOT YESTERDAY, I PUT ON A SWIMSUIT.

  • I FILLED THE LITTLE KIDDY POOL WITH ICE,

  • AND I STUCK MY FEET IN IT,

  • AND THAT'S WHEN THE MANAGER AT WALMART SAID,

  • "PLEASE.

  • LEAVE, LADY."

  • THE WEATHER IS SUPPOSED TO GET BETTER THIS WEEK,

  • BUT TODAY, I'M GONNA TALK ABOUT SOMETHING THAT'S--

  • IT'S NOT GETTING BETTER.

  • IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT'S GONNA GET BETTER ANYTIME SOON,

  • AND THAT IS FLYING.

  • ANYBODY FLY HERE TODAY?

  • [cheers and applause]

  • YEAH. WELL, NOT HERE.

  • YOU DIDN'T FLY DIRECTLY TO THE STUDIO,

  • BUT TO LOS ANGELES.

  • FLYING IS JUST-- IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY YEAR,

  • THE AIRPLANE SEATS ARE CLOSER AND CLOSER TOGETHER.

  • DOESN'T IT SEEM RIDICULOUS?

  • PEOPLE ARE SQUISHED TOGETHER, CAUSING A LOT OF PROBLEMS.

  • A FEW WEEKS AGO, THERE WAS A FLIGHT, AND THIS--

  • IT WAS IN THE NEWS. YOU PROBABLY SAW THIS.

  • THE LADY TRIED TO PUT HER SEAT BACK,

  • AND IT WOULDN'T GO BACK BECAUSE THE GUY BEHIND HER

  • PUT SOMETHING ON CALLED "THE KNEE DEFENDER."

  • HOW YOU HEARD ABOUT THIS THING?

  • I DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT IT UNTIL RECENTLY.

  • THERE'S THIS LITTLE THING, AND IT'S A REAL PRODUCT,

  • AND I DON'T KNOW WHO STARTED IT.

  • BUT ANYWAY, YOU ATTACH IT TO THE SEAT IN FRONT OF YOU,

  • AND THE PERSON CAN'T RECLINE THEIR SEAT.

  • IT'S TERRIBLE. I BOUGHT 12 OF THEM.

  • [laughter and applause]

  • THE LADY ON THE FLIGHT ASKED THE GUY TO--

  • I GUESS SHE FIGURED OUT WHAT WAS GOING ON.

  • SHE COULDN'T GO BACKWARDS.

  • AND HE REFUSED TO TAKE IT OFF, SO SHE THREW HER DRINK AT HIM.

  • AND SO THANKS TO THE KNEE DEFENDER,

  • HE GOT EXTRA LEG ROOM AND A FREE DRINK,

  • SO IT WAS A WIN-WIN FOR THAT GUY.

  • YOU JUST OPEN YOUR MOUTH WHEN PEOPLE THROW DRINKS AT YOU.

  • SEVERAL AIRLINES HAVE BANNED THESE,

  • BUT OBVIOUSLY THERE'S A DEMAND,

  • SO I CAME UP WITH SOMETHING CALLED "THE E-DEFENDER."

  • AND HERE'S WHAT MINE IS, AND IT'S REALLY COOL.

  • IT'S LIKE THE KNEE DEFENDER,

  • AND IT GOES ON THE BACK OF THE SEAT IN FRONT OF YOU,

  • BUT IT'S ACTUALLY-- LET ME SHOW YOU.

  • IT'S EVEN BETTER BECAUSE YOU CAN STORE THINGS IN IT.

  • MA'AM, DO YOU MIND IF I PUT THIS BEHIND YOU?

  • ALL RIGHT, 'CAUSE--

  • YOU CAN STAY WHERE YOU ARE. THAT'S FINE.

  • SO YOU CAN STORE THINGS.

  • YOU CAN KIND OF CHARGE YOUR CELL PHONE, YOU KNOW?

  • AND--AND I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

  • YOU'RE LIKE, "WHAT COULD THAT DO THAT,

  • YOU KNOW, WOULD KEEP SOMEBODY FROM RECLINING THEIR SEAT?"

  • BUT IF YOU WOULD-- WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

  • - MEEGAN. - MEEGAN.

  • TRY TO RECLINE YOUR SEAT.

  • [audience exclaims]

  • SO...

  • [cheers and applause]

  • THANK YOU. THANK YOU, MEEGAN.

  • [cheers and applause]

  • THANK YOU.

  • THANK YOU.

  • LET THAT BE A LESSON TO YOU, MEEGAN.

  • THAT'S--

  • THANKS FOR HELPING US OUT. APPRECIATE IT.

  • I KNOW IT'S TIGHT ON AIRPLANES.

  • I KNOW, BUT STILL,

  • WE SHOULD TRY TO BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER.

  • IT'S WHAT I SAY ON MY SHOW EVERY DAY,

  • AND ANOTHER THING I DO ON THE SHOW EVERY DAY

  • IS DANCE.

- I AM GLAD WE'RE INSIDE. IT IS HOT OUTSIDE.

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