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  • So you let Oprah leave.

  • She left.

  • I heard s screaming through my dressing room door.

  • I was in my dressing room--

  • Ellen.

  • Yeah, I was like, Ellen.

  • I was like, where's my security?

  • Hey, girl, hey.

  • Uh-huh.

  • Yeah, Oprah left.

  • You had a business proposition for her,

  • and I forgot what it was.

  • Oh, it was about vegetables.

  • Yes, yes.

  • Tiff and O's vegetables, because I know she got--

  • I been checking out pictures and stuff and doing my research,

  • and I see she got a lot of land.

  • She got a lot of garden, right?

  • So I only got a little bit of garden.

  • My garden is in the hood.

  • So I had came up with a whole business plan,

  • right, with mostly her vegetables, and then

  • some of mine.

  • And the we just go to different farmers markets,

  • and we just, you know, go ahead and do our thing.

  • So I got the business.

  • See how she got-- she got more vegetables.

  • She probably got actual farmers working at hers.

  • [LAUGHING] [? More ?] than farmers.

  • It's just me, and my brother at mine.

  • But we go to different farmers markets across the country.

  • Right?

  • Right.

  • And we bring our vegetables, and we set up--

  • Tiff and O's.

  • Tiff and O's.

  • I like that.

  • Yeah, because I'm probably going to be doing most of the work.

  • Uh-huh.

  • [LAUGHING]

  • All right.

  • So your name comes first.

  • Yeah, my name's first.

  • Because I feel like she's not going to show up.

  • Uh-huh.

  • I see.

  • Did you write to her?

  • Have you written to her?

  • OK.

  • So let me tell you.

  • OK.

  • So back in the day, when I was a professional extra and photo

  • double--

  • Uh-huh.

  • Because you know, I didn't just come out of nowhere.

  • No.

  • I've been in this business.

  • No, you're an extra.

  • Walking around in the back, smiling.

  • Uh-huh.

  • And I did this movie called Their Eyes Were Watching God,

  • and I was an extra.

  • And it was a movie that Oprah was producing.

  • And she had walked by.

  • And I was making all the other extras laugh and stuff.

  • I was telling jokes.

  • And she was like, you're a very funny young lady.

  • I was like, [VOCALISED GASPING]

  • Yeah.

  • And she was like, what's your name?

  • I said, my name is Tiffany Haddish,

  • and I'm a standup comedian.

  • And she said, well, keep me updated on your career.

  • Write me.

  • Let me know what you got going on.

  • I love comedy.

  • I say, oh, yeah.

  • I know.

  • I know her.

  • And so I would write her, right?

  • Right.

  • And I never got any reply.

  • Nothing?

  • And I think it's because there was a lot of misspellings

  • or something.

  • Because you know, I wasn't a good reader

  • at that time, so definitely not a good writer.

  • I see.

  • But I'm better now.

  • Well, she--

  • But she never wrote back.

  • I wonder why.

  • Let's ask her why she didn't write back.

  • Oprah, why didn't you write back?

  • I didn't write back because--

  • [CHEERING]

  • [SCREAMING]

  • I love you.

  • Oh, oh, oh.

  • Hey, babe.

  • She didn't leave.

  • Sit down.

  • Sit down.

  • You didn't leave.

  • Of course I didn't leave.

  • I'm so happy for you, girl.

  • So this is the deal.

  • I love you.

  • Oh.

  • [LAUGHING]

  • You are so, so, so good.

  • Thank you.

  • You're so, so, so-- come on.

  • You told me that before in a dream.

  • You know, it's true.

  • It's true.

  • You know, I ask questions, and I answer them in your voice.

  • Really?

  • Yes.

  • Oh.

  • You done told me right so many times.

  • I'm so proud of you.

  • I'm so proud of you.

  • I'm so proud of you.

  • [CRYING]

  • No, so proud of you.

  • This is big.

  • This is big.

  • You know what?

  • I lost the letter.

  • I never made--

  • But I sent you, like, six.

  • [LAUGHING]

  • Everybody knows on my team--

  • I love her.

  • Everybody on my team--

  • I don't even write people letters.

  • No, this is the thing.

  • Everybody on my team knows, like I used

  • to have blue cards going out.

  • They know, don't give me the blue cards because I'll

  • stop in the bathroom, I leave them there, I'll lay them down.

  • So never send a letter to me.

  • I'll tell you who to send it to.

  • OK.

  • Should I write Gayle?

  • Cuz I sent her one.

  • You sent her one too?

  • Well, how you doing?

  • I'm so happy.

  • I'm good.

  • It's nothing but opportunity in the world right now.

  • Yes, yes, yes.

  • Opportunity in the world right now.

  • You know, when I woke up today, I just

  • knew it was gonna be magical.

  • It is, it is.

  • I knew it.

  • I looked at myself in the mirror.

  • I said, girl, today is going to be a magical day.

  • Yes.

  • And so the Tiff and O plan, the Tiff and O plan--

  • Yes.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • I know--

  • I have--

  • I hate to interrupt.

  • Listen-- we're going to take a break.

  • And when we come back, we're doing a cooking segment with

  • Tiff and O's.

  • Yes.

  • And I'll be there too.

  • OK.

  • All right?

  • I brought vegetables.

  • We'll be back.

  • You did?

So you let Oprah leave.

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