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  • If only I had known!

  • Hey everyone, Dana here!

  • Mr. German Man and I have been together for almost 9 years now, so we have had plenty

  • of time to get to know each other and figure things out.

  • But looking back on it, there were definitely a few things that I feel like it just would

  • have just been nice to know about the German culture and kind of Germans in general before

  • we started dating.

  • Now, of course everyone is different and unique, but these are just some things that looking

  • back on it I feel like...it would have been helpful for me and Mr. German Man to know. Yeah.

  • First of all, oh how much I wish I had known that Germans can often be quite direct.

  • As an American, I am used to beating around the bush about things, softening the blow

  • before giving a critique.

  • I was honestly taught in school that before giving someone a critique of their work you

  • should find at least one or two positive bits of feedback to give first.

  • So for example if I was supposed to critique someone's book report in school, first I

  • should say "well, I really liked how much effort you put into the plot description,

  • and the picture on the front of your report that you drew is really beautiful.

  • But one critique would be...I don't know, maybe, you completely forgot to mention the

  • main character of the book." Or something. It doesn't matter.

  • The point is that I was really taught to first write down, you know, and say a few positive

  • things and then I could give my critique.

  • Yeah, apparently they did not teach that technique at Mr. German Man's school.

  • He can often be quite direct and to the point.

  • For example, maybe I show him a video that I made and he'll watch it and then, you know,

  • afterwards I'm waiting for his response.

  • And sometimes if he notices that something

  • is off about the video he'll just say that thing first, you know?

  • He'll just be like: the color's off.

  • Without buffering that with one or two good comments, like what I learned in school.

  • Or maybe he will say, like: Nice. The color's off.

  • And that nice at the beginning is his way of trying to be less direct.

  • Like, buff the critique, he'll be like, nice.

  • But, yeah, that's still different than what I learned in school.

  • So I wish I had just known about this whole being more direct thing from the beginning

  • because then I would have understood it more.

  • I also wish that I had known that generally speaking many Germans just don't seem to

  • show their excitement as boldly as, again generally speaking, many Americans do.

  • If Mr. German Man comes home with exciting news and he tells me about it, I will probably

  • make a big face to show my emotion very clearly, as though I'm on stage performing in a play.

  • And I'll oooh and I'll aaahh all dramatically to convey my excitement.

  • Whereas if I come home and tell Mr. German Man equally exciting news, he'll probably

  • just be like: oh wow, that's great.

  • After a while of thinking that maybe he's just not so excited, I finally figured out

  • he is excited, he just doesn't show it in the same way as me. And that's okay!

  • I just feel like it would have been helpful to know at the beginning.

  • Also, going along with this, I wish that I had known that when a German says something

  • is good, that basically often means the same as when an American says something is great.

  • So Americans often scale up their adjectives.

  • For example, if I eat some tasty ice cream, it's amazing.

  • For Mr. German Man it's nice.

  • And at first I thought that he was just kind of hard to impress or maybe apathetic about things,

  • but, yeah, then I finally learned that he also thinks the ice cream is delicious, the

  • same delicious as me.

  • But he often reserves words like amazing for things that are, well, a little more impressive.

  • Whereas I would just add more facial expressions and a few verys to the beginning.

  • So for me a tasty ice cream is amazing.

  • But the best ice cream ever is: Oh my God, this is the best ice cream ever!

  • It's super, super, super amazing.

  • I just keep getting bigger with my adjectives.

  • And lastly, I also would have loved to know that Germany, as a whole, is pretty into insurance.

  • Then I would have much better understood why my German boyfriend seemed so excited about

  • insurance and so interested in talking about insurance.

  • Like for me insurance is a necessary thing in life, but it's definitely not something

  • that I am excited about or I want to talk about.

  • Insurance is something that I get done with as quickly as possible and that I talk about

  • in my life for as short a time span as possible.

  • But this does not seem to be the case for Mr. German Man, and, apparently, also not

  • the case for some other Germans because I have watched Mr. German Man and his friends

  • have entire Friday evening conversations about insurance.

  • The only kinda fun part of the evening was getting to watch all their minds simultaneously

  • explode when I told them that none of the insurances that they were talking about and

  • comparing and contrasting even existed in the U.S. Or if they did, nobody that I knew had

  • ever purchased one of them.

  • They were just like: What?

  • They don't exist in America? But...but...but...

  • So my question for you is: What is your take on these things?

  • And what's been your experience with this in your own life?

  • Please let me know in the comments below. Thanks so much for watching.

  • I really hope that you enjoyed this video.

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  • the description box below.

  • Until next time, auf Wiedersehen!

  • We mean the same thing.

  • But he starts at okay, whereas I start at great.

  • So by the time he gets to good, I'm at wonderful.

  • And when he gets to great, I'm at amazing.

  • When he's at amazing, I'm at super duper amazing.

  • If in school I was supposed to critique someone's book reporrrt...port...book report.

  • So here they are.

  • Some of the things that I wish I had known about Germans before I started...Mr. German Man.

If only I had known!

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