- Hey everyone.

It's your girl Jen and today's video

is gonna be about self-confidence.

I know a lot of you guys are under the impression

that I'm a confident person and I would say

at this point in my life, yes, I am confident in myself,

I'm happy, I'm secure.

Obviously I still have my insecurities, I'm human,

but they don't consume me like they did when I was younger.

And I would say that this whole confidence thing,

really came maybe the past four to five years

so all these life lessons are pretty fresh

so I thought I would share them with you

so let's get started.

So my first rule is to stop judging other people.

This is number one because I think it's the most important

and if you don't apply this to your life already,

apply it today.

I feel like this day and age it's so easy

to put someone down and say nasty comments

like eh, why would she wear that?

That's like my number one pet peeve

is when people talk shit

about what other people are wearing.

I feel like fashion especially, everyone has the right

to wear whatever that they want

so let's say like we're at a club

and someone says something snarky

about what other girl is wearing,

that really grinds my gears, like I don't like that.

I feel like whether someone wants to wear

like a fishnet body suit or sweats every day,

that's their prerogative and it does not

effect your life whatsoever.

And if you are about to talk smack about someone,

pause for a second and think about

whether it effects your life in any way.

If it doesn't, let it go.

It really doesn't matter.

When you are hard on other people,

you are harder on yourself.

Talking smack about someone else isn't gonna

bring them down to your level, it's not

and have you ever noticed that the people

that talk the most shit are the most painfully insecure?

Let's just leave it at that.

So the next time you're about to bad mouth someone

or judge someone, just realize that

it's a cheap form of conversation or thought.

So my next tip is for those people that get a little nervous

when they're walking in public,

or they're afraid of being stared at.

So when I walk in public,

I literally just look straight ahead.

I don't make any eye contact with people.

I just literally walk my direction,

because when I was younger I was always really paranoid

about the looks that people would give me.

I'd be like, ugh like why did they look at me?

Do they think that I look stupid?

Do they think I look dumb?

And all these things, all these thoughts

would rush into my head and make me feel even more insecure.

So my solution was to literally stop looking at other people

and continue just walking my way.

And I've come to realize that if people are looking at you,

number one chances are it's not really negative.

Or number two, they're probably looking at you

because you looked at them.

I don't know I just like to avoid that situation altogether

so I don't make any eye contact when I'm walking

on the street and I just look straight ahead.

Tip number three is to listen to a badass playlist.

Like most people, music has a huge impact on my life.

And don't underestimate the power of music,

it can really change you.

So when I was in college, when I would wear

like a crazy outfit, something really bold,

I would just put on my playlist, walk straight ahead,

and it would literally be like I was in my own world.

Definitely, take the time out

to curate your own badass playlist.

Put all the bangers in there,

stuff that makes your heart pound.

Stuff that makes you feel powerful and confident.

It's so important.

I am gonna leave a link to my playlist

that makes me feel confident in the down bar.

Just be warned it's gonna be a random slew of songs,

but each song is really near and dear to my heart.

You can see like, I don't know,

I have like random taste in music.

And also if you guys have a confidence like song

that makes you feel amazing put it in the comments

down below cause I would love to listen to it.

Tip number four is to expand yourself, to stretch yourself.

I think it's so important because if you want to grow

you're gonna have to stretch,

and when you stretch it's gonna hurt a little bit,

but that's the only way you're gonna grow.

For example, when I was younger I was terrified of driving.

Like literally so anxious on the road.

Like my heart would beat really fast

and there were sometimes where I just like

wouldn't even go to certain places

because I didn't want to drive.

But fortunately I had to conquer my fears

and when I lived in Davis and I wanted to go home

I had to drive six hours down so

that constant driving over and over and over again

just made me more comfortable with the road.

I wasn't scared about switching lanes any more

and honestly if I can tell my 19-year-old self now

that I would be completely fine on the road

with no anxiety I would've been floored, literally.

Stop avoiding stuff that you don't want to do

because it's so important for you.

The more you do something the easier it becomes.

My last life lesson is you will grow

into who you are as long as you absorb.

So my senior quote in high school was be yourself,

everyone else is taken by Oscar Wilde.

And this was a mantra that I really fixated on

and I just kind of obsessed over

because at the time, I didn't know who I was

and I desperately just wanted to be me,

but I didn't know who I was yet.

And now that I look back, it is perfectly fine

to not know who you are.

It is a gradual process and everyone has different times

on when they start becoming comfortable with themselves.

But all you gotta do to get to that process

is just absorb as much as you can.

I feel like the world is just like a big chaotic place

with tons of different information just flinging at you

and your brain is just like a sift

that's just like catching as much as it can

and what comes out of the sift it all just like

goes in a big pot and it marinates

goes in a big pot and it marinates

and what is in that pot like that's your soul,

that's who you are.

And the only way you know who you are is by absorbing

as much and experiencing as much stuff as you can.

So don't hold back.

Watch those movies you've always wanted to watch,

talk to those people, wear what you want to wear,

go to those concerts, watch those documentaries,

listen to podcasts.

I'm literally just saying everything

that's coming in my mind.

Now is the time to develop your interests.

And it's so important to do that

because that is gonna really shape who you are

and I think it's a beautiful thing

because in the end we're all just like

little bits and pieces of everything

that we've ever experienced

and I think that is such a beautiful thing.

This is just a process that I would just want everyone

to start on because it's so important

and such a gift to really be comfortable with yourself,

and it's something that everyone can achieve.

Wooh, okay guys so those were my five life lessons

that I've learned to be more comfortable with myself.

I know I probably missed a lot of other tips

that I could've incorporated so you guys

should definitely write in the comments down below,

what has made you a happier person,

what has made you more confident.

I would love to just make the comment section

a big, just like open forum.

I want to let you guys know that I appreciate you so much

and this channel would be nothing without you

and I want to film more of these like advice videos,

but I never want to come off too preachy.

Cause I don't have the answers for everything,

I really don't.

I really don't have answers to anything at all,

but I just wanted to share with you guys

just some information that I have learned myself

and anything I learn I want to share with you guys

cause you guys are really important to me.

So I hope you guys have a beautiful day

and I'll see you guys in the next one.

Bye.

(kisses)

(ambient music)