MOM! DAD! WAKE UP!

[Screaming]

SANTA CAME! SANTA CAME!

WAKE UP! AHH IT'S CHRISTMAS IT'S CHRISTMAS TIME!

This has got to be my least favorite Christmas tradition.

[Photo Click]

Well, you got your photo, I hope Facebook explodes. Heh...Don't tag me, please.

It's almost go time, okay? You're too old to cry this year. Remember, what's your line?

Santa, I want a tracker boat for Christmas. You got it? Okay. Hey, let's do this.

[Crying]

[Crying]

Santa: Merry Christmas.

All right, this one is from Uncle Dave. Oh! All right! New grill spatula!

Cory: Guessing I should go ahead and open mine from Uncle Dave.

Garrett (Uncle Dave): Got a killer deal: three for twenty!

Tyler: Oh, nice–wait, three?

Garrett (Uncle Dave): Oh, Andrew hasn't opened his yet.

Cody (Andrew): Oh ho! Nice!

[Celebrating]

Kristin, remember: We're trying to save that wrapping paper for next year.

Kristin: Got it.

[Shouting, rock music playing in background]

Kristin: Trying to be so careful right now.

Garrett: Yeah, you have to.

[Continued Shouting]

Kristin: So close! I can almost see what this is now.

[Even more shouting]

6 hours!? I mean it's a trampoline and a basketball goal!

[Metal Clanking]

I don't need this! They must've given me, like, four trampolines in this box!

That $25 fully assemble fee ain't sounding too shabby right now.

[Ruffling Noise]

[Creaking Sound]

(Kicks Box) *Ruff*

[Rattling Noise]

Cody: Dude, Ty, what are you doing?

(Drops Box) [Loud Shatter Noise]

Deep Voice: Hey! What are you doing over there!?

Cody (hushed voice): It's dad!

[Plastic Bag Noise]

Ok you all, throw me your trash!

[Paper hitting Cody noises]

All right, let's try, and make it in the bag, okay, wow.

I thought we were keeping bows! Was that this year, or was that last year, I never remember.

[Shopping Cart Noise]

[Muffled Clothes Sound]

[Hanger Noise]

[Heavenly Choir Sound]

Stan, John, Jony, Johnny, JP, Amanda, Coby, Tyler, Garrett...and anyone else I forgot.

All right kiddos, this is from Uncle Coby, you're up next!

[Coby Chuckling]

Boy: Okay, this is good!

[Ripping Noise]

Cody: Last year, he got you a hammer.

*Gasp*

[Kids Screaming]

Boy: HE GOT A PUPPY!

[Coby laughing]

Kids (together): IT'S A PUPPY! YES!

Boy: Dad, what should we name him?

Cody (Dad): I don't know, maybe like a modern name, like Temporary?

Boy: How about Oliver?

Coby: Yeah, Oliver! Guys, that's so good! Cory: I like Oliver.

Boy: Woah! A lightsaber!

Tyler: That's awesome! Mom always gives the best toys.

All right from Mom to me...Oh! A belt...

Mom: This is kind of a transition year for you. You know, everything can't be a toy.

Echo: You know, everything can't be a toy.

[Tyler sobbing]

Voice: It's a good practical year.

Tyler (sobbing): Thanks, Mom and Dad, thanks.

Does anybody have a pocket knife?

Cody: Yep. [Knives whooshing]

Cory: ...Thanks.

Garrett (person with chosen knife): Yes! Others: Aww...

Allison: Alright boys, you have to get all four of these right, or the girls win.

Tyler: Hey, it's a dial-in, here we go. Timer!

Tyler (high-pitched voice): Anytime a bell rings an angel gets–

Cory: It's a Wonderful Life!

Tyler: Nice!

Tyler (deep voice): Welcome to the party, pal!

Cody: Oh! Die Hard–probably not a Christmas movie.

Tyler: Debatable, we'll talk about it after.

[Scream]

Coby: Home Alone!

Tyler: Nice!

Tyler (mocking Narwhal): Bye Buddy, hope you find your dad!

Tyler (mocking Buddy): Heh, thanks Mr. Narwhal.

Tyler (mocking Buddy): I love smiling! Smiling's my favourite!

Tyler (mumbling): Are you kidding–

Tyler (mocking Buddy): You smell like beef and cheese, you sit on a throne of lies!

Tyler (mocking Buddy): Son of a nutcracker!

[Buzzer Sound]

Allison: AHH! Girls win! Woooo!!!

Tyler (exasperated): ELF!

Cody (Clare): I've never seen it.

Tyler: Are you serious Clare?

Cody (Clare): Oh I know that one! Christmas vacation!

Tyler (screaming): IT'S TOO LATE! IT'S. TOO. LATE. AHHHHH!!!

[Panicked yelling]

[Smashing Noise] [Glass Shattering]

[Smashing Noise]

[Yelling]

[Silverware Clattering]

[Continued Yelling]

[Glass Breaking]

[Loud Thump, Tree Cracking]

[Shouting]

[Sudden Stop]

Tyler (regular tone): That would be a little bit too far. By the way, if you've got your nativity set up like this, technically it's not Biblically correct.

The Wiseman weren't actually here yet. They were still traveling. Anyways, (rage monster) AHH!

[Shouting Again]

[TV being smashed]

[Plastic Crumpling]

[Angry Shouting]

Cody: PUT IT OUT! OW, IT'S SO HOT!

Tyler: Don't see a name here...This is to Dad from Mom...and yeah, there is no name tag on this present.

Cody: What?

I've been doing this for 59 years and that's never happened.

That's Christmas 101.

Who could be this careless?

What is this, amateur hour?

I say we open it.

I think we should burn it.

How hard is it to put a name tag on a present?

This is the kind of thing that could get you kicked out of the family.

Garrett (thinking to himself): Oh, man. That's definitely mine.

Garrett (out loud): I mean I don't want to point fingers, but that's definitely Kevin's wrapping.

Tyler: Oh man! I got Santa's eyes way too close together.

Cody (laughing hysterically): NO! GARRETT GET IN HERE!

[Both laughing]

Garrett: Dude, what is that?

[Everyone (except Tyler) laughing]

Cody: FAIL!

[Continued laughter]

Cody: Two more steps...all right! Merry Christmas!

Allison: OH MY GOSH! It's even better than the one you got me last year!

Allison: Seriously babe, I love it!

Cody: Well you better, it cost me 25 bitcoins.

Allison: What's a bitcoin?

Bethany: Beads are like railroad tracks–they don't cross.

Bethany: Have you ever been to Christmas? Six inch spacing between the bulbs on the tree!

Bethany: Saw that!

Tyler (mocking tone): Wedding bulb, as a statement bulb, make sure it's at the middle of the tree!

Bethany: Are you mocking me?

Tyler: No! Love you.

Aw, my nephew would love this! Ha, so would I!

What was I shopping for again? Ha, oh nice!

Cody: You guys have this in a kid size 6?

Clerk: All I'm gonna have of that is an adult 13.

Cody: Oh! Actually, that'll work!

I have been pretty good this year.

You know, it really is a gift for the whole family. Let's do it.

Man, it's humid out here. Morning Bill! Merry Christmas! No shirt, good call!

Hey, y'all make sure to head on over later! Got a rack of ribs on the grill, we're gonna take a dip in the pool.

Gonna be a good time.

Middle Person: Hey, thank you guys for coming.

Tyler: This better be impressive.

Middle Person: Heh heh...check this out.

[Jolt of Electricity]

Cody and Tyler: WOAH!

Cody: WHAT!? Tyler: WOW!

Cody: OH MY GOSH!

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Santa, hit em' with a signature sign off!

Santa: Pound it and noggin.

Tyler: SEE YA!

Garrett: Hey, someone toss me that sunscreen! I'm getting roasted out here!