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  • Monogamy, or being in a relationship with one person, is actually very uncommon among mammals.

  • With only about 3% displaying monogamous bonding.

  • So what's the deal with humans?

  • Is it really better to be with one person for your entire life?

  • Historically humans did not practice monogamy.

  • The anthropological record indicates that tens of thousands of years ago

  • approximately 85% of human societies were composed of men with more than one partner

  • The reason why most of the world has shifted to socially imposed monogamy is debated among scientists,

  • but a leading hypothesis is to minimize the risk of sexually transmitted infection.

  • As human societies transitioned from small hunter gatherer societies

  • to larger densely populated agricultural societies,

  • models show the shift in lifestyle would allow STI's to proliferate causing death and infertility.

  • But, while monogamy may have evolved to prevent STI's, what about now?

  • Many maintain they are in a monogamous relationship, but are actually committing infidelity.

  • Estimates of cheating among married Americans range from 21%-57% among men,

  • and 11%-35% among women.

  • In fact, a study of college students in exclusive relationships

  • found that 1 in 5 admit to using tinder on the side,

  • and those who identify as monogamous are less likely to practice safer sex including condom use and STI testing.

  • As they fear introducing these practices into a relationship may create suspicion.

  • However, those in consensual non-monogamous relationships are more likely to use condoms for both vaginal and anal intercourse,

  • be screened regularly for STI's, and discuss external sexual encounters with their primary partner.

  • So, now it seems those in consensually non-monogamous relationships may be at a lower risk for STI's than monogamous.

  • A study using 1,500 individuals in monogamous partnerships

  • and 617 individuals in consensual non-monogamous relationships

  • found no significant differences on relationship function, overall satisfaction, commitment, and passionate love.

  • In fact, jealously was lower and trust was higher in individuals who were not monogamous.

  • Skeptical of these results?

  • You're not alone.

  • A study had participants read a brief description of hypothetical research results

  • which read: In general polyamorous couples had more positive outcomes than monogamous couples.

  • Participants would rate this statement as unfairly biased.

  • Where as if the exact same statement was switched to favor monogamous relationships

  • it would be rated as less biased.

  • These results help show how we're primed to think that monogamous relationships

  • are more loving, committed, and satisfying.

  • While consensual non-monogamous relationships like swinging, polyamory, and open relationships are often viewed negatively.

  • This doesn't mean that you and your boo should just open things up though.

  • Monogamy may work great for some, but not others.

  • One study found that men and women who wanted to engage in casual sex

  • were more likely to have higher levels of testosterone,

  • but this group may still be in the minority.

  • In a self- reported study of ideal mating arrangements

  • it was found that both men and women overwhelmingly prefer strictly monogamous mating arrangements when asked to choose

  • So, whether you prefer to keep your relationship to one person or to multiple

  • research is finding there are many ways to have a committed, satisfying, and loving relationship,

  • and monogamy is not the sole gold standard.

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Monogamy, or being in a relationship with one person, is actually very uncommon among mammals.

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