(melodic music)

(旋律優美的音樂)

(birds chirping)

(鳥鳴啁啾)

(yawning)

(哈欠聲)

(bird chirping)

(鳥鳴啁啾)

- Oh, birds.

- 噢，小鳥

♫ At sunset, I wandered through the village

♫ 黃昏時分，我在村子裡漫步

♫ Glowing in the twilight and so quiet

♫ 村子在黎明微光下十分安靜

♫ Well it's quiet 'cause most people

♫ 之所以安靜是因為很多人

♫ Died of a plague

♫ 死於瘟疫

♫ Caused by jealous witches

♫ 這都是嫉妒女巫所造成的

♫ I wandered through the village and I think

♫ 我漫步過村子，然後我想起

♫ That my life is missing something dear

♫ 我的生活少了點美好

♫ As I stop to rest

♫ 當我停下來休息

♫ And cough up blood I wonder

♫ 然後咳出血時，我在想

(coughs)

(咳嗽)

♫ When will I find my prince

♫ 我何時會遇到我的王子

(sighs)

(嘆氣)

♫ I wandered through the village and I noticed

♫ 我漫步過村子，然後我注意到

♫ That everyone but me has found a love

♫ 除了我，每個人都已尋得愛情

♫ There goes the blacksmith with his daughter wife

♫ 這是鐵匠和他的女兒妻子

♫ 10 years old and pregnant with her brother's son

♫ 她十歲大，懷了她兄弟的兒子

(man laughing)

(男人大笑)

♫ I wandered through the village sighing deeply

♫ 我漫步過村子，深深嘆口氣

♫ Seeking guidance from the statue in the square

♫ 試圖從廣場的雕像尋求指引

♫ It's a statue of Christ

♫ 那是基督的雕像

♫ Adorned with thief hands

♫ 身上掛滿了小偷的手

♫ Oh when will I find my prince

♫ 噢，我何時會找到我的王子

Oh look, everyone.

大家看呀

It's my friends from the forest, the Jews.

是我來自森林裡的猶太朋友們

Hello, Jews.

你們好，猶太人

You know, I never did ask you.

仔細想想我從來沒問過你們

Why do you live in the forest?

為什麼你們住在森林裡？

(high-pitched chattering)

(高音嘈雜聲)

Oh I see, to hide from people trying to kill you.

噢我知道了，是為了躲避想要殺死你們的人

Well that's very resourceful my picky little friends.

這真是一個非常聰明的策略啊，我挑剔的小小朋友們

Tell me, have you ever had a dream

告訴我，你們曾經有過

that you thought wouldn't come true?

覺得不會成真的夢嗎？

(high-pitched chattering)

(高音嘈雜聲)

Oh I see.

我懂了

You dream is that they won't want to kill you.

你們的夢就是不會有人想殺死你們

Well that's definitely a dream that won't come true.

嗯那的確是癡心妄想

Oh well goodbye, goodbye.

好吧，掰掰啦

Jews.

猶太人

(dramatic music)

(戲劇性音樂)

♫ Oh if I found my prince

♫ 但願我能找到我的王子

♫ We'd have a wedding elegant and rare

♫ 我們會有一場絕無僅有的優雅婚禮

♫ We'd dine on kidney cream and horse vagina

♫ 還會一起吃腎泥和馬陰道

♫ Drink champagne and torture a bear

♫ 喝著香檳，虐待一隻熊

♫ Oh if I found my prince

♫ 如果我找到了我的王子

♫ The castle would be filled with love and laughter

♫ 城堡裡就會充滿愛和笑聲

♫ And he'd fill me with his seed

♫ 而且他還會硬上我

♫ Forcibly and rough

♫ 強硬又粗暴

♫ I'd give birth to a son

♫ 我會生下一名兒子

♫ And then die right after

♫ 生完馬上翹辮子

♫ I wandered through the village seeking answers

♫ 我漫步過村子，試圖尋找解答

♫ But love hasn't given me a glimpse

♫ 但是愛情尚未臨及我

♫ It isn't in this shop or in this cart of baby corpses

♫ 愛情不在這間店，也不在這滿車的嬰兒屍體

♫ Oh when will I find my prince

♫ 我何時會找到我的王子

When, Hand Jesus?

耶穌手，什麼時候呢？

♫ Oh when will I find my prince

♫ 我何時會找到我的王子

(metallic chiming)

(金屬閃爍聲)

Oh it's my prince.

看啊，是我的王子！

- Hello.

- 你好

(girl coughs)

(女生咳嗽)

- Oh (beep).

- 噢該死 (消音)

(melodic music)

(旋律優美的音樂)

(guitar riff)

(吉他即興重複段)

- Hey there, thank you for supporting Cracked.

- 你們好，謝謝你對 Cracked 的支持

If you'd like to subscribe, you can do that at any time.

如果你願意訂閱，隨時歡迎

I know that you're a big fan of Soren-erotica

我知道你們很喜歡 Soren 黃色笑話

which I've done before and unfortunately I'm out,

我之前參與過，不幸地我現在退出了

but I thought maybe I could just come up

但我想在忙碌之餘

with some on the fly.

我或許能夠想出一些

Parker took off his pants

Parker 脫了他的褲子

and the girl that was with him was like,

和他一塊的女孩看到就說

yeah, that's a dick,

「是誒，是老二。」

and he was like, I know.

他就說，「對啊我知道。」

And then they were gonna have sex

然後他們要做愛

and he was like, but I'm also, I'm a horse,

但他說，「不過我也是一匹馬。」

no he's not a horse.

不對，他不是馬

That's bad.

那太糟了

He's a, he's a human.

他是個人類

He's, but he's like a human that can like

他是人類，不過是那種擁有

he has like wolf-like powers,

狼一般能力的人

like the kid from Abandon, Abducted.

就像是《劫持》裡面那個小孩