I'd like to stick garden gnomes in this building

Yeah, I guess you would

Hi, death will find you soon

I'm not sure you'll be remembered

You're the devil

That little boy has like a thousand freckles

And everybody's all "ewwwww"

Like there's goobers on his bod

I'm done listening

You know, Ted's always kinda freaky

He eats hair

Human hair

He's the first one to say "Let's go out and eat hair!"

It's wonderful now and again

See?

Mmmm, hair, mmmm

If there's one thing our country doesn't need more of

It's goose diarrhea!

I heard you got orange rugs here

That's a lie

Hey could you cut me a rug here?

A rug?

Yeah. An orange one

No, we don't make them

I know

This one's a classic

Jordan the centipede taught me a card trick

Mmm hmm mmmm

Thank you

You got happy cheer!

Ewwww, look!

I went down to the summer camp and took a can of gasoline

Don't light the cabins on fire

I wish I couldn't, but it's too late

Ah, well doesn't that mean you go to jail?

No, because I ran away

You know what, I just love to twerk

holla, holla, holla, holla, holla, holla, holla

I've been testing out some new campaign slogans that are a little less obvious

I need a bogel for the glotch

Stop Volution

Your face isn't my face

That old man just took your spork

If you want boyfriend time, then you must be a girlfriend

I hate pervy records

Mhhaaah pfrengh!

Hmm, i wanna use that

I made a hole and then barfed on the beach

I made a hole and then barfed on the beach

I made a hole and then barfed on the beach

This great nation's like a pork pie

Juicy America!

Gabe?!

Hey, who hates cigarettes?

I do!

Hooray for you!

You know, originally Heidi wanted to marry a different fella

She wanted Herbert Spinnecki

Yeah, he was into football

Herbert was beautiful

He was just always very open and sensuous with me, you know?

Like on the weekend, he'd bring fruit and lay by the fire with me

and tell me I looked like a French model

What?!

Why'd you even tell them that?

Yeah, he's still a really close friend, the Spinnecki

I didn't know that

Mm-hhhm

He's in the kitchen right now

Wait, he's here?!

Mm-hhhm

Is he

Mmm-hhmm

What does this mean?

Yeah, whatever

At least I know she's mine

I don't wanna ask who the baby daddy

I know it's him.

Don't make us kiss now