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  • Tomorrow will be your two year wedding anniversary,

  • congratulations.

  • Yes!

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • I know, I'm very lucky.

  • I was so lucky.

  • I must have done something really,

  • really right in life to get that reward.

  • That's sweet.

  • Well, you're a very, very good person and that's number one.

  • I feel like I'm not that very, very good person.

  • You're pretty good, you're pretty good.

  • He's better than me.

  • What is number two?

  • Is that cotton?

  • What is the second year?

  • I think it's cotton.

  • You're supposed to do something--

  • Yeah, cotton.

  • Cotton what?

  • Anything cotton.

  • But what do you do with the cotton?

  • You know what I did?

  • For our second year, Portia and I, we do the thing every year.

  • And for the second year it was cotton,

  • and this is how much I love her because I hate cotton balls,

  • but I glued cotton balls and I made the number two on a canvas

  • and framed it, and did two out of cotton balls.

  • Because it was cotton, so that's what I did.

  • You can do anything stupid.

  • But for what?

  • To present it to him?

  • No, don't steal my idea.

  • You're not going to do that.

  • Yeah, I'm not going to do that number two in cotton.

  • Where is this thing now?

  • All I'm saying is--

  • Do you still have it?

  • No, she threw it away-- yes, she still has it!

  • [INAUDIBLE]

  • It was kind of a joke, but it's cotton

  • and it's cotton balls because I hate cotton

  • so it was kind of a, anyway--

  • forget it.

  • I don't know what's more weird, that you made the two

  • or that you hate cotton.

  • Why would anyone hate cotton?

  • What's wrong with cotton?

  • What is wrong with cotton balls, I can't hardly say it.

  • When you touch them.

  • Not everybody says, oh it feels like cotton.

  • Oh, this is good cotton.

  • Yes, but cotton like a shirt or a t-shirt, but not the balls.

  • I really hate this though, especially

  • if you've gone to the dentist and they have to put--

  • Oh I hate that.

  • Yeah, it's horrible.

  • Anyway, this will get edited out.

  • We don't have time for this.

  • I have been trying to teach myself Spanish,

  • so I've been doing a Spanish word of the day.

  • Oh, really?

  • Yeah.

  • So I thought I would teach you an English word.

  • OK, I know English very well.

  • I know.

  • So your English word and you'll say the word

  • and then you'll say what it means, and it's flabbergasted.

  • Flabbergasted.

  • That's right

  • I had said that word before.

  • You see my American English?

  • What about discombobulated?

  • Discombobulated.

  • Discom-- Wait, say it again.

  • No, no, no, say it again!

  • I knew that was a better one and he goes,

  • tell her to say flabbergasted.

  • Discombobulated.

  • Discombulous.

  • Wait, give me, like, three times.

  • Flinglonbostcomblating.

  • Come here.

  • Come here.

  • Discombobulated.

  • Disblondblu-- it's because I'm nervous, hold on.

  • You're not nervous!

  • Yeah.

  • Discomblulasting.

  • Discombobulated

  • Discomblobulating.

  • That is not even a word you're just

  • doing it to ruin my reputation.

  • It is a word, it means confused or disorganized.

  • Discombobulated.

  • Discombloblulated.

  • Say it one more time.

  • Say it again?

  • Discombobulated.

  • Discombloblulated.

  • No, it's a stupid thing!

  • Dis-- co-- blah--

  • blulated.

  • That's not right.

Tomorrow will be your two year wedding anniversary,

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