souls and bodies packed into a Texas church

我們身在那裡

on the last night of our lives.

靈魂和身體全塞在一間德州的教堂

Packed into a room just like this,

度過我們生命的最後一晚

but with creaky wooden pews draped in worn-down red fabric,

擠在一個像這樣的房間

with an organ to my left and a choir at my back

但老舊的木長凳上 蓋著的是破損的紅布

and a baptism pool built into the wall behind them.

而我左方是架管風琴 後方有唱詩班

A room like this, nonetheless.

唱詩班後面的牆後是個受洗池

With the same great feelings of suspense,

儘管在這樣的空間

the same deep hopes for salvation,

大家還是有著一樣強烈的信念

the same sweat in the palms

一樣打從心底地等待著救贖

and the same people in the back not paying attention.

手掌心同樣冒著汗

(Laughter)

而坐在後排的人也一樣心不在焉

This was December 31, 1999,

（笑聲）

the night of the Second Coming of Christ,

那是 1999 年的 12 月 31 日

and the end of the world as I knew it.

是耶穌再臨的夜晚

I had turned 12 that year

也是我所認知的末日

and had reached the age of accountability.

我那年才 12 歲

And once I stopped complaining

剛到了問責的年紀 （指開始承擔原罪，對神負責）

about how unfair it was that Jesus would return

而當我停止抱怨

as soon as I had to be accountable for all that I had done,

在我剛開始問責

I figured I had better get my house in order very quickly.

耶穌就將再臨是多麼的不公平時

So I went to church as often as I could.

我意識到我得趕快振作起來

I listened for silence as anxiously as one might listen for noise,

所以我盡可能地去教堂

trying to be sure that the Lord hadn't pulled a fast one on me

我專注並心焦地聆聽著靜默 如人感受著風吹草動般

and decided to come back early.

我試著確定耶和華並不是在捉弄我

And just in case he did,

而選擇這麼早就再臨

I built a backup plan,

而如果祂真的選擇這麼早再臨

by reading the "Left Behind" books that were all the rage at the time.

我還有個備案

And I found in their pages

曾經紅極一時的書《末日迷蹤》

that if I was not taken in the rapture at midnight,

裡頭告訴我

I had another shot.

如果我沒有在子夜時分被送到天堂

All I had to do was avoid taking the mark of the beast,

我就有機會賭一把

fight off demons, plagues and the Antichrist himself.

全部要做的就是避免拿到獸之印記

It would be hard --

並打退惡魔和反基督教者

(Laughter)

這可能有難度

but I knew I could do it.

（笑聲）

(Laughter)

但我確信我做得到

But planning time was over now.

（笑聲）

It was 11:50pm.

我已經沒時間計畫了

We had 10 minutes left,

已經晚上 11:50

and my pastor called us out of the pews and down to the altar

我們只剩 10 分鐘

because he wanted to be praying when midnight struck.

牧師叫大家起身並到壇前

So every faction of the congregation

因為他想在子夜那時祈禱

took its place.

所以眾教徒

The choir stayed in the choir stand,

各就定位

the deacons and their wives --

唱詩班留在原位

or the Baptist Bourgeoisie as I like to call them --

而副祭們和他們的老婆

(Laughter)

我比較喜歡叫他們 浸信會的中產階級

took first position in front of the altar.

（笑聲）

You see, in America,

則坐在壇前第一排

even the Second Coming of Christ has a VIP section.

如你所見，在美國

(Laughter)

就算耶穌再臨也有 VIP 區

(Applause)

（笑聲）

And right behind the Baptist Bourgeoisie

（掌聲）

were the elderly --

而在這群中產階級的後一排

these men and women whose young backs had been bent under hot suns

是長者們

in the cotton fields of East Texas,

這群男女年輕時 在東德州的烈日下彎著腰

and whose skin seemed to be burnt a creaseless noble brown,

在棉花田裡工作

just like the clay of East Texas,

他們的皮膚被炙成了平滑高雅的棕色

and whose hopes and dreams for what life might become

就如同東德州的泥土

outside of East Texas

離開東德州過好生活

had sometimes been bent and broken

這樣的希望和夢想

even further than their backs.

已經殘破不堪

Yes, these men and women were the stars of the show for me.

甚於他們的背

They had waited their whole lives for this moment,

是的，這群男女 對我來說是今天的主角

just as their medieval predecessors had longed for the end of the world,

他們等了一輩子就為了這一刻

and just as my grandmother waited for the Oprah Winfrey Show

猶如中世紀的先人期待末日

to come on Channel 8 every day at 4 o'clock.

也像是我奶奶每天 4 點

And as she made her way to the altar,

切到第 8 台等歐普拉的秀一樣

I snuck right in behind her,

當我奶奶走向壇前

because I knew for sure

我偷偷尾隨在她身後

that my grandmother was going to heaven.

因為我確知

And I thought that if I held on to her hand during this prayer,

我奶奶會去天堂

I might go right on with her.

我想，如果我在禱告時握住她的手

So I held on

我就能跟她一起去

and I closed my eyes

所以我緊握著手

to listen,

閉上雙眼

to wait.

聆聽

And the prayers got louder.

等待

And the shouts of response to the call of the prayer

禱告聲越來越大

went up higher even still.

此起彼落的呼聲

And the organ rolled on in to add the dirge.

使禱告聲更為高亢

And the heat came on to add to the sweat.

管風琴也加入彈頌哀歌

And my hand gripped firmer,

握熱的手心則冒著汗

so I wouldn't be the one left in the field.

我的手緊握

My eyes clenched tighter

以免被留在凡間

so I wouldn't see the wheat being separated from the chaff.

我的雙眼緊閉

And then a voice rang out above us:

這樣才看不到麥子從糠中被分離

"Amen."

接著是一聲：

It was over.

「阿門」

I looked at the clock.

一切都結束了

It was after midnight.

我看看時鐘

I looked at the elder believers

已經過了 12 點

whose savior had not come,

我看向那群長者

who were too proud to show any signs of disappointment,

他們的救世主沒來

who had believed too much and for too long

他們因為驕傲而沒露出一絲的失望

to start doubting now.

他們相信得太深太久

But I was upset on their behalf.

如今也未曾質疑信仰

They had been duped,

我對他們的反應感到心煩意亂

hoodwinked, bamboozled,

他們被騙了

and I had gone right along with them.

被欺瞞、被哄騙

I had prayed their prayers,

而我竟跟他們一起

I had yielded not to temptation as best I could.

我跟著禱告

I had dipped my head not once, but twice

我試著不被誘惑

in that snot-inducing baptism pool.

我也不只一次，而是兩度

I had believed.

把頭浸入那讓人流鼻涕的受洗池

Now what?

我曾深信不疑

I got home just in time to turn on the television

現在呢？

and watch Peter Jennings announce the new millennium

我及時回家打開電視

as it rolled in around the world.

看彼得．詹寧斯宣告

It struck me that it would have been strange anyway,

世界各地前後到來的千禧年

for Jesus to come back again and again

我突然意識到一件事

based on the different time zones.

耶穌在不同時區不停地再臨

(Laughter)

這樣的話太詭異了

And this made me feel even more ridiculous --

（笑聲）

hurt, really.

而這讓我覺得荒謬

But there on that night, I did not stop believing.

心很痛，真的

I just believed a new thing:

但我不是在那晚就不再相信

that it was possible not to believe.

我只是相信了一件新的事情：

It was possible the answers I had were wrong,

一個人也可以選擇不相信

that the questions themselves were wrong.

可能我的答案是錯的

And now, where there was once a mountain of certitude,

而問題本身也可能是錯的

there was, running right down to its foundation,

只要有一座代表確信的山峰

a spring of doubt,

就會有一條代表懷疑的小溪

a spring that promised rivers.

而小溪往山腳流去

I can trace the whole drama of my life

終會匯聚成河流

back to that night in that church

我可以將我的人生回溯到

when my savior did not come for me;

那晚的教堂

when the thing I believed most certainly

救世主並沒有前來的那晚

turned out to be, if not a lie,

當我所相信的事物很明顯地

then not quite the truth.

就算不說是個謊言

And even though most of you prepared for Y2K in a very different way,

也不能說是事實的時候

I'm convinced that you are here

即便在座絕大多數可能 以不同的方式面對千禧年

because some part of you has done the same thing that I have done

但我相信仍有人跟我一樣

since the dawn of this new century,

在這個新世紀的破曉時分

since my mother left and my father stayed away

跟我做了一樣的事

and my Lord refused to come.

自從我母親的離世 與父親的離去

And I held out my hand,

以及主拒絕前來

reaching for something to believe in.

我伸出我的手

I held on when I arrived at Yale at 18,

試著探觸、 尋找一個能讓我相信的東西

with the faith that my journey from Oak Cliff, Texas

我 18 歲時進了耶魯大學

was a chance to leave behind all the challenges I had known,

心想離開了德州的奧克利夫

the broken dreams and broken bodies I had seen.

就能夠將我所知的困難

But when I found myself back home one winter break,

還有殘破的夢想、身形拋諸腦後

with my face planted in the floor,

但當我寒假回家

my hands tied behind my back

臉被壓在地上

and a burglar's gun pressed to my head,

手被綁在背後

I knew that even the best education couldn't save me.

而竊賊的槍抵著我的腦門時

I held on when I showed up at Lehman Brothers

我知道即使最好的教育也救不了我

as an intern in 2008.

2008 年當我在雷曼兄弟

(Laughter)

當實習生時也在尋找

So hopeful --

（笑聲）

(Laughter)

我充滿希望──

that I called home to inform my family

（笑聲）

that we'd never be poor again.

我打回家告訴家人

(Laughter)

我們不會再貧困了

But as I witnessed this temple of finance

（笑聲）

come crashing down before my eyes,

但我親眼見證金融聖殿

I knew that even the best job couldn't save me.

在我面前坍塌

I held on when I showed up in Washington DC as a young staffer,

我知道即便最好的工作也救不了我

who had heard a voice call out from Illinois,

我在華盛頓特區當年輕職員時尋找

saying, "It's been a long time coming,

聽到來自伊利諾州的聲音

but in this election, change has come to America."

說：「大家等待很久了，

But as the Congress ground to a halt

但在這次的選舉，美國將會改變。」

and the country ripped at the seams

但國會仍停滯不前

and hope and change began to feel like a cruel joke,

而國家分崩離析

I knew that even the political second coming

希望與改變對我來說 像是個殘酷的玩笑

could not save me.

我知道就算政治重來

I had knelt faithfully at the altar of the American Dream,

也救不了我

praying to the gods of my time

我虔誠地跪在美國夢的祭壇前

of success,

向上天祈禱屬於我的

and money,

成就

and power.

金錢

But over and over again,

和權力

midnight struck, and I opened my eyes

但一再地

to see that all of these gods were dead.

子夜來臨，而我張眼

And from that graveyard,

見到所有的神皆已死

I began the search once more,

而從那個墓園

not because I was brave,

我決定再次尋找

but because I knew that I would either believe

不是因為我很勇敢

or I would die.

而是我知道我只能選擇相信

So I took a pilgrimage to yet another mecca,

不然就是死亡

Harvard Business School --

所以我啟程 向我心目中的麥加朝聖

(Laughter)

哈佛商學院

this time, knowing that I could not simply accept the salvation

（笑聲）

that it claimed to offer.

這次，我知道我不能單單接受

No, I knew there'd be more work to do.

它們宣稱會提供的救贖

The work began in the dark corner of a crowded party,

不，我知道我還有更多事情要做

in the late night of an early, miserable Cambridge winter,

一切開始於一個熱鬧派對的黑暗角落

when three friends and I asked a question

在劍橋初冬，一個令人憂愁的夜晚

that young folks searching for something real have asked

三個朋友和我問了一個問題

for a very long time:

那是作為年輕小夥子 尋求真諦

"What if we took a road trip?"

一直以來會問的問題

(Laughter)

「如果我們去公路旅行怎麼樣？」

We didn't know where'd we go or how we'd get there,

（笑聲）

but we knew we had to do it.

我們不知道我們的目的地 也不知道怎麼去

Because all our lives we yearned, as Jack Kerouac wrote,

但我們知道做就對了

to "sneak out into the night and disappear somewhere,"

我們嚮往的生活 就像傑克．凱魯亞克所寫的

and go find out what everybody was doing

「在夜幕低垂時偷跑出去， 並在某個地方消失無蹤」

all over the country.

看看這個國家的其他人

So even though there were other voices who said

都在做些什麼

that the risk was too great and the proof too thin,

所以即便有人認為

we went on anyhow.

風險太高憑據單薄

We went on 8,000 miles across America in the summer of 2013,

我們還是上路了

through the cow pastures of Montana, through the desolation of Detroit,

我們在 2013 年的夏天 跨越了美國 8000 哩

through the swamps of New Orleans,

經過了蒙大拿的牧場 經過了底特律的荒野

where we found and worked with men and women

經過了紐奧良的沼澤

who were building small businesses

我們在那和人們相遇、共事

that made purpose their bottom line.

他們經營小事業

And having been trained at the West Point of capitalism,

並將心中的理想置於首位

this struck us as a revolutionary idea.

對哈佛商學院的我們來說

(Laughter)

這真是革命性的想法

And this idea spread,

（笑聲）

growing into a nonprofit called MBAs Across America,

而這個理念最終

a movement that landed me here on this stage today.

成長為一個叫《橫跨美國的 MBA》 的非營利組織

It spread because we found a great hunger in our generation

這也是我今天上台的動機

for purpose, for meaning.

它因這個世代的渴望而散播

It spread because we found countless entrepreneurs

對目標、意義的渴望

in the nooks and crannies of America

它為了在美國角落和夾縫中 的企業家而散播

who were creating jobs and changing lives

這些企業家創造了 工作和改變生活的機會

and who needed a little help.

而他們需要一些幫助

But if I'm being honest, it also spread

但說實話

because I fought to spread it.

它也因為我的奮鬥而散播

There was no length to which I would not go

為了傳這個福音

to preach this gospel,

沒有什麼我不會做的

to get more people to believe

只為了讓更多人相信

that we could bind the wounds of a broken country,

我們可以用一個個社會企業

one social business at a time.

來包紮受傷的國家

But it was this journey of evangelism

也是這個福音的旅程

that led me to the rather different gospel

帶給我另一個不同的福音

that I've come to share with you today.

也就是我今天要跟各位分享的故事

It began one evening almost a year ago

大概是一年前的某個傍晚

at the Museum of Natural History in New York City,

在紐約的自然史博物館

at a gala for alumni of Harvard Business School.

哈佛商學院的校友聚會

Under a full-size replica of a whale,

在真實比例的鯨魚複製品下

I sat with the titans of our time

我坐在我們這一代的巨人旁

as they celebrated their peers and their good deeds.

他們慶祝他們的優秀事蹟

There was pride in a room

整個空間充滿自豪之感

where net worth and assets under management

他們的淨值和資產

surpassed half a trillion dollars.

就超過了 5000 億美元

We looked over all that we had made,

我們細數所贏得的一切

and it was good.

感覺很好

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

But it just so happened,

但是

two days later,

兩天之後

I had to travel up the road to Harlem,

我旅行到了紐約哈林區

where I found myself sitting in an urban farm

我坐在現代的農場