This looks bad.

But I assure you,

I have everything under contr-UGH!

Okay, maybe not.

Ugh, such a dirty shoe.

First things first.

I'm not your average teenager.

I never get to grow up with a family with bikes and candy.

My family was an international network of killers.

I bike with a Falcon Recon 23X,

and the closest thing I ever got to candy was...

Well, I did get a lolipop once

but that's not the point!

As long as I remember, I've been trained to become an A.S.S.,

an Agent of Secret Stuff.

For 17 years I trained alongside with one of the cruelest, boldest, most heartless killer of all the A.S.S.es,

Tracy.

- It's a man's name...!

3 months ago, on the final day of my training,

Tracy brought me in front of a panel,

the highest ranked A.S.S.es.

I'm talking top quality A.S.S.

- Aden, for the past 17 years you have been like a son to me.

We've been on missions around the world,

prevented various global disasters and saved countless lives.

And now, it's time for you to become an official Agent of Secret Stuff.

But, before I give you your Honorary Operative License Entitlement,

your H.O.L.E.,

you have one more assignment you must complete.

- But... Sir! With all due respect, I devoted my life to training.

- You will follow orders!

- But... But why?! I already did all the hard stuff!

- We are A.S.S.es!

We do not complain when things get too hard.

We push on through, and we take it.

- But you said...

- Enough!

Please, tell Aden his assignment.

- Aden, we need you for a special assignment that only you can execute!

The Society Involving Not-so-good Stuff, a.k.a. the S.I.N.S.,

they have been our mortal enemies for decades.

And now, they have found a new target,

Taylor Rentrol, a high school senior.

We need an agent on the inside.

We believe that the S.I.N.S. have already infiltrated the school with assassins of their own!

Your mission is to pose as a high school student and protect Taylor from impending threats!

- But... why are they after Taylor?

- That will be revealed at a later time,

in like, 30 minutes?

We have already made preparations for your enrollment.

A spot has been made available in all of Taylor's classes.

She must not know that she is in danger!

This is a new world for you!

High school students are the most dangerous and misunderstood citizens that you will ever come across!

You must operate cautiously.

- I will not fail.

- Cool, peace out.

- Oh yea, come here.

Guys, I need your attention just for one second.

Hey!

Shut up. We have a new student.

His name is um... Jose McDonald.

Yea, obviously.

Why don't you say Hi, Jose.

Right on man, you're gonna fit in perfectly.

Why don't you take a seat in front of Bieber there?

You guys open up your Visions book to Chapter 14.

- Hey, I'm Taylor, Can I help you with something?

- Ho-lah, I'm "Joezy".

- Isn't it pronounced as "Jose"?

- Is that what you want it to be?

So it's gonna be like our code word for "danger"?

- What are you talking about?...

- You know, I'll be "Hose A", you'll be "Hose B".

- Are you okay?

- Taylor, zip it up and shut your face hole.

These kids are trying to learn.

- Thanks a lot.

- You're welcome.

- Hey Taylor, can I borrow your pencil sharpener?

- Yea sure, Melvin.

Suspect will require a pencil sharpening tool to convert the writing stick into a weapon.

By inserting the yellow thing into the green thing, the dull thing will turn into a sharp thing.

He will then proceed to jump behind his target while she is pre-occupied,

and apply a fatal impending weapon into her jugular artery!

- There you go.

- Give the sharpener back.

- What's your problem?

- What do you take me for, a fresh--man?

Give the sharpener back.

- Jose, what are you doing?

- Fine, Jeez.

- What was that all about Jose?

- Don't worry, I got you. "Hose B".

- Alright, class, that's it.

Remember, Chapter 15! Read it... or not, it's your future.

Oh by the way, pop quiz next week! You guys know the drill.

Oh, Taylor, I'll need to speak with you after class, if you have a moment.

Good work today, guys. I was kidding.

Remember these days, kids. You will miss them.

See you tomorrow!

Hey, Taylor, I want to talk to you about the... the homecoming dance.

I know it is kinda a thing that you are planning with the student council.

But we do have a lot of volunteering that is coming up, you know,

make sure you still have time to do that.

- No, definitely, it should be fine.

We are almost done planning.

- Okay alright, I trust you. You're not like the other bastards in this class.

You're the good one.

- Thanks, I appreciate it. Is that it?

- Alright I'll see you later. - Bye.

- Don't you ever do that again.

- Excuse me?

- I said, don't you ever do that again.

Keeping Taylor in the room alone is not safe.

- Oh yea, I forgot, you are right.

I didn't know what I was thinking otherwise I'll be... Who the hell are you?

- Well, I am the new kid, remember?

You just introduced me.

- Get the hell out of my class!

- I am glad that we had this talk.

- Hey there, son.

I am glad I found you.

I hope you enjoyed your first day of school so far.

I just wanted to give you your new locker assignment.

Actually, you are quite lucky, a new one just opened up the other day.

- Oh, hey!

Wow, your locker is next to mine.

I wonder where Billy went.

- Yea, strange huh, Ha ha ha ha...

- Well if we gonna see each other this much,

why don't we just start over?

Hi, Jose, I'm Taylor. Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you too.

- It's called a handshake, Jose.

You're so silly, it's like you've never made a friend before.

- "You will follow orders!" - "Ahhh..."

- Hey Taylor!

- Oh hey, what's up, how are you?

- I'm good. Did you finish that paper in English?

- No, not yet, it is due soon? In two days...

Suspect from across the hall examines his target, his eyes indicate he is aiming for the most exposed and vital area, her chest.

Only 3 steps away from pumping her with barrages of bullet punches straight to her ribcages that will no doubt stop her heart forever for life!

- What are you looking at?!

- Bye Jose!

- Bye!

- I said, what were you looking at?

- Chill out, Man, I'm just checking out Taylor's rack, she is looking especially hot today.

- Her rack?

- Yea, man, her knockers.

- So you were trying to knock her!

- No, man, I am talking about her boobs!

- You know, these things?

- Oh, okay then, as long as you were not looking at that ribcage.

You stay the hell away from that ribcage!

- Bryson! New guy!

- I'm gonna destroy you!

Your face is gonna be so ugly when I am done with your face, cause... it's kinda handsome right now.

Ah.....!

- I wasn't ready! I want a rematch!

Target is greatly outnumbered by opposition, each of them possesses some sort of netted-stick weapon.

Surrounded and unaware, she is vulnerable to attacks from all directions!

- Jose? Where did you come from?

- You almost took a shuttlecock to the face.

- But how did you...?

- What are you doing?! Come on! Let me go!

How did I even get here?! Let me go! Come on!

- How did you do that?

- He's like... incredibly fast and strong.

- He's like a mystical creature that is fast and strong.

- I know, right? He's like a... a unicorn!

- But a human... a "humacorn".

- Stop it guys, he's just different.

- He's a freak.

- I don't know, I think he is kinda cute the way he takes everything so seriously.

- It's kinda creepy... don't you think?

- He's harmless, he's like a little puppy that just wants all your attention.

- A "humacoruppy"!

- You girls are ridiculous. Let's go.

- I think Taylor has a crush.

"High school students are the most dangerous and misunderstood citizens that you will ever come across!"

- What happened?

- Slippery floors...

- What?

- Probably didn't see the "Piso Mojado" sign...

- What?

- Yea, let's just...

- But what about my...

- Uhh... yea, so I hope you have a good first day at school.

- You're still alive, so it's a great day.

- Okay, I'll see you later.

Oh, are you coming this way too?

- Hey, so I was talking to Mr. Anderson about the event coming right after homecoming.

I am gonna need a lot of help planing that event. I don't know how...

- No...!

- Ah..! Oh my god!

Get out of my room!

- Don't throw things... No!

- Get away from me! Ah...!

- Alright, I am not gonna hurt you.

You just need to... just calm down, Okay?

- Okay...

- Are you trying to get yourself killed?

Did you know what you just almost did but didn't do because I didn't let you do what you wanted to do?

- Yes?

- No! You don't!

Do you know what this is?

This is Little Miss Double Rainbow Girly Cookies and you almost eat them all the way.

You don't even know who has handled this or who could have poisoned this.

- What?

- Look, I've been trying to stay undercover but you are making this too damn difficult.

First, first you handed over a pencil sharpener to someone with a pencil.

Do you wanna get stab in the neck?

And then, you almost took a shuttle cock to your face. Do you know how much that hurts?

Have you ever have a shuttle cock to your face before? No, you haven't. It hurts, I know.

Now you are eating cookies, you're eating cookies! Do you wanna get poisoned?...And fat?

Your carelessness is driving me insane!

- I am driving you insane?

My friends are right.. you are a freak...

I know exactly what you are...

- Oh you do, alright then say it, say it out loud.

- Unicorn...

- What? Unicorns don't even exist, in North America, probably.

- Then who... What are you?

- Alright look, I am gonna be completely honest with you.

I'm not really a Mexican. My name is not Jose, it's Aiden.

And I'm an A.S.S.

- Yea, you are.

- No, you don't understand. Look, I am in the final stages of becoming an Agent of Secret Stuff.

And my last mission was to come here and protect you.

- Protect me? From who?

- The S.I.N.S.!

- Is this all just to get me to go to church?

- Oh my god... You're stupid.

Alright, okay, here, here is the whole story.

Back in WWII, a group of fleeing Nazi special agents formed a society of assassins to secretly revenge the Axis of power. This group is called the Society Involving No-so-good Stuff.

One of the assassins only known as X when he could no longer support such a war in the world... fled the S.I.N.S. and started his own group of killers to battle all the S.I.N.S. plans.

They were known as the Agent of Secret Stuff. That's me.