Ever since I can remember,

自從我有記憶以來

I personally have been practicing it for the last 5 and a half years.

我個人在過去5年半的時間裡一直在實踐。

I have been a trainer for the last 8 months.

我已經做了8個月的教練了。

But I will get into that a little bit later.

但我以後會講到這一點。

My college career has been unconventional to say the least.

我的大學生涯可以說是不拘一格。

I started out as pre-med, got halfway through my freshman year in college,

我一開始是醫學預科，大一的時候半路出家。

before realizing that really wasn't for me.

才發現那真的不適合我。

I switched my major about 4 times

我轉了4次專業

before finally landing on international studies

最後落在國際研究上

and eventually choosing public health.

並最終選擇了公共衛生。

I think it took me a long time to figure out

我想我花了很長時間才弄清楚... ...

what I want to do with my life, for a few reasons.

我想用我的生命做什麼，有幾個原因。

One, I'd always struggled with self-confidence,

一、我一直在為自信而努力。

and I would set my standards for myself so high,

而我卻會把自己的標準定得那麼高。

that anytime I failed to reach them,

在我無法聯繫到他們的時候

or I felt I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing,

或者我覺得我沒有做我應該做的事情。

instead of finding strength from that situation,

而不是從這種情況下尋找力量。

I would beat myself up in falter.

我會在動搖中自責。

Two - my idea of success, happiness, and satisfaction up until recently

二--直到最近，我對成功、幸福和滿足的想法。

was completely misguided.

完全被誤導了。

We live in a world that encourages this idea,

我們生活在一個鼓勵這種想法的世界裡。

that in order to be internally satisfied, we have to rely on external circumstances.

為了滿足內部需求，我們必須依靠外部環境。

This is an idea that's been hammered into our heads,

這是一個已經敲入我們腦海的想法。

probably since we could understand

大概自我們能理解

what happiness, success, and satisfaction were.

什麼是幸福、成功和滿足。

Obviously, these are different concepts for different people at different times.

顯然，這些對於不同時期的人來說是不同的概念。

It could be the little things

可能是一些小事

like spending time with friends and family,

喜歡與朋友和家人共度時光。

or curling up with a good book;

或蜷縮著看一本好書。

or getting good grades, getting the job you want,

或取得好成績，得到自己想要的工作。

finding the person you're meant to spend the rest of your life with.

找到你命中註定要與之共度餘生的人。

While all these things are great things,

雖然這些東西都是偉大的事情。

we're still relying on things outside of ourselves to make us happy.

我們還在依靠自己以外的東西來讓我們快樂。

This idea of external substance creation has been magnified

這種外在物質創造的思想被放大了。

with the increases in technology and the advent of social media.

隨著科技的發展和社交媒體的出現，。

We can't really exist without our devices anymore,

我們真的不能再沒有設備而存在了。

it's almost like our phones have become

幾乎我們的手機已經成為

other body organs that we can't live without.

其他身體器官，我們不能沒有。

No offense to anybody, but I can guarantee,

沒有冒犯任何人，但我可以保證。

the second I'm done talking,

我一說完話

the majority of you will subconsciously reach for your phone and check your texts.

大多數人都會下意識地拿起手機，查看簡訊。

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

And social media -

而社交媒體--

social media has created this idea of false happiness and satisfaction.

社交媒體造就了這種虛假的幸福和滿足的想法。

Nobody wants to share bad moments of their lives,

沒有人願意分享他們生活中的糟糕時刻。

none wants to share their mistakes or their failures.

沒有人願意分享他們的錯誤或失敗。

So social media has made it seem

所以社交媒體讓人覺得

that everyone is always successful, and happy, satisfied all the time.

每個人總是成功的，而且一直很快樂，很滿意。

What if things don't go our way?

如果事與願違呢？

What if don't get the grade we want?

如果沒有得到我們想要的成績怎麼辦？

What if the person we thought to spend the rest of our lives with

如果我們認為要和他共度餘生的人呢？

breaks up with us?

和我們分手？

Or we do get the job we want, but there is a negative aspect to it?

或者我們確實得到了自己想要的工作，但也有消極的一面？

Like our boss sucks, or we have a horrible co-worker.

比如我們的老闆很爛，或者我們有一個可怕的同事。

Suddenly, the concept that was providing us

突然間，為我們提供的概念。

with internal satisfaction, externally is now negative.

與內部滿意，外部現在是負。

What I am realizing more and more

我越來越意識到

is that not only is our success temporary but our happiness is conditional.

是我們的成功不僅是暫時的，而且我們的幸福也是有條件的。

We are only happy or satisfied

我們只是高興或滿意

because something external is making us happy and satisfied.

因為一些外在的東西讓我們感到快樂和滿足。

We are never truly satisfied for the sake of being satisfied.

我們永遠不會為了滿足而真正滿足。

That's where I realized I was going wrong.

我這才意識到自己錯了。

Let me back up a little bit.

讓我退後一點。

Anybody who knows me knows

認識我的人都知道

my entire life I had been on a one-way path to becoming a doctor.

我的一生都在走一條成為醫生的單行道。

My family is filled with medical professionals,

我的家族裡有很多醫學專家。

and at age of 5, I declared I was going to be just like them.

而在5歲時，我宣佈我要成為像他們一樣的人。

Of course, my incredible Indian parents let out a huge sigh of relief

當然，我不可思議的印度父母也鬆了一口氣。

because they didn't have to convince me to go into medicine.

因為他們不必說服我去做醫生。

For a long time, that was what I wanted to do

很久以來，這就是我想做的事。

until I started learning more about myself, my passions, and interests.

直到我開始更多地瞭解自己，瞭解自己的激情和興趣。

Suddenly, becoming a doctor was less of what I wanted to do,

忽然間，當醫生就不是我想做的事了。

and more of what I felt obligated to do.

而更多的是我覺得有義務去做的事情。

Because my entire life I have been taught

因為我的一生都在被教導

that in order to be successful you have to be a doctor.

為了成功，你必須成為一名醫生。

I was always a weirdly compliant kid,

我一直是個奇怪的順從的孩子。

I always knew my parents knew what is best for me.

我一直知道父母知道什麼是對我最好的。

So instead of being confident to stand up for myself,

所以，反而沒有信心站出來為自己說話。

I went along with it.

我也跟著去了。

Fast forward to my freshman year of college:

快到我大學一年級的時候。

I was miserable.

我很痛苦。

I was taking classes that I hated, and I was doing poorly in them.

我在上我討厭的課，而且我的成績很差。

The person I thought I'd spend my life with

我以為會和我共度一生的人。

broke up with me the second he went to college.

他一上大學就和我分手了。

I was still living at home,

我當時還住在家裡。

so I felt like I wasn't having the normal college experience.

所以我覺得我沒有正常的大學經歷。

After years of having a plan and a direction for my life,

經過多年的努力，我的人生有了一個計劃和方向。

all of a sudden, I was lost.

突然間，我迷失了方向。

When you go through hard times or through a break-up,

當你經歷困難時期或分手時。

everybody tells you to get out, do things for yourself.

每個人都告訴你出去， 做自己的事情。

And I did, I'd hang out with friends,

我也是，我會和朋友們一起出去玩。

I would go curl up with a book at a bookstore,

我會去書店蜷縮著看書。

I joined our Bollywood Fusion dance team at school,

我在學校加入了我們的寶萊塢融合舞蹈隊。

I would get a massage.

我會去做按摩。

But those were temporary satisfactions.

但這些都是暫時的滿足。

I would still come home and still feel internally dissatisfied with myself.

我回到家，還是會覺得內心對自己不滿意。

Social media became the bane of my existence.

社交媒體成了我生存的禍根。

I'd see my friends, my ex, and all my classmates

我會看到我的朋友，我的前男友，還有我所有的同學們。

posting pictures of their college adventures,

發佈他們大學冒險的照片。

their dorm rooms, their new friends, all these new things.

他們的宿舍，他們的新朋友， 所有這些新的東西。

I felt like a failure for a couple of reasons.

我覺得自己很失敗，原因有幾個。

One - I didn't have anything to share on social media.

一--我沒有任何東西可以在社交媒體上分享。

I was still living at home,

我當時還住在家裡。

I didn't feel like I was having the conventional college experience.

我覺得自己沒有傳統的大學經歷。

And two - as an Indian,

第二--作為一個印度人。

I wasn't meeting the standard of success that had been dictated for me.

我沒有達到為我規定的成功標準。

I wasn't doing well to become a doctor.

我做得不好，沒能成為一名醫生。

But because that was all I knew as success, I stuck with it,

但因為我只知道那是成功，所以我堅持了下來。

and my GPA and my self-esteem failed as a reason.

而我的GPA和自尊心失敗是一個原因。

So how did I change this? How did I turn my life around?

那麼我是如何改變這一切的呢？我是如何扭轉我的人生的呢？

Like I said, meditation has been a part of my life ever since I can remember.

就像我說的，從我記事起，冥想就是我生活的一部分。

My dad has been practicing a form of meditation called Raja yoga,

我爸爸一直在練習一種叫拉賈瑜伽的冥想方式。

or yoga of the mind, for over 35 years.

或心靈瑜伽，35年以上。

My mom started shortly after they got married.

我媽媽在他們結婚後不久就開始了。

Just like people go to church, a temple, or a synagogue,

就像人們去教堂、寺廟或會堂一樣。

meditation is my way of life; it's all I have ever known.

冥想是我的生活方式，這是我所知道的一切。

I always knew I was going to start practicing meditation at some point;

我一直都知道自己要在某個時候開始練習冥想。

I tried it a couple times at my freshman year of college,

我在大學一年級的時候試過幾次。

but anything at that point that my parents thought would be good for me,

但凡是在那個時候，我父母認為對我有好處的東西。

or it would help me get out of the rut that I was in,

或者它能幫助我走出我所處的困境。

I was completely rebellious against.

我完全是逆來順受。

Thankfully for me, very luckily, I have incredible friends,

對我來說，非常幸運，我有不可思議的朋友。

and I have to show off pictures of them, because they are my whole world.

我不得不炫耀他們的照片，因為他們是我的整個世界。

I was very lucky to have friends

我很幸運，有朋友

who were not only starting their college careers,

誰不僅開始了自己的大學生涯。

or they were halfway through their college careers,

或者他們的大學生涯已經過半。

but they were going through similar things that I was,

但他們正在經歷類似的事情，我是。

and they hadn't built up the resistance to mediation that I had.

他們沒有像我一樣建立起對調解的抵抗力。

One of my friends convinced me to go to a mediation retreat one weekend.

我的一個朋友在一個週末說服我去參加一個調解靜修會。

At first, I cribbed, and I fussed,

起初，我啼笑皆非，大驚小怪。

I wanted to stay in my own little bubble of self-pity and misery.

我想呆在自己的小泡泡裡，自憐自艾，痛苦不堪。

But in the end, I am so glad I went,

但最後，我很高興我去了。

because it was probably the best thing that could happen to me.

因為這可能是最好的事情 這可能發生在我身上。

So what is meditation?

那麼什麼是禪修呢？

I'm sure everybody here has a general idea in their head of what it is,

相信在座的各位在腦海中都有一個大致的概念。

but just to give a few more definitions.

但只是為了多給幾個定義。

"Meditation is an exercise that trains your mind to regulate itself.

"冥想是一種訓練你的心靈自我調節的運動。

It's the ability to focus on one thing continuously without break.

這是一種連續專注於一件事而不中斷的能力。

If practiced properly and diligently,

如果練習得當，勤於練習。

it's a consistent reconnection with your true inner self."

它是一個一致的重新連接 與你真正的內在自我。"

A lot of people brush the concept of meditation aside

很多人把冥想的概念刷到一邊去了

because we think, "How do we function without our thoughts?"

因為我們會想："如果沒有思想，我們如何運作？"

"How do we get through our day without thinking?"

"不思考，我們如何度過一天？"

Other thing people don't realize

其他人們不知道的事情

is just like our bodies require physical activity

就像我們的身體需要運動一樣

to keep it strong, healthy, and active,

以保持其強壯、健康、活躍。

our minds are muscles that also require exercise and regulation

心靈是肌肉，也需要鍛鍊和調節

to keep it strong, happy, healthy, and active.

使其保持強壯、快樂、健康、活躍。

A lot of times, people neglect their minds because they forget this point.

很多時候，人們因為忘記了這一點而忽略了自己的心靈。

If you think meditation is hard, you are absolutely right.

如果你認為打坐很難，那你絕對是對的。

It is very difficult to get your brain to shut up

要想讓你的大腦閉上嘴是非常困難的。

for longer five seconds and not think about something else.

更長的五秒鐘，而不是去想別的事情。

That is another reason why people don't try it out.

這也是大家不嘗試的另一個原因。

The first time I sat down to meditate,

我第一次坐下來打坐的時候。

it felt like every single thought I had ever had in my 18 years of existence

這感覺就像我18年來的每一個想法

decided to come into my head at that exact moment.

決定在那一刻進入我的腦海。

No matter how many times I tried to push them away,

無論我多少次想推開他們。

ignore my thoughts, or try to get into a state of thoughtlessness,

忽略我的想法，或者試圖進入一種無思無想的狀態。

they kept coming back.

他們一直回來。

I thought, "Why am I doing this?

我想，我為什麼要這樣做呢？

Another thing in life I am failing at; why am I even trying?"

生活中的另一件事我是失敗的，我為什麼還要努力呢？"

The second time I sat down to meditate during that retreat,

那次閉關期間，我第二次坐下來打坐。

my thoughts decreased by a quarter.

我的想法減少了四分之一。

The third time I sat down to meditate during that retreat,

那次閉關期間，我第三次坐下來打坐。

they decreased by half.

它們減少了一半。

Gradually, it was as though I was starting to see the world in High-Definiton.

漸漸地，我彷彿開始看到了高定的世界。

Not only could I see my external circumstances very clearly

我不僅可以很清楚地看到我的外在環境。

but I was finally starting to see my true inner self

但我終於開始看到我真實的內心了

with the objectivity and clarity that I not had ever before.

客觀性和清晰度，我從來沒有過。

The practice of meditation that I am a part of prescribes

我所參與的禪定修行，規定了

meditating twice a day for one hour each time.

每天打坐兩次，每次一小時。

Once in the morning for an hour, once in the evening for an hour.

早晨一小時一次，晚上一小時一次。

I will be totally honest, it took me a very long time

我說實話，我花了很長時間

to get to a point where I was consistent with this.

以達到我與此一致的目的。

Some days I was doing a really great job.

有些時候，我做得非常好。

I get up, I meditate, I go to bed, and I meditate.

我起床，我打坐，我睡覺，我打坐。

Before I went bed I would meditate, and I'd be fine.

睡覺前我會打坐，我就會沒事。

But other days, more bad days than good days,

但其他日子，壞日子比好日子多。

I would just be downright lazy,

我就會徹頭徹尾的偷懶。

and I would stay up all night watching Ellen videos,

我會熬夜看艾倫的視頻。

and then wake up late the next morning instead of meditating.

然後第二天早上很晚才醒來，而不是打坐。

My rationale for this was,

我這樣做的理由是：

"I'm young, I have the rest of my life to work on my meditation practice,

"我還年輕，我還有後半生的時間來努力修煉禪定。

I don't have more time to watch Ellen videos."

我沒有更多的時間去看艾倫的視頻。"

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

But I think it took me a long time to connect with my meditation practice

但我覺得我花了很長時間才和我的冥想練習聯繫起來。

because I wasn't accustomed to the silence that came with meditation.

因為我不習慣靜坐時的沉默。

I think. as humans, we thrive on noise

我想，作為人類，我們在噪音中茁壯成長。

because it makes us feel as we're doing something.

因為它讓我們覺得自己在做什麼。

So I sit to meditate, and about 5 to 10 minutes in,

所以我坐著打坐，大約5到10分鐘。

I would realize I was craving noise, I needed some sort of distraction.

我會意識到我渴望噪音，我需要某種分心。

So I'd give up on meditating,

所以我就放棄了打坐。

and I immediately reached for my phone or for my laptop.

我立即拿起手機或筆記本電腦。

What this taught me was I had come to point where I hated silence.

這給我的啟示是，我已經到了討厭沉默的地步。

This also taught me how loud my world was.

這也讓我知道了我的世界是多麼的喧囂。

Noise is not just sound or cacophony,

噪聲不僅僅是聲音或嘈雜聲。

noise is the frustration you feel with a family member or a friend.

噪音是你對家人或朋友的挫折感。

It's writer's block,

這是作家的障礙。

it's not understanding a concept at school.

這是不明白的概念在學校。

Anything is noise if it is loud enough to distract us.

只要聲音夠大，能分散我們的注意力，什麼都是噪音。

When I realized that I'd come to hate silence,

當我意識到自己已經開始討厭沉默的時候。

it made me examine my routine; I realized I couldn't get through a day

它讓我審視我的日常工作；我意識到我無法度過一天的時間

without sound, or noise, or distractions of some sort.

沒有聲音，或噪音，或某種分心。

I would wake up in the morning, and I would meditate half-heartedly

早上醒來，我會半心半意地打坐。

before giving up because it got too hard.

才因為太難而放棄。

I would immediately reach for my phone of for my laptop,

我會立刻拿起手機，而不是筆記本。

and I would play music and videos

我會播放音樂和視頻

while I was getting ready for school or while I was eating breakfast.

在我準備上學的時候，或者在我吃早餐的時候。

I'd drive to school with music on, I'd get to class, I'd be fine;

我開著音樂去學校，到了教室就沒事了。

about halfway through class I'd zone out thinking about the video I watched.

上課到一半的時候，我就會想到我看的視頻，就會恍然大悟。

There would be so much chaos coming around me and in me

我的周圍和我的身體裡會有很多的混亂

because of my thoughts and distractions

心不在焉

that I'd come home and feel frustrated,

我回家後會感到沮喪。

and let out that frustration on my family members

並把這種挫折感發洩在我的家人身上

not knowing what to do with it.

不知道該怎麼處理它。

I'd start my homework and feel frustrated

我開始做功課的時候就會覺得很沮喪

because I wasn't understanding the concepts,

因為我沒有理解這些概念。

but that's because I had music on the background.

但那是因為我有音樂的背景。

I try to sit down and meditate at the end of the day,