Playing in the paint, I see

It's my favorite place to draw fowls

Why are you still here?

I thought your bannermen left long ago

Do you think they can make it home

without you to carry them?

[Sensible chuckle]

How about a quick duel, James? One on one

Just like old times

I don't have time for your games, Brodie

Some of us are still in the playoffs

You're right. I'd hate to break those

SECOND most valuable ankles before your next series

Ay! You come into my casa with so much sass-a

Do your worst, bitch!

Mmm, very nice!

A double Shammgod into The Answer’s crossover

Impressive

Actually, that was Tim Hardaway's

Oh, sorry

I was supposed to let you get the rebound, right?

Now this move here, I used it for my 22nd triple-double

Ha! I used this one for my 42nd

I don’t know why you don’t come to Houston more often

You clearly love to travel

Oh this from a man who leads the league in turnovers?

Not anymore!

Game point, James

Time to show off those renowned defensive skills

Ah, but actually, my defense is much improved!

In fact, if you look at the numbers,

you will see that I contested over EIGHT shots per game,

Third most among guards—

Aw, MOTHER FOYLE!

We could've had it all, James

If you and the Serpent hadn’t slithered away

OK, Russ. Like this isn’t what you wanted ALL along

To finally be the MAN

All the triple-doubles, the Realm MVP...

Now he does what he wants, right?

...Everything except win

Now if you’ll excuse me

I have to get my ass kicked by the Spurs

And get his ass kicked, they did

Though Ser Beard and his bannermen won the first battle,

House Spurs proved too strong,

vanquishing House Rockets in six games

Elsewhere in the West,

House Warriors made quick work of the Brotherhood with One Banner

and sent House Jazz to a swift demise

When the Pop King and his Soulless Army tried to stop them,

they found silver was no match for gold

Over in the East,

the Hammer of Akron smashed rebellions from House Pacers and the Canadlings

All eyes turned to the one seed,

but the King of the Fourth proved merely

the King of Fourth Place

And so it was written

King James and the Champions of Balleros

against the most powerful house the Realm has ever seen

OK, well maybe second

Second?! Who's first?

Well, obviously it's Ser Jordan and his 96 Bulls

Well, some say it's the Bulls, but others argue

it's the Showtime Dynasty right here in Los Angeles!

How do we become a dynasty again, Lord Magic?

I want to become a dynasty!

Well, the first step is to trade all the little buggers who send inappropriate ravens

Harumph!

Then, we sign big-time free agents

Like Paul George!

And thirdly, we build through the DRAFT

Yesss! From the fire you are born, my little Lonzo

The Triad of Balls will make the Realm shake

Go forth, and get us our ONE BILLION gold

WAAAAHHHH!!! I want to play for the Lakers, Daddy!

THAT'S MY BOY! MUHAHAHA!

HAHAHAHA!

HAHAHAHAAAA!