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  • all right red light time to text and

  • shave and Whittle and flush thanks for

  • getting here so quickly

  • what I'm sorry you're in a Prius I just

  • assumed you were my over

  • I don't know what that is unaccounted be

  • and Joe uber it's like a cab accept it

  • feels like a game because it from your

  • phone anyway I'm late for a meeting can

  • i just give you twenty bucks to drop me

  • off about 20 bucks just to drive across

  • town

  • I mean I should be an overdrive tight

  • i'd like to be an older driver okay sure

  • welcome aboard alright don't need to

  • fill out a form all right yeah of course

  • named Peter Griffin criminal history

  • this section is optional i will skip

  • this and done you go

  • yeah none of this really matters all i

  • need to know is do you have a car a

  • phone and a face

  • it's my dogs cast oh and i know you

  • didn't match but I am quick to anger

  • okay great now get out there and try to

  • kiss as many ladies as you can

  • the record is 60 in a month you sir are

  • officially an uber driver I got back up

  • everybody I got where you headed to the

  • airport

  • great just a couple errands and we'll

  • get your day

  • that was one bitch of a crash

  • anyways what time's your flight it's in

  • 20 minutes oh boy I can't make it 20

  • minutes i'm gonna call you a lift me up

  • get it hope you like the offspring

  • hey what's up i'm just going to Quahog

  • stadium

  • okay would you like the AC on or the

  • windows down about both who pretty great

  • right it is it really

  • thank you just person

  • no problem hey you ever gonna hottub

  • when it's snowing outside

  • hey pal where we headed again just go

  • down this dark alley

  • what the hell stoner this is what we do

  • to / drivers in this

  • stop stop the sound of your hand again

  • it is excruciating you can't apply a

  • phone to become a cab driver is I have

  • to go back where

  • where did you get that Judd Hirsch

  • himself

  • I was a boy no more than 11 and 12 on

  • the side of the road and what I had

  • pulled up next to me said I reminded him

  • of him when he was my age I was just a

  • boy askin corn didn't know what it meant

  • course we were all husking corn back in

  • the like John and you burned my car when

  • I was telling my fake get her story

  • how have ya that's like this

all right red light time to text and

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