-Shut up!

-(TV) We can't keep cheating death.

The fact that we're in this fireworks and bomb factory--

-This is so dumb.

I hope nobody actually believes

that they can get some sort of premonition

and somehow use it to avoid your own death.

-Of course not, man. It's just the movie.

Can you imagine how stupid it'd be

if movies were actually realistic?

-Ah, die, you aliens!

[gunshots firing, yelling]

Huh.

[zap!]

-Oh, my God, the monster's destroying the city!

Whoa! Whoa!

[making weird noises]

-No, I am your father.

-No... it's not true.

It's impossible.

-The results are in.

You are the father.

-Oh, f--k you, you ... piece of s--t!

-Oh, hell no!

-Once this baby hits 88 miles an hour,

we will travel through time.

-Oh... you better hurry up, Doc.

There's a building up ahead.

-86 miles an hour.

88 miles an-- [crash!]

[monkeys screeching]

-This planet sucks.

-[sighs]

-Elliott.

-[shrieks, gunshot]

[sighs in relief] I thought you were a black midget.

-Oh, hell no!

-So glad I took the blue pill.

-You wanna know how I got these scars?

-Uh... acne?

-How did you know?

[calm music playing]

-Wait. You're poor? Ew!

-What are you-- wha- waahh!!

[splash!]

-Oh, hell no!

-Yeah, I guess that would be pretty stupid if it was realistic.

-Yup, like always.

-Oh crap, I'm gonna be late for my date.

-Lunch with your mom's friend does not count as a date.

-[whining]: Yes it does!

Hey, Mom. Yeah, yeah, I'll be right there.

Now you're sure Mildred will be there, right?

[truck horn honks, crash!]

[gasps, heart beating]

-Lunch with your mom's friend does not count as a date.

-[thinking]: I have to find a way to cheat death.

Oh, I know.

Hey Anthony, I dropped a quarter in the street

if you want it.

-F--k yeah!

[laughs]

Are you sure? I don't see anything out here.

-Are you sure there aren't any, like, firetrucks or any--

[truck horn honks, crash!]

-To see bloopers and a deleted scene from Avatar

and Predator,

click the link in the description below!

Thanks for subscribing,

especially if you're a black midget!

-Oh, hell no! [Captioned by SpongeSebastian]