YOLO, you only live once.

The battle cry of a generation.

This life is a precious gift.

So don't get too crazy

It's not worth the risk.

You know that we are still young.

So don't be dumb.

Don't trust anyone

'Cause you only live once.

Ugh, you only live once

That's the motto.

So take a chill pill

Ease off the throttle.

Never go to loud clubs

'Cause it's bad for your ears.

Your friends will all be sorry

When they can't hear.

And stay the hell away from drugs

'Cause they're not legal.

Then bury all your money in the backyard

Like a beagle.

'Cause you should never trust a bank

They've been known to fail.

And never travel by car, a bus

Boat or by rail.

And don't travel by plane.

And don't travel at all.

Build a bomb shelter basement

With titanium walls.

And wear titanium suits

In case pianos fall on ya.

And never go in saunas

'Cause they're crawlin' with piranhas.

And never take the stairs

'Cause they're often unsafe.

You only live once

Don't let it go to waste.

You know that we are still young

So hold off on the fun.

Cook your meat 'til it's done

'Cause you only live once.

Yeah

And here's another piece of advice:

Stay away from kids

'Cause their hair is filled with mad lice.

There's no such thing

As too much Purell.

This a cautionary tale

Word to George Orwell.

So don't 1980 force

Any plugs into sockets.

Always wear a chastity belt

And triple lock it.

Then hire a taster

Make him check your food for poison.

And if you think your mailman is a spy

Then destroy him.

No blankets or pajamas

They can choke you in your sleep.

Two words about furniture:

Killing machines.

Board your windows up

The sun is bad for your health.

And always wear a strait jacket

So you're safe from yourself.

Take no chances (no chances)

Stop freelancin' (right now)

Invest in your future

Don't dilute your finances (uh huh)

401K, make sure it's low risk

Then get some real estate (how much?)

4.2% thirty year mortgage

That's important, that's a great deal

And if you can't afford it

Don't forge it on your last bill

Renting is for suckers right now

A dependable savings

And you'll retire with money in your account.

Beast.

YOLO, say no no.

Isolate yourself

And just roll solo

Be care-folo

You oughta look out

Also stands for YOLO.

You know that we are still young.

Burn the prints off your thumbs.

Then pull out all your teeth

So you can't bite your tongue.

Only on this earth for a short time, time

So don't go outside, 'cause you don't want to die, die.

Just take our advice and hide

And scream YOLO to the sky.

You oughta look out.