who have asked me how I'm super calm,

I've got everything under control...

And I just wanted to say,

"Oh my God, you guys, are you serious?"

We are going to set the record straight right now.

I lose my shit!

I lose my shit every single morning,

when it's time to leave the house but nobody can find their shoes.

People! What are you doing with your shoes?

Just leave them next to the door in the evening

and then you'll find them in the morning!

This by the way includes my husband.

I lose my shit when I'm sitting on the toilet trying to take a dump

and I've got three little kids and a dog staring at me,

"What are you doing?"

"I'm taking a dump."

"Why?"

"Because I need to poop."

"Why?"

"Because I had a meal a few hours ago and my body has digested the food and now it's coming out in the form of shit."

"Why?"

"I don't have any more information but if you want, we can google it."

"Why?"

Hahaha...

I lose my shit when we're in the car on our way somewhere 30 minutes late

and somebody remembers that they need to wee.

I asked you 20 times before we left the house if you need to wee, you said you didn't.

So now you're going to have to cross your legs, squeeze real tight cuz we are not going back.

I lose my shit when it takes my three-year-old 45 minutes to finish a piece of toast.

This is not caviar, you don't need to savor every single bite you're taking, just eat your toast!

I lose my shit when I ask my dear husband to do something and he doesn't do it.

Six months down the line I ask him again and he tells me that I'm nagging.

I lose my shit when I hear the word "snack".

Snack! Can we have snack? I want a snack!

Snack, snack snack...500 times a day!

I lose my shit when it's 8 pm and I've had a long day.

I've been to work.

I've cooked dinner.

I've done three loads of laundry.

I've taken the dog out.

I've wiped butts.

I've helped with homework.

I've read books.

I've checked for monsters behind the curtain.

I've left the light on.

I've left the door open.

And then they come out of the room...

I lose my shit!

So next time you see any mom, including me,

who look like they never lose their shit,

think again.