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  • Welcome dear viewers, to the show; It's only

  • the start of 2012, but already, coast to coast we

  • hear reports that humanity has evolved, globally

  • now that we know the cause of all our woes - Joseph Kony.

  • The world's now on a better path, and the panacea

  • seems to have come from this hero white man here:

  • whose internet video played a vital role in

  • highlighting the plight of Uganda's child soldiers

  • It went viral and spread with unprecedented speed

  • shared over twitter feeds and endorsed by celebrities.

  • to tell us more, we're happy to have him on:

  • It's General Baxter representing Africom

  • General Baxter, good to see you

  • - Right back atcha

  • - Tell us, what does all this signify for Africa

  • - Well, Robert, I can tell you for a start

  • KONY2012 really made me appreciate Art

  • when my son showed me this clip, my heart was stirred

  • I was spurred to action to right the wrong that occurred

  • - Tell us your feelings General, be honest

  • - Since we killed Osama there's been a hole in my stomach

  • - I'm sorry to hear that... - I miss him!

  • - Why? - Because we desperately need a new "dark-skinned Disney villain" [thanks, Sage!]

  • So we can justify defense budgets of trillions

  • in a never ending quest to kill him

  • And this time it's African soil where we need to get embroiled

  • and quick, before China gets all the oil

  • - So this Kony is a perfect gift then!

  • - He looks like a bad guy AND he hurts children!

  • - KONY2012 was an experiment, was it a success?

  • - Yes! kids are begging the US to bomb Africa next

  • Check this out -- let me introduce you to Gavin, my son

  • Gavin, what does Daddy do? - Kill poor people, with guns

  • - Now, look at what happens

  • when I show Gavin a picture of an African

  • Who's this? - That's a bad guy

  • - That's right! And what do we do to bad guys?

  • - We use drones and armed forces

  • to kill them and take their resources

  • - See Robert! even a four year old has got it!

  • This makes me so proud...sorry!

  • - The video's done more than you ever envisaged

  • and in twenty seven minutes, without cats or titties!

  • - We used to have to wait for terrorist attacks

  • to justify interventions and mineral grabs

  • now, thanks to viral videos we can "send advisors"

  • to lynch... I mean arrest ... black...I mean Bad Guys

  • - And what will you do once they've been caught?

  • - Hand'em over to the International Criminal Court

  • - You mean the same court which the US refuses

  • to submit to for its own war crimes and abuses?

  • is that hypocrisy? - Robert, honestly!

  • the ICC only prosecutes dark people's atrocities

  • - Ok, I hear there's been criticism of the video's accuracy

  • fallacies, and neo-colonial fantasies

  • - Don't have such a 'Heart of Darkness', Robert

  • join the 'Missionary Industrial Complex'!

  • save poor Africa from burning

  • accept 'the white man's burden'

  • Plus, 90 million Americans now know

  • that 'Africa' exists, that's good, no?

  • - I suppose so.

  • Alright, General Baxter, thanks for appearing tonight

  • to explain the facts in black and; well, mostly white.

  • Some might disagree with this call to 'make Kony famous',

  • but what we've witnessed this week is nevertheless momentous:

  • a demonstration of this internet's potential abilities

  • to instantly inform and engage tens of millions;

  • and a willingness of those millions of people

  • to engage passionately with something more meaningful

  • combined, these are promising signs

  • of the potential energy that lies dormant and primed

  • ready to rise, when the moment arrives

  • what that moment will be, we shall see in time

Welcome dear viewers, to the show; It's only

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