JESSE: Oh shit.

DUNKEY: It's the easiest one.

JESSE: I don't want to get crushed.

JESSE: Come on.

DUNKEY: It's the first level!

JESSE: [Frustrated] NOOO!

JESSE: I play with a keyboard; it's really hard.

DUNKEY: There you go, there you go.

DUNKEY: Fuck this.

[Dunkey laughing]

JESSE: WHAT?!

[continued laughter]

DUNKEY: BONK!

[even more laughing]

DUNKEY: BANK!

[too much laughing]

JESSE: This is fucking bullshit.

JESSE: Fucking LET ME OUT!

[laughing]

JESSE: Are you fucking kidding me?

DUNKEY: Jesse just quit out.

SKY: Why?

DUNKEY: I don't know, I was helping him win and he just, he quit.

SKY: Did he get mad?

[Dunkey laughing]

JESSE: Can you fucking stop?!

DUNKEY: I won't do it again. I won't do it again.

DUNKEY: Ha!

[Dunkey laughing]

DUNKEY: All right, all right, I'll stop.

DUNKEY: You want me to stop?

JESSE: Yeah.

DUNKEY: OK.

DUNKEY: Too bad.

JESSE: OHH MY GOD

[Dunkey laughing]

DUNKEY: One second, man. Leah wants to play, OK?

[Leah and Dunkey laughing hysterically]

JESSE: Can you fucking stop?

DUNKEY: [whispering] Wait for Jesse to beat the whole thing, then jump on his head, OK?

LEAH: [whispering] OK.

[muffled laughing]

JESSE: I can hear what you guys are saying.

SKY: God dammit, Jason.

SKY: Just beat the level.

DUNKEY: C'mon man.

DUNKEY: If I beat the level, what do you learn by that? You know?

SKY: Oh my god, it's been so long!

DUNKEY: It's only been two and a half hours.

DUNKEY: On this specific level.

DUNKEY: You got this, c'mon.

DUNKEY: You almost got it.

DUNKEY: There you go.

DUNKEY: Here, let me show you how to do it. Let me show you.

[Dunkey laughing]

SKY: Beat the fucking level, or so help me god.

DUNKEY: C'mon, you got this.

JESSE: Come the fuck on, dude.

DUNKEY: You got this.

DUNKEY: Come on.

DUNKEY: You know how to do that.

DUNKEY: There you go -

DUNKEY: Ooh, there you go, c'mon -

DUNKEY: You got this!

DUNKEY: Oh, look at you! You did it!

DUNKEY: You did it.

DUNKEY: There you go -

DUNKEY: You're fucking garbage.

DUNKEY: You're fucking -

JESSE: Shut the fuck up!

JESSE: All right, I know what to do for the blade now.

JESSE: See? Watch.

JESSE: If I start this time, it goes across...

JESSE: OK -

JESSE: OK!

JESSE: You see? All, right I'm starting to get it. DUNKEY: You see?

DUNKEY: Now you're starting to get it.

DUNKEY: There you go.

DUNKEY: Now you got it.

DUNKEY: Ah, there you go.

DUNKEY: What are you doing?!

DUNKEY: C'mon!

JESSE: I'm trying!

DUNKEY: What are you even...

DUNKEY: You're just dying to the first thing!

JESSE: Can you just fucking go right?!

DUNKEY: You almost have it. I swear to god.

DUNKEY: You're so close.

JESSE: Oh my gooooood.

DUNKEY: Just c'mon.

SKY: Oh -

SKY: Oh!

SKY: WINWINWINWINWINWINWIN

SKY: JASON

SKY: Jason.

SKY:What

SKY: The fuck?!

SKY: GOD.

SKY: Stop!

SKY: Nooooo!

SKY: Jason!

SKY: Fuck you.

JESSE: All right, c'mon.

DUNKEY: Turbo mode:

DUNKEY: Activate.

DUNKEY: Here I go.

[exciting music playing]

DUNKEY: I'm coming.

DUNKEY: Engage turbo thrusters.

JESSE: Come the fuck on!

DUNKEY: Jet mode enabled.

JESSE: All right, c'mon.

DUNKEY: Here I go.

DUNKEY: Mega boosters online.

DUNKEY: Here I come.

JESSE: Come the fuck on.

DUNKEY: I have now entered warp speed.

JESSE: Jesus fucking -

[Jesse groans]

DUNKEY: Here I go.

DUNKEY: Super mode - [ music stops ]

DUNKEY: Are you kidding me?

DUNKEY: Now I gotta start all over again.

[music restarts]

[Jesse laughing]

DUNKEY: You're so fucked when I get over there.

PBAT: Oh, what the fuck? It makes you put in my CD key?

DUNKEY: Yep. It's one of those games.

PBAT: God fucking -

PBAT: Why?

DUNKEY: It's the only game with a CD key . PBAT: That's so stupid.

DUNKEY: There's no resolutions, either.

PBAT: Is there at least controller -

PBAT: Yeah, there's controller support.

DUNKEY: There's no controls.

PBAT: There's no controls? [Laughing]

DUNKEY: OK, this is the tutorial.

PBAT: Fuck you! Let's fucking -

DUNKEY: I can jump on your head whenever I want. PBAT: JASON!

PBAT: God, I can't even -

[both laughing]

PBAT: Fuck you.

PBAT: Let me kill you. This is bullshit.

DUNKEY: Gotcha! [laughing]

PBAT: How the fuck do you keep getting it?

DUNKEY: I'm good at this game.

PBAT: Also why do I have, like, a fucking banana on my...

PBAT: Why do I have a banana peel?

DUNKEY: How did you get a banana?

PBAT: What is this supposed to be? Do you see it in my hand?

DUNKEY: That's a like a, um...

PBAT: Like a yellow banana peel?

DUNKEY: It's like a little -

DUNKEY: You piece of shit!

DUNKEY: Damn!

PBAT: Oh fuck, I didn't see that.

[ victorious music playing ] DUNKEY: I put your music on man.

DUNKEY: C'mon.

DUNKEY: Your favorite jam.

DUNKEY: You can do this!

DUNKEY: There you go!

DUNKEY: There you go! C'mon!

DUNKEY: Bring it home.

DUNKEY: You got this! C'mon man.

JESSE: All right, I do got it.

JESSE: Gotta chill out before I -

DUNKEY: Don't get nervous.

JESSE: OK.

[music stops]

[frustrated screaming]

DUNKEY: OK, Dion.

PBAT: Go.

DUNKEY: You distract the bullets...

PBAT: Jason, go!

DUNKEY: Meanwhile, I'll sneak past. PBAT: I'm distracting them, move!

PBAT: Move!

PBAT: I can't... I can't keep... I can't keep doing this. It's im...fuck...

PBAT: Go!

PBAT: Get over the thing! DUNKEY: OK, I'm ready.

DUNKEY: Here I go.

PBAT: Oh my god.

PBAT: Gotta go down... DUNKEY: Now be careful!

PBAT: Up, around... DUNKEY: Watch out for the hand.

PBAT: What hand?

PBAT: I don't see a hand!

DUNKEY: The hand, you got to watch out for the hand.

PBAT: What hand, J?!

DUNKEY: Gotta juke it out.

PBAT: I don't see a hand!

DUNKEY: Juke the hand out.

DUNKEY: That hand.

PBAT: Goddammit.

DUNKEY: And... dead.

JESSE: Don't say anything!

DUNKEY: And...

DUNKEY: Dead.

DUNKEY: Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd...

DUNKEY: Dead.

DUNKEY: And dead.

DUNKEY: And dea-

DUNKEY: Oh my god! You can do this!

DUNKEY: C'mon man!

DUNKEY: You're right at the finish line!

DUNKEY: Just bring it home.

DUNKEY: You got this!

JESSE: YEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH

DUNKEY: But watch out for the red guy.