see the story of Facebook: a real-life evil technology company.

The Social Network

Experience the world's smartest film about the world's dullest premise

"Did you answer affirmatively when Tyler and Cameron Winklevoss

and Divya Narendra asked you to build harvard connection?"

"Did you say yes?"

In this dark Shakespearean drama about the website you're crazy aunt post minion memes on.

That uses snappy dialogue.

I deserve your attention -You have part of my attention. You have the minimum amount.

Slick directing and great performances to make a story

where young millionaires sue each other for more money feel really high stakes

What was honorship share ?dialuded? down to?

"Point zero three percent"

That's still millions you greedy a**hole! C'mon, I'd sell my kidneys for point zero three percent of Neopets

Journey to Harvard, where no one ever lets you forget.

It's Harvard.

"This is John Harvard. -We're gentlemen of Harvard."

Girls wanna get with guys who go to Harvard."

Harvard.

Harvard.

Harvard.

Harvard.

"This is Harvard."

And meet Mark Zuckerberg, a star student with a mind of a calculator, the heart of a troll

"Erica Albright's a bitch."

And the wardrobe of a comfy hobo.

He's determined to do two things with his life

Make a world respect him and make sure Jesse Eisenberg

gets every awkward Know-it-All nerd Role in Hollywood.

Take that Michael Cera! "Ha!"

Coasting off Mark's talent are a succession of hot dudes in suits, like:

Eduardo, the only Brazilian who doesn't know how to party.

"You think this is such a good idea?"

"You think maybe we shouldn't shut it down before we get into trouble?"

"You want to end the party at 11." "I'm trying to pay for the party."

Sean Parker, the man on the side who gets in the way of their bromance

And the 'Winklevii', who briefly got your hopes up that Armie Hammer had an identical twin.

Or to put it another way...

Lex Luthor dumped Spider-Man for N-Sync and pisses off the Lone Ranger

If you want to know the real story behind Facebook,

watch something else, because they're bending the truth harder than the news your uncle posts on his wall

In a film that makes up the ex-girlfriend who supposedly inspired the site.

Makes up an obsession with final clubs that tears Mark's friendships apart.

"Tell me this isn't about getting into 'The Phoenix'?"

And makes him into an awkward scowling robot where in real life

he was a normal dorky college kid. -"Within a couple of weeks

Two thirds of the school had signed up

So, at that point, my roommates are kinda like,

'you know, this is pretty cool' like whether this work at other schools."

But hey, don't let facts get in the way

I'm sure the real Sean Parker love seeing himself as a paranoid,

coked-out, cowardly, maybe sorta statutory rapist.

"How old are they, Sean?" -"It's not polite to ask." -"Sean how old are they?"

So gather round for a film that's not really about Facebook.

It's about friendship, that still nails what t's like to use the website

In this masterpiece of craft that proves Aaron Sorkin could make boring litigation exciting

"You stole our whole goddamn idea" -"Fellas..."

David Fincher could make applying for an internship look awesome.

"Welcome to Facebook."

And Trent Reznor could make rowing down a calm river feel epic

[Electronic version of "In the Hall of the Mountain King" plays]

'Man, I wish they'd make another Facebook movie', is a sentence. I never thought I'd say in this lifetime

Starring...

Jesse Eisenberg as himself

Andrew Garfield, the Brazilian Jew?

Tim, from Jurassic Park

The cloned ranger

A single shade of Gray

He's a dick who knows DOS

And all the laptops who gave their lives so David fincher could get the perfect shot.

Site club

[Chat nearly muted out by club music]

I know it's realistic and everything, but trying to understand Sorkin dialogue at a loud bar,

is like your grandma trying to understand how Facebook works.

"No, Nana, ugh, the search bar is not the same as the status update. Gah!"

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