I imagine it's like being a podiatrist where like the whole world

is feet.

My name is Kory Stamper.

I'm an associate editor at Merriam Webster, where I write dictionary definitions,

and my new book is called “Word by Word: The Secret Life of Dictionaries.”

For a while, people would ask what I did and I would just say I work in publishing, because

the minute I said, “Oh, I write dictionaries,” the first two things out of their mouth were,

"Oh that's so cool," and, "Oh my God, I better watch what I say around you."

Which was so sad to me because that's not my job.

My job isn't to police what people say, or how people talk, or things that people

write even.

My job is to record the language and not impose some sort of order on it.

I kept my practice defining slips.

So, every definer, you practice writing dictionary definitions.

There is one in here that I kept because it was the only definition the director of defining

said, “Oh, that's pretty good,” and didn't mark up.

And that is “bird strike”, which I defined as a collision in which a bird or flock of

birds hits the engine of an aircraft.

The editorial floor is incredibly quiet.

Not just really quiet, but sort of sepulchrally quiet.

And you also know that when people are looking up, if you happen to be walking by someone's

cubicle and they're looking up and staring at nothing, you know that you absolutely should

not interrupt them.

So there's two different processes that go behind it.

The first is a daily thing, and that's called reading and marking.

And that's where editors spend some time every day basically reading sources.

And you're reading sources to find new or interesting vocabulary.

The second part is defining.

So when we revise a dictionary, we go through it A to Z,

and you take all the instances for the word you're looking up.You're matching up the

word and its contextual use with the existing dictionary definition.

Sprachgefühl is a German word that we borrowed into English.

It's a word that refers to the feeling for language.

You have to be able to look at a sentence and know that "planting out the lettuce" is

different from "planting information."

It's really sort of where you can look at the warp and weft of language and read it.

So for a word to get into the dictionary, it needs to meet three basic criteria.

The first criteria is widespread use.

If something's used in the Wall Street Journal and Vibe, then you figure that's pretty

widespread use.

The second one is it needs to have a shelf life.

Once words get into the dictionary, they tend to stay in dictionaries.

The shelf life of a word really depends.

There are other words that have very very little use for a lot of time and then suddenly

have tons of use.

The indian word korma is a great example.

It first was used in English back in the 1830s or 1840s, and it had very very very little

use, really until the 1990s when people started eating lots of Indian food.

So korma's a more recent addition to the dictionary, even though it's almost 200

years old at this point.

The third criteria is a word has to have meaningful use — which means it has to have a meaning.

The example I trot out is antidisestablishmentarianism —

“Freddy, can you spell antidisestablishmentarianism?”

“Uh...no.”

— which most people know as a long word, but it doesn't get used much in print.

It gets used as an example of a long word.

“Antidisestablishmentarianism.”

[Laughter from crowd] You want to make sure that the word has a

meaning and is not just an example of letters smushed together.

People think of English as something that needs to be defended.

It's this beautiful pristine tower...actually it's much more like a child.

It's an organic, living thing.

You bring English into being, and then the minute that it gains gross motor skills, it

goes right where you don't want it to go.

So there are two main approaches to language.

One is prescriptivism, one is descriptivism.

Prescriptivism essentially promotes the best practices of English.

Prescriptivism is, by its nature, exclusionary.

Descriptivism on the other hand, as an approach to language, it follows where language goes.

Dictionaries exist on more of the descriptivist end of the spectrum.

Dictionaries record language as it is used, not as you think it should be used.

“Irregardless.”

“Not a word.”

“Well, irregardless of that.”

Irregardless is a word that people have a specific and vehement hatred for.

Irregardless, really for about 150, 175 years has been pegged as being uneducated, hickish,

representative of people who don't speak English very well.

It's also entered into dictionaries, which just infuriates people.

It does me no good as a lexicographer to enter irregardless into the dictionary if I don't

tell you that when you use it, people are going to think you're a moron.

So all dictionaries are descriptivist and prescriptivist.

“It's too dangerous.”

What is the drama with decimate?

“With the soul sword activated, Valentine could decimate the entire downworld.”

It is a favorite of people called etymological fallicists, who believe that modern words

should only mean what they meant in their origin language.

Decimate comes from a Latin verb that means to select and kill one tenth of.

You just don't really need a word that refers to selecting and killing one tenth of all

that often.

So decimate gained what's called an extended sense, which means that people began using

it to refer to widespread devastation, or killing of a bunch of people.

They also will ignore things, like that the word stew used to mean whorehouse.

Nobody says, “I hate that we call this chunky soup stew, stew should only be used to refer

to a whorehouse.”

They want English to be pure.

And in their minds, purity means that you stick to the root word as closely as you can.

And that's fine, except that's just not how English works.

People think of English as this monolithic thing, but it's really not, it's much more

like a river.

Every dialect of English is its own current.

And all of these currents come together to make this fairly cohesive looking ribbon of

water.

But every one of those is integral to the direction of English.

Controlling water's pretty difficult.

If you say, well, you know, “Youth slang really is stupid, and there's no point in

paying attention to it,” you're actually stopping this really vital way that new words

come into English.

If you say business jargon is ugly and stupid, and no one should ever use business jargon,

I might agree with you, but that's also another important part of how words come into

English, and that's an important way that words are created.

This idea of English being a river really sort of celebrates that every single part

of the language is important for the whole.

It's all part of the same thing, you need all of it for it to survive.

I am so happy to explain what those dots in the middle of the words are.

Those dots in the middle of the words are not marking syllables.

What they are is for people who have to break a word.

So the whole word won't fit on a line, so they have to find a place to put the hyphen

and put the rest of the word.

If you walk away and that's all you remember of this, you will make every dictionary editor

the happiest person in the world.