(Ian) SHUT UP!!!

- ♪ (video game music) ♪ - (Anthony) What the hell is this?

Dude, I think we're in Super Mario 2.

Hmm. Never played it.

I always just skipped right to the third one

'cause this one looked weird as f*ck.

- (blipping noises) - Oh! Pick me! Pick me!

(chiming noise)

Uh, what if we don't wanna play?

- (bones crack) - AAAAH! MY ARM!

(sobs)

♪ (Super Mario 2 theme music) ♪

Whoa! Whoa!

(both scream)

(both groan)

What kind of a stupid game starts like this?

♪ (video game music) ♪

(Ian) Oh, crap.

Uh, what do we do?

Oh my god.

Dude, you just jump on them like in every Mario game ever.

- (boing!) - Yep!

Um, yeah, that didn't do sh*t.

Okay, um-- well, that's actually pretty fun.

(chuckles) Check it out.

Hmm, I guess you gotta jump on them harder in this game?

(Anthony grunts)

Huh?

- (boing!) - DIE, YOU PIECE OF SH*T!

DIE!

(grunts)

Wha-- What?!

I know, dude, this is actually getting kinda boring.

- (record scratches) - Whoa! Cool!

- (Anthony) Whoa! Whoa! - (Ian) Wait, dude, check this out.

- (chiming noise) - (Anthony) AAAAAAH!

- YOU ASSHOLE! - Oh my god.

♪ (game over music) ♪

Oh, dude, stop!

It's another one of those fruity grim reapers.

Uh, oh, maybe this is a weapon.

(record scratching sound)

What?! Why the hell is there a radish in this game?

Who cares? Just throw it!

(sighs) Fine!

(chiming noise)

Oh, what the hell?!

AAAAAH!

♪ (game over music) ♪

♪ (cheerful video game music) ♪

Whoo!

(record scratching noise)

Awesome!

Whoa, dude, don't drink that!

These guys are wearing weird orgy masks.

Come on.

(sighs) Fine!

Whoa, cool!

Ian?

(wind whistles)

Uh...(exhales)

So...what's with the weird orgy mask?

It's not an orgy mask. I'm just shy!

Stop being so ignorant!

Oh, s-sorry. I didn't know.

(Ian whimpers)

Where have you been?!

I don't know. It was dark and scary.

It kinda reminded me of my uncle's basement.

(Ian hyperventilates)

(Anthony) Ooh.

♪ (game over music) ♪

Nope, nope, nope.

I'm not gonna touch anything else. This game is way too weird.

Fine, suit yourself.

(record scratching noise)

(chiming)

- Yes! - Seriously?!

- Don't be such a pussy, man. - (sighs) Okay.

Oh! POW!

That must mean "power up", right?

Oh, you destroyed my radish farm!

That was my only source of income for my whole family!

I have six little masked children that I need to feed.

What about that one right there?

- (Anthony grunts) - (boing!)

(fuse hisses)

Oh, come on!

(8-bit explosion)

♪ (game over music) ♪

(both grunt)

(both) Whoa!

This is so f*cked up! She's shooting her children at us.

Well, actually, those eggs are not fertilized

and there's no children in there.

Yeah, she's basically just shooting her menstruation

- at us from her mouth. - Oh god!

How is that supposed to make me feel better?

I can't stop. Please kill me!

I'm a biological monster!

Wait, I have an idea.

It's a little extreme, but let me do it.

What are you doing? Wait, what're you doing?!

Oh no! No! No! No! No! No!

(Anthony screams)

(monster) Thank you!

Yeah!

♪ (game over music) ♪

So what do we do now?

Well, when we killed that weird thing,

that huge-ass bird mouth opened up,

so maybe we just walk through it to end the level?

You know what?

Nothing else in this stupid game makes sense,

so why the hell not!

Yup.

- (bones crunch) - (both scream)

(blood splatters)

♪ (video game music) ♪

(Anthony) It's-a me, Mario!

Clicka the subscribe button to get-a 1 Up!

Yeah, the weird looking one from Super Mario 2

that doesn't look like a 1 Up at all!

It's red and doesn't make any sense.

(Ian) To check out bloopers from this video

and watch us make complete asses of ourselves on the green screen...

(screaming in various pitches)

...click the video on the left.

And if you haven't seen us go into the first Super Mario Brothers game,

click the video on the right.

Come on!

- Yeah! - (boing!)

Oh, lemme try that!

(grunts)

OH!

[Captioned by Subtitle YouTube]