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>> Professor, do you have a minute?
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>> Sure thing, what can I do for you?
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>> I wanted to talk to you about my grade.
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I don't understand why you gave me an F.
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>> That would probably be because you earned an F.
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>> What do you mean?
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>> What is your name again?
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>> It's Sandy.
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You really don't know my name after four months of class?
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>> Well, you haven't exactly been in class for four months,
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and you were sleeping or sending text messages when you were here.
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I have just thought of you as the girl who doesn't care.
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>> But why did I fail the course?
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[MUSIC].
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>> Because you literally managed to fail
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every single aspect of this ridiculously simplified course.
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>> What does that mean?
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What did I fail?
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>> Everything.
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You failed the first exam and never even took the second test.
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>> I was sick.
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>> When?
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>> When I missed the test.
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>> That was two months ago.
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>> Can I make it up?
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>> Not anymore.
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You also failed the third test and never handed
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in your final research paper worth 30% of your grade.
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>> I didn't know that was due.
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Did you announce it in class?
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>> Yes, about ten times.
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You were probably not here because you hate school
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and may be the worst student I have ever seen.
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>> But I was sick.
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>> I know the feeling.
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Hey, do you have a safety pin?
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>> No, why?
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>> Because I would like to stab myself until I pass
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out from blood loss so I don't have to continue this conversation.
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>> Whatever.
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Can I do extra credit?
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>> No.
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I already turned in final grades.
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Why didn't you ask me about extra credit
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at some point during the last three months?
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>> My grandmother died.
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>> I'm sorry to hear that.
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>> So, can I do extra credit?
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>> No.
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>> I can bring you the obituary.
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>> I don't want to see your grandmother's obituary.
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I want to go home because I've been reading research papers for 27 hours.
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>> But my boyfriend and I broke up.
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>> What does that have to do with it?
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>> I dumped him because he was cheating on me with my best friend.
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The only person I could talk to about
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these things was my grandfather and now he's dead.
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>> I thought you said your grandmother died.
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>> They both died in the same accident.
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They were driving to see me because I was sad about cheating on my boyfriend.
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>> I thought your boyfriend cheated on you.
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>> He did.
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So, can I do extra credit?
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>> Even if you could invent a time machine
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and travel back in time to personally interview Abraham Lincoln,
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and I gave you 100 points of extra credit,
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you would still only have a D for the course.
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>> Okay, who is Abraham Lincoln?
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>> Why are you here?
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>> If I don't get a C in this course, I will
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lose my financial aid and I will have to drop out of school.
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It's terrible.
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>> Why didn't you care about that before?
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This is the first time you have ever spoken to me.
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>> I was sick.
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>> Okay, this conversation is over.
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>> Are you calling me a liar?
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>> I'm not calling you anything except a failure in this class.
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Although, now that I think of it, you will probably fail in life as well.
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>> How could you say that?
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>> Because you scored 33 out of 200 total points and
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you get 20 points for just having your name on the roster.
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>> What if I do the research now?
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>> No.
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>> But can I?
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>> No.
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>> But.
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Why are you being so mean?
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>> Why won't you go away?
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>> Because you won't help me.
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>> I would have helped you two months ago while you were cheating on
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your boyfriend and killing your grandparents, but
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right now I just want to go home.
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>> I'm going to appeal to the dean.
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>> You could appeal to the Lord Almighty, but
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no one could save your grade in this course.
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>> This is the worst ever.
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I'm going to tell my boyfriend.
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>> Great.
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You will probably find him at your best friend's apartment.
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>> Good day to you, Candy.
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>> My name's Sandy.
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>> I said good day.
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[MUSIC]
