All I'm saying is your friend Duane

can be kind of a douche.

You're calling my best friend a douche

and I'm not suppose to care?

I would never say something bad about

any of your friends.

Really?

On October 11, 2015,

you said Sabrina was so annoying,

that it made you grind your teeth.

I never said that!

Uhh, here we go .

Let's see, find the file.

Oh, here's the transcript.

Now, is there a video that accompanies this?

Ah, perfect. Thank you.

How does she always remember this sh*t?

It's like she always waits to bring things up at the perfect time.

I can never win an argument!

Women are like elephants.

They have extraordinary memories

capable of recalling the smallest of details.

The battle men face in relationships involves the ego.

Basically, if you can accept the fact

that you will always be wrong

in every argument you ever have with your girlfriend,

YOU'LL BE HAPPY!

I can't do that.

Do you want to get laid again?

Babe, are you still mad at me?

I think I got something that can help us.

Aww, babe. This is so accurate.

Anyway, I'm sorry I said all those things about Sabrina.

Aww, thank you babe.

Well, you're sorry, too, right?

Awwww, hehe.