Nowapparently, you'resupposedtodothismorethanonce a year.
Yeah, I don't know.
Like I'm prettybusydoingotherthings, likehidingin a bushinFortniteandcomplainingaboutmyacne.
And a goodmake-upbrushcostslike $50, likeam I right.
I knowallthemakeupgurusaregonnabelike $50?
That's a steal!
Butno, forme, fiftydollarsfor a goodmake-upbrush.
Fiftydollarsfor a brush, likeisitLaurel, isitYanny, no, it's neither, it's a scam.
You'retellingme, I'mabuythisexpensivebrush, andthen I havetogroomandbathesaidbrush?
Forthatprice, thebrushshouldbegivingme a shower.
Justlikeyo, notonlywillyoudomyblush, okay, yougonnadomyblush, shavemylegs, andthenmakeme a hotcupofgingertea.
Nottomention, I don't evenknowhowtoproperlyclean a make-upbrushwithoutruiningit's bristles,
Likeitstartslikethisand I washitandit's like...
Likecan't I justrubitagainst a tic-tacandcallit a day?
Or, do I nowgottabuy a brushcleaner, forthefiftydollarbrush, it's madness I tellyou!
Soyeah, forsuremymake-upbrushes, arefugly.
Everyday, hundredsofmake-upbrushesareleftdirty.
Sweat.
Foundation.
Blush.
Infestedwithgerms.
Neglected.
Used.
Andabused.
It's beenninemonthssince I'vebeenwashed.
I usedtobepink!
Whatthe f man, whydo I keepbreakingout?
Numbertwo, wearingsunscreen.
Yousee, I haveanissuehere, okay,
I can't acceptthefactthat I spentmostofmychildhood, singing a songtoMr. Sun, Mr. GoldenSun, andnowas I'vegrownup, youhavetheaudacitytosaythatyou'regonnaburnmyskin?
And I needprotectionfromyou?
Nah-uh, okay, I havedecidedtounstan.
Becausehere's thethingaboutsunscreen, right, it's annoying, andit's a especiallyannoyingifyouhavebrownskin.
Honestlysomeofthebestdaysarewhen I wonsolitaire, youknowwhat I'm talkingabout?
Thosecardswiththelittlescreenlike (whirring).
Youknow, honestlythatwaslit.
Numberfour, washingmyface.
Okay, I promise, I'm goingtowashmymake-upbefore I sleep.
I promise, I'm gonnawashmymake-upbefore I sleep!
I promise, I'm gonnawashmake-upsleep.
I promise.
I amforsuregoingtowashmymake-upbefore I sleep.
Damnit.
I justthinkit's unrealistic, fortheuniversetothinkthat I'm gonnagothrough a day, potentiallyfilledwithnonsenseandtomfoolery, andthencomehomewithenoughcapacityandenergytowashmyface.
That's insanity!
Myporesneedtotakeseveralseats.
Rather, evolutionjustneedstosmartenupandfind a waytoexpelmymake-upfrommyface.
After a longday, like I justcomehome, andmymake-upjust...fireballs (whooshing) justoffmyface, justandjustfake-lashfireball.