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  • (man) Hi there, girl, can I Squirtle on your Jigglypuff?

  • (Ian) Shut up!

  • I can't wait to discover new Pokémon.

  • I just better make sure I don't walk in front of anyone while--

  • Damn it, I am not fighting anyone!

  • Oh, no, no, I wanted to give you a cool new move

  • that you could teach to your Pokémon.

  • It's called "fly."

  • You just teach it to any flying Pokémon

  • and you can ride it to any destination.

  • So you're telling me if I taught this to a tiny little

  • bird Pokémon, I could fly on its back or something?

  • Anything's possible with Pokémon.

  • (muttering) You freakin' jackass.

  • 'Kay, now I can finally start my quest...

  • What the hell?

  • Wild MANKEY appeared!

  • Oh sweet, a wild Pokémon!

  • Mankey, extremely quick to anger.

  • You mean "Monkey"?

  • Mankey.

  • No, that's definitely a monkey.

  • - Mankey. - Whatever!

  • - You're going down, Monkey! - Mankey.

  • Go, Pikachu!

  • Pikachu.

  • All right, Pikachu! Use quick attack!

  • - Pika! - (Mankey chattering)

  • PIKACHU used QUICK ATTACK.

  • Critical hit!

  • - All right, Monkey... - Mankey.

  • Shut the f--k up!

  • All right, you're mine!

  • Damn it! But I'll get you this time!

  • 20 Minutes Later

  • I'm bound to catch you sometime.

  • Wild MANKEY became bored.

  • Whatever, I didn't want you anyway.

  • That monkey may have tested my resolve,

  • but I'm not gonna let that discourage me from--

  • - Better not be another freakin' monkey! - Mankey.

  • Wild CHARIZARD appeared!

  • Whoa! We're not gonna let this one get away.

  • Quick, Pikachu, use AK-47 attack!

  • Pika?

  • (gun cocks)

  • Pika...chu!!!

  • (automatic gunfire, Charizard groaning)

  • It's super effective!

  • All right, I've got you this time, Charizard!

  • ♪ (suspenseful music) ♪

  • Booya! CHARIZARD was caught!

  • Yeah!

  • Hey, you douchebag! I want a rematch!

  • Oh God, all right, Charizard, come out now!

  • (roars)

  • All right, Charizard, get us the hell out of here!

  • Use fly!

  • CHARIZARD cannot learn FLY.

  • But he has wings;

  • it's not like I'm trying to teach it to a freakin' monkey.

  • - Mankey. - (wings fluttering)

  • Whoo! Pidgey, f--k yeah! (laughs)

  • (Ian) To see bloopers from this video and more,

  • click the link in the description below!

  • Quick! Use subscribe attack by clicking the yellow button!

  • ♪ (light cheerful tune) ♪

  • If this music is giving you a nostalgia-boner

  • that lasts longer than four hours,

  • contact your physician immediately.

  • It's bad. Happened to me once.

(man) Hi there, girl, can I Squirtle on your Jigglypuff?

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