A minor celebrity

And so it only makes sense

The world would be

Obsessed with every

Single thing you do

They're running 'round

With their camcorders in the night

They lurk impatiently

In hope that they just might

See something real embarrassing

You do

The bad hair day and sweat-stained t-shirt

That's the story that

They're gonna feature

With exclusive pics

Of your flabby behind

You think you're all alone

But that's right when you'll find

A bunch of paparazzi

Popping out of nowhere

Cameras in your face

And then suddenly

You're on TMZ

You're on TMZ

Following you

When you're walking down the street

And asking stupid questions

While you're trying to eat

So you cover your face

Thinking to yourself

"Hey, isn't this creepy?"

And they're out there praying

You'll have a big meltdown

And take 'em on a little car chase

Through this whole town

They'll be there with you

When you're going to jail

First on the scene

For every wardrobe fail

You just picked up some transvestite

Seconds later

It's up on the website

Get a vegas wedding

A quickie divorce

And they'll be

Sneaking in

Snapping pictures, of course

And if they ever catch you

Picking your nose

Or stumbling down the street

On a drunken spree

You're on TMZ

Stalking you, just waiting by your front door

Trailing you through

Airport security

They're with TMZ

They're with TMZ

Oh, let me tell you

It's getting to the point

Where a famous person can't

Even get a D.U.I

Or go on a racist rant

Those guys are all around

So you really shouldn't dare

Go to every club in town

If you've lost your underwear

Seems that every single time

A star decides to shave her head

Or ram their car into a tree

They're on TMZ

If they catch you peeing in the bushes

Later on, that night

Well, I guarantee

You're on TMZ

You're on TMZ

You're on TMZ

Every single celebrity

Knows they're gonna be

There on TMZ