is I would start with a simple request.

我原本想做的是

I'd like all of you

我會開始一個簡單的要求,

to pause for a moment,

我想你們所有人

you wretched weaklings,

暫時停下來,

and take stock of your miserable existence.

你們這些可憐的弱者,

(Laughter)

點算一下過去難過的經驗,

Now that was the advice

笑聲

that St. Benedict gave his rather startled followers

現在, 這是一個

in the fifth century.

St. Benedict 在公元五世紀的時候

It was the advice that I decided to follow myself

給他的追隨者的建議.

when I turned 40.

這也是一個在我四十歲時

Up until that moment, I had been that classic corporate warrior --

我決定追隨的建議。

I was eating too much, I was drinking too much,

在四十歲之前, 我是一個典型的業界精英---

I was working too hard

我吃得太多, 喝得太多,

and I was neglecting the family.

工作得太忙,

And I decided that I would try

以及我忽略了家庭。

and turn my life around.

於是, 我決定嘗試

In particular, I decided

把我的生活來個徹底的改變。

I would try to address the thorny issue

尤其是, 我決定

of work-life balance.

我去回應那個最棘手的問題

So I stepped back from the workforce,

就是工作和生活的平衡。

and I spent a year at home

於是,我從工作中退下來,

with my wife and four young children.

我花了一年時間在家

But all I learned about work-life balance

和我的太太及四個孩子相處。

from that year

但我在那一年

was that I found it quite easy

所學習到的

to balance work and life

是我發現當我根本不用工作的時候

when I didn't have any work.

工作和生活的平衡

(Laughter)

是很容易解決的

Not a very useful skill,

笑聲

especially when the money runs out.

這不是一個有用的方法,

So I went back to work,

尤其是當錢慢慢用盡。

and I've spent these seven years since

所以我回到工作,

struggling with, studying

我用了七年的時候去

and writing about work-life balance.

掙扎, 學習

And I have four observations

以及寫作有關工作和生活平衡。

I'd like to share with you today.

這樣, 我有了四個心得

The first is:

想今天跟大家一起分享

if society's to make any progress on this issue,

第一是

we need an honest debate.

如果社會需要在這議題上有所進展

But the trouble is

我們需要一個誠實的討論。

so many people talk so much rubbish

但問題是

about work-life balance.

太多人對工作和生活的平衡

All the discussions about flexi-time

表達了毫無意義的言論.

or dress-down Fridays

所有關於彈性上班時間

or paternity leave

或是星期五穿得輕鬆

only serve to mask the core issue,

或是父親的待產假等

which is

都只是把核心問題模糊了,

that certain job and career choices

這是

are fundamentally incompatible

有一定特定的工作及職業種類

with being meaningfully engaged

是基本上並不適合

on a day-to-day basis

恒常地全情投入的

with a young family.

以每天工作的形式投入的,

Now the first step in solving any problem

當你有一個年輕家庭時。

is acknowledging the reality of the situation you're in.

現在, 解決問題的第一步

And the reality of the society that we're in

是確認你現實的處境。

is there are thousands and thousands

以及現實的社會處境

of people out there

這是有千萬

leading lives of quiet, screaming desperation,

的人在這裡

where they work long, hard hours

過著一些令人沮喪的生活,

at jobs they hate

他們長時間努力的

to enable them to buy things they don't need

在做一份自己也討厭的工作

to impress people they don't like.

令他們可以去買一些其實自己並不真正需要的東西

(Laughter)

去討好一些自己其實不喜歡的人。

(Applause)

笑聲

It's my contention that going to work on Friday in jeans and [a] T-shirt

掌聲

isn't really getting to the nub of the issue.

我的論點是, 星期五穿T 恤牛仔褲

(Laughter)

並沒有處理問題的核心。

The second observation I'd like to make

笑聲

is we need to face the truth

第二個觀察是, 我認為

that governments and corporations

我們需要面對真相

aren't going to solve this issue for us.

政府和大型企業

We should stop looking outside.

並不準備去為我們解決這些問題。

It's up to us as individuals

我們應該停止外望;

to take control and responsibility

這是我們個人

for the type of lives that we want to lead.

去控制和負責任

If you don't design your life,

為我們想為的生活而爭取。

someone else will design it for you,

如果你不計畫你的人生,

and you may just not like

那麼別人便會代你去設計這一切,

their idea of balance.

可能你並不喜歡這個

It's particularly important --

平衡的概念。

this isn't on the World Wide Web, is it? I'm about to get fired --

最重要的是-----

it's particularly important

這不是在互聯網, 當我差不多快要給別人裁掉--

that you never put the quality of your life

最重要的是

in the hands of a commercial corporation.

你不要把你的生活質素

Now I'm not talking here just about the bad companies --

交到商業企業的手裡。

the "abattoirs of the human soul," as I call them.

我說的不只是那些壞企業----

(Laughter)

我稱他們為人類靈魂的屠場。

I'm talking about all companies.

笑聲

Because commercial companies

我是說 所有的企業。

are inherently designed

因為商業公司

to get as much out of you [as]

是天生設計成

they can get away with.

去搾取你的所有

It's in their nature; it's in their DNA;

而同時逃避責任.

it's what they do --

這是他們的本性, 是他們的基因,

even the good, well-intentioned companies.

這是他們所做的---

On the one hand,

即使是好的, 有良心的公司。

putting childcare facilities in the workplace

一方面,

is wonderful and enlightened.

把照顧幼兒 的設備放在工作間

On the other hand, it's a nightmare --

是很好和開明的

it just means you spend more time at the bloody office.

但另一方面, 也是一個惡夢

We have to be responsible

這代表你需要花更多的時間在這血腥的工作間

for setting and enforcing

我們要負責

the boundaries that we want in our life.

為設定及持守

The third observation is

我們生活的界限

we have to be careful

第三個觀察是

with the time frame that we choose

我們需要考慮

upon which to judge our balance.

究竟我們怎樣去選擇那個時間框架

Before I went back to work

去衡量自己的生活是否平衡

after my year at home,

在我回到工作之前

I sat down

我過了一年在家的日子之後,

and I wrote out

我坐下來

a detailed, step-by-step description

我寫下

of the ideal balanced day

一個很詳盡的, 一步一步的描述

that I aspired to.

關於我渴望的理想

And it went like this:

平衡生活日程

wake up well rested

它應該是這樣的:

after a good night's sleep.

充份的休息之後

Have sex.

精神的醒來

Walk the dog.

有性生活。

Have breakfast with my wife and children.

和小狗散步。

Have sex again.

和太太及孩子共進早餐。

(Laughter)

再有性。

Drive the kids to school on the way to the office.

笑聲

Do three hours' work.

上班途中開車送孩子上學。

Play a sport with a friend at lunchtime.

工作三小時。

Do another three hours' work.

午飯時間和朋友做運動。

Meet some mates in the pub for an early evening drink.

另外再工作三小時。

Drive home for dinner

和一些朋友在酒吧喝點東西。

with my wife and kids.

開車回家晚飯

Meditate for half an hour.

和太太, 孩子在一起。

Have sex.

靜修半小時。

Walk the dog. Have sex again.

有性。

Go to bed.

和小狗散步, 再有一次性。

(Applause)

上床睡覺。

How often do you think I have that day?

掌聲

(Laughter)

你想我究竟多久才有一天這樣的日子

We need to be realistic.

笑聲

You can't do it all in one day.

我們需要現實一點。

We need to elongate the time frame

你不能在一天內做了所有這些東西。

upon which we judge the balance in our life,

我們需要去拉長我們的時間框架

but we need to elongate it

才可以評定 我們的生活是否平衡。

without falling into the trap

但我們需要拉長時間

of the "I'll have a life when I retire,

而不致墮入

when my kids have left home,

那個: "當我 退休之後, 我的生活是

when my wife has divorced me, my health is failing,

當我的孩子獨立,

I've got no mates or interests left."

當我的妻子跟我離婚, 而我的健康也衰退,

(Laughter)

我沒有朋友, 也沒有興趣。"

A day is too short; "after I retire" is too long.

笑聲

There's got to be a middle way.

一天是太短, 但退休後的時間框架卻是太長

A fourth observation:

這應該找著一個中間點

We need to approach balance

第四個觀察

in a balanced way.

我們應該去接近平衡

A friend came to see me last year --

以一個平衡的方法。

and she doesn't mind me telling this story -- a friend came to see me last year

去年, 我有一個朋友跟我見面---

and said, "Nigel, I've read your book.

她並不介意我講這個故事---去年有一個朋友跟我見面

And I realize that my life is completely out of balance.

她說: Nigel, 我 看過你的書

It's totally dominated by work.

我發現我的生活是完全並不平衡。

I work 10 hours a day; I commute two hours a day.

我被工作佔據了。

All of my relationships have failed.

我一天工作十小時, 交通時間兩小時。

There's nothing in my life

我的所有人際關係都是失敗。

apart from my work.

我的人生沒有餘下什麼

So I've decided to get a grip and sort it out.

除了我的工作之外

So I joined a gym."

於是, 我決定去要鎮靜一下, 以及解決問題。

(Laughter)

於是我參加了健體班。

Now I don't mean to mock,

笑聲

but being a fit 10-hour-a-day office rat

現在, 我不是想嘲笑她,

isn't more balanced; it's more fit.

但當在辦公室已經操練了十小時的老鼠

(Laughter)

這個健體班是不是更平衡, 更操練。

Lovely though physical exercise may be,

笑聲

there are other parts to life --

可愛地, 雖然運動可能

there's the intellectual side; there's the emotional side;

是生活的其 他部份。

there's the spiritual side.

但這裡有思想的部份, 也是情感的部份,

And to be balanced,

也有靈性的部份。

I believe we have to attend

需要平衡的,

to all of those areas --

我相信我們需要去關注

not just do 50 stomach crunches.

這當中的所有範圍----

Now that can be daunting.

而不只是做五十下仰卧起坐。

Because people say, "Bloody hell mate, I haven't got time to get fit.

這可能會讓人氣餒的。

You want me to go to church and call my mother."

因為人們常說: 可怕的地獄朋友, 我沒有去健身

And I understand.

你想我去教堂還是打電話給我的媽媽。

I truly understand how that can be daunting.

這個我明白。

But an incident that happened a couple of years ago

我真實的明白這些怎樣令人氣餒。

gave me a new perspective.

但數年前發生的一件事

My wife, who is somewhere in the audience today,

卻給了我一個新的角度。

called me up at the office

我的太太, 她今天也在聽眾當中,

and said, "Nigel, you need to pick our youngest son" --

打電話到我的辦公室

Harry -- "up from school."

說: Nigel, 你需要接最小的兒子

Because she had to be somewhere else with the other three children for that evening.

哈利放學。

So I left work an hour early that afternoon

因為她那天要跟另外三個孩子到其他地方。

and picked Harry up at the school gates.

於是, 我那天早點離開公司

We walked down to the local park,

接在學校門外接哈利。

messed around on the swings, played some silly games.

我們在附近的公園走了一陣子,

I then walked him up the hill to the local cafe,

玩一些韆鞦之類的無聊遊戲。

and we shared a pizza for two,

跟著, 我和他走上小山去喝下午茶,

then walked down the hill to our home,

我們共吃一份意大利薄餅,

and I gave him his bath

跟著我們走下山回家,

and put him in his Batman pajamas.

我給他洗澡

I then read him a chapter

給他穿上了蝙蝠俠睡衣。

of Roald Dahl's "James and the Giant Peach."

跟著, 我給他讀了一個章節的

I then put him to bed, tucked him in,

Roald Dahl 的"占利和巨大桃子"的書。

gave him a kiss on his forehead and said, "Goodnight, mate,"

於是, 我安排他上床睡覺,

and walked out of his bedroom.

我吻了他的前額說: "晚安, 老弟!"

As I was walking out of his bedroom,

走出了他的睡房。

he said, "Dad?" I went, "Yes, mate?"

當我正走出去的時候,

He went, "Dad, this has been the best day

他說: "爸?" 我說: "怎樣, 老弟?"

of my life, ever."

他說: "爸, 這是我有生以來

I hadn't done anything,

最好的一天。"

hadn't taken him to Disney World or bought him a Playstation.

我沒有做些什麼,

Now my point is

沒有帶他到迪士尼樂園, 或是給他買部playstation 遊戲機。

the small things matter.

現在, 我想說的是

Being more balanced

小事才是重要。

doesn't mean dramatic upheaval in your life.

要想做到更平衡

With the smallest investment

並不表示要剎時間提昇你的生活。

in the right places,

用最小的投資

you can radically transform the quality of your relationships

在適當的地方,

and the quality of your life.

你可以根本地轉化你的關係

Moreover, I think,

以及你生活的質素。

it can transform society.

還有, 我想

Because if enough people do it,

這還可以轉化社會。

we can change society's definition of success

因為假如有足够的人去做,

away from the moronically simplistic notion

我們甚至可以改變社會對成功的定義

that the person with the most money when he dies wins,

成功不只是一個簡化了的概念

to a more thoughtful and balanced definition

即成功只是追求人死的時候, 要有更多的錢

of what a life well lived looks like.

而是去思考一個更有深度和多面性的定義

And that, I think,

關於活得好的生命應該如何。

is an idea worth spreading.

這樣, 我想

(Applause)

也是一個值得宣揚的意念。