He told me to respect it and use it responsibly or he'd take it away.

Well, this is that very pocketknife, so clearly I listened to grandpa.

Also, he’s dead now.

If he ever shows up to take it back, I’ll have to use it to put his zombie ass down.

Pocket knives are the golden retrievers of tools...

They're loyal, trustworthy, and frequently covered with drool.

To keep their coat shiny and healthy, you’ve got to take care of them.

First, scrub the blade of your knife regularly using a small brush with just a little soap and water.

If you have a wood handle or something that could be damaged by water...

Well, don’t damage it, knucklehead.

Dry your knife gently by dabbing it - not wiping it - with a soft cloth.

Then let it air dry for maybe 10 minutes.

Up next, we’ll lubricate the moving bits.

You're gonna put just a couple of drops right here at the hinge point.

I like to use butcher block oil so I can use my knife to carve something edible...

Like an apple.

Or a shark.

Lastly, it’s important to keep the blade of your knife sharp.

Normally prefer to use a whetstone but the bottom of a ceramic coffee mug works just as good.

And it looks a hell of a lot cooler.

First, drink your coffee.

Mmmm.

Then, you're gonna take your mug and turn over on a towel to keep it from sliding...

And to catch any drops of coffee left behind.

Then, holding the knife at about a 20 to 30 degree angle...

...drag the length of the blade across the rough edge of the mug maybe five or six times.

Do the same with the other side of the knife

And then alternate strokes for two more times on each side.

Obviously, knives are sharp and pointy and useful for cutting things...

Including you.

So be careful.

Treat your knife with respect and use it responsibly.

Otherwise my zombie grandfather will come back from the grave and take it from you... and eat your brains.

That, my friends is some wisdom for you.

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