[ droning ]

Come on, I'll get you one.

What?!

You keep staring at me, I'll burst one of your eyeballs.

Gorgeous. This guy's a fuckin' creep.

Woman -- Give him a break. He's new in the country.

Man -- I can see that. Did he walk here from 1985?

[ droning ]

Look at this driver, man.

It's 'cause they made the handling too realistic on this one.

It makes it too hard to steer the car.

You see what I'm sayin', there?

Cars have turned on humanity.

Except for one, my old buddy -

You bastard!

I always knew you were one of them -

Ah!

Help!

I need an ambulance!

[Ambulance Siren asserts dominance]

[ yelling ]

NPC: "People have NO manners today."

NIKO: I killed people.

NIKO: Smuggled people.

NIKO: Sold people.

NIKO: Perhaps here, things will be different.

♪ I don't see nothin' wrong ♪

[ ♪ I don't see nothing wrong ♪ ]

♪ With a little bump 'n grind ♪

[ ♪ With a little bump 'n grind ♪ ]

Dunkey -- Shit, I gotta save Roman now.

Come on, Nelly, come on.

We're gettin' out of here.

You and me, baby!

Look at Ro - look at him!

He's just casually walkin' away, piece of sh -

Hey, cops!

Look at this!

[ laughs ]

I'm stealing this now!

These are the worst cops.

'Ey Paulie, get me outta h -

NIKO: Hey Vlad, uh, the car you wanted - it's, uh -

I feel like the driving is actually getting worse somehow. [ explosions, beeping throughout]

Doesn't it feel like that?

Like, look at that, uh, that grey car there.

He didn't even use a blinker.

He turned right - he didn't even put his blinker on.

[Sound effects stop] And look at that elephant!

♪ Ginuwine - Pony ♪

I doubt he's licensed to drive a motorcycle

♪ Art Blakey - Moanin ♪

I just really hope that the carnival isn't closed, cause I'm pretty pissed right now.

MICHELLE: You know, the carnival isn't open this time of year.

MICHELLE: I-I don't know if it would pass safety regulations anyway.

MICHELLE: There's a bowling all -

[ gunfire ]

NIKO: Sorry about that, Michelle. I-I get carried away sometimes.

MICHELLE: I didn't realize you were so violent, Niko.

MICHELLE: Hey, there's a bowling alley up here. We should play.

Come on, baby, strike!

Come on!

God

DAMMIT! [ foghorn ]

Gutterball, gutterball, gutterball, gutterball, gutterball...

That's it!

[ gunshot ]

[ screaming, crashing, shark viciously murders michelle]

NIKO: I'm sorry about that, Michelle. I-I get carried away sometimes.

MICHELLE: I didn't realize you were so violent, Niko.

Oh my god Green Goblin...

Get outta here, Leonard! Can't you see I'm on a romantic date?!

Every time. [ loud gunfire ]

Can't you go fight a Spiderman or something?!

The fuck is the matter with you?!

NIKO: I'm sorry about the car, Michelle. I can get you a new one.

MICHELLE: Do you mean you'd steal one?

Yeah.

MICHELLE: Have you got caught up with the Hove Beach criminals, Niko?

[ crash ] NIKO: Forget about it.

NIKO: I'll talk to you soon.

bye

♪ What must I say ♪

♪ What must I do ♪

♪ To show how much ♪

♪ I think about freek'n you ♪