NARRATOR (CONT’D) Comes the most forgettable Twilight movie

旁白：最容易讓人忘記的《暮光之城》電影來了。

yet…

然而...

NARRATOR (CONT’D) Witness the continuation of one of the most

見證了一個最重要的事件的延續。

forced love triangles in film history…

電影史上的強行三角戀... ...

NARRATOR (CONT’D) Where this shirtless guy is clearly a third

這個赤裸上身的傢伙顯然是個三流子

wheel.

輪子。

EDWARD “We don’t need you to handle anything”

我們不需要你來處理任何事情"

BELLA “Ugh!”

貝拉 "唉！"

NARRATOR Because she told him in previous movies and

因為她在以前的電影裡跟他說過...

in this movie, that she will always choose Shovel-Face.

在這部電影中，她將永遠選擇鏟子臉。

JACOB “You’re marrying him?”

JACOB "你要和他結婚？"

NARRATOR But that won’t stop her from leading him

旁白： 但這並不能阻止她帶領他

on.

在：

BELLA “I’m asking you… to kiss me.”

貝拉 "我在請求你... 吻我"

NARRATOR Just so they can continue to sell “Team

旁白：為了讓他們能繼續銷售 "團隊"，他們會把 "團隊 "的名字改成 "團隊"。

Jacob” t-shirts… and pad the running time, with three-way stares.

雅各布 "的T恤衫... ... 和墊的運行時間， 與三方的目光。

NARRATOR (CONT’D) Prepare yourself, for two hours of filler,

準備好，兩個小時的填充物。

like...

喜歡...

NARRATOR (CONT’D) Laying in bed…

躺在床上... ...

NARRATOR (CONT’D) Walking around outside…

在外面走來走去... ...

NARRATOR (CONT’D) Villains standing around doing nothing…

惡棍們站在那裡無所事事... ...

NARRATOR (CONT’D) And pointless flashbacks for minor characters.

還有小人物毫無意義的倒敘。

NARRATOR (CONT’D) A movie so gay…

一部如此同志的電影... ...

It has groups of shirtless boys

它有一群裸體男孩

NARRATOR (CONT’D) Shovelface refusing sex.

鏟子臉拒絕性生活。

NARRATOR (CONT’D) And the tent scene out of Brokeback Mountain.

還有 "斷背山 "的帳篷場景。

JACOB “I am hotter than you.”

JACOB "我比你更熱。"

NARRATOR (CONT’D) An actress so terrible...

一個如此可怕的女演員... ...

BELLA “Have you…”

貝拉："你有沒有..."

NARRATOR (CONT’D) She speaks with weird long pauses.

她說話時有奇怪的長停頓。

BELLA “…imprinted on someone?”

貝拉"......印在某人身上？"

BELLA (CONT’D) “We’re gonna talk about this but…you.”

貝拉（CONT'D）"我們要談這個，但是......你。"

BELLA (CONT’D) “I would’nt be uh… warm.”

"我不會... 暖和的"

BELLA (CONT’D) “You looked…worried.”

貝拉（CONT'D）"你看起來......很擔心。"

BELLA (CONT’D) “My life is not…miserable.”

BELLA (CONT'D) "我的生活並不... 悲慘"

BELLA (CONT’D) “Edward is…old school.”

貝拉："愛德華是... ...老派的。"

NARRATOR And three movies in, still has the same dumb

旁白：三部電影下來，還是一樣的蠢貨。

expression.

表達方式：

NARRATOR (CONT’D) Is every director afraid to tell her to close

旁白：是不是每個導演都不敢叫她關門？

her mouth?

她的嘴？

NARRATOR (CONT’D) A final battle so unfulfilling, it’s built

最後的戰鬥是如此的不盡人意，它是建立在

up an entire movie…

整部電影...

NARRATOR (CONT’D) but is over about a minute…

旁白： 但大約一分鐘後...

NARRATOR (CONT’D) and doesn’t have any impact on the overall

旁白(續)，並不會對整體產生任何影響。

saga.

傳奇。

NARRATOR (CONT’D) A film so bland…

一部如此平淡的電影... ...

NARRATOR (CONT’D) Oh no, this again..

哦，不，又是這個... ...

NARRATOR (CONT’D) Even we are running out of things to be honest

說實話，我們也沒有什麼東西可做了

about…

關於...

NARRATOR (CONT’D) It’s lazy even by Twilight standards.

即使以《暮光之城》的標準來看，這也太懶了。

NARRATOR (CONT’D) Don’t forget to watch this weeks Screen

不要忘了觀看本週的螢幕。

Junkies episode...

癮君子的情節...

NARRATOR (CONT’D) Where dads answer Twilight trivia for their

爸爸們為他們解答 "暮光之城 "的瑣事。

daughters…

女兒們...

NARRATOR (CONT’D) We made an eleven year old cry.

我們讓一個11歲的孩子哭了。

NARRATOR (CONT’D And tell me something you’d like to hear

告訴我一些你想聽的東西。

me say in my epic voice.

我說在我的史詩般的聲音。