What? What's going on? Today, I'm going to teach you some words that you will say in

English. They are definitely English words. You will use the words correctly in a beautiful,

grammatically correct sentence, but they make me go, "What? That's weird. That's weird.

"You speak like a grandmother or a grandfather." This lesson is called "Olde School" or -- uh-oh!

"Too formal! What are you doing?" So one of the goals that I've always had since I started

teaching ESL, or teaching English, is that textbook English and the way that a lot of

people teach you how to speak... it's not "cool". You sound like you are reading a textbook.

One of my goals in life is to make everyone that I teach sound natural, normal, and not

like an old person even if you are an old person. That's cool. I want you to learn words

that I and other normal -- normal? Not normal -- and natural English speakers would use.

So "Olde School". "Ronnie, you've spelled "old" school wrong." Guess what? A long time

ago, this is how they spelled "old", but they didn't say "oldie", they said "old". "Olde school"

"Olde school" means it's old. So let's look at the first one: "Telephone".

We never, ever, ever, ever, ever say "telephone"; we say "phone" or "mobile" or "cell". "Telephone"

is really, really, really old. Do you remember the really old telephones that you had to

dial -- you stick your finger and you go [makes clicking sounds]? And if you made a mistake,

you had to start again. I remember being a little Ronnie, and I had to dial my best friend's

number, and it had three nines in it. [Shudders] "I made a mistake." So "telephone" -- old.

Now we have these wonderful cell phones. You press a button, and your friend is right there

-- "Hi", okay? Don't use the word "telephone"; it's strange.

The other one is: "Television". Do you have a television? I don't. I hate television.

So much so that I don't even call it that; I call it a TV. Please call it a "TV", not

a "television". "Television" is old, very old.

This word: "refrigerator" -- "Ronnie, there's a space here." Yeah. Ronnie has trouble spelling.

And the reason why I have trouble spelling this word is we never, ever, ever say this

word: "refrigerator". I'm tired by the time I get to this space here, so instead of saying

"refrigerator", do you know what we say? "I'm hungry. I'm going to go to the fridge." and

get a Coke or a drink. So normally, we shorten this, and we call it a "fridge", "fridge".

"Automobile", "auto". If you speak any of the Latin languages, you can understand "auto"

means "self"; "mobile" means "move". "Look at me. I'm going in my self-move to the -- to

the mall. Would you like a drive?" "No. I'll take the bus, thank you." So "automobile"

and "auto", we do not use. We call it one of these [makes car noise] a "car". I have

seen a textbook -- one or two in my day -- and it actually says "automobile". So I looked

at the date: "Published 2010." Really? You put "automobile" in a textbook? Give your

head a shake. The next one is a modal verb. If you do not

know what a modal verb is, go look in a grammar book. "Shall" is a modal verb. However, we

never use this. The only time you will see this modal verb used is if you are reading

rules of something. If you go to a public swimming pool, or if you go on the subway,

all of the rules are written with this word. "You shall not spit in the pool. You shall

not -- in the pool." Okay, I'm not going to do that. "You shall not run around the pool

because you're going to die." "Shall" -- we always use "will" or negative "won't". This

has... replaced our modal verb "shall". Please don't say this; it's weird. "You shall give

me a dollar." What? "You will give me a dollar." "You're going to give me a dollar." Everyone

give me a dollar. The next one is an expression: "What a pity"

or "What a shame!" Now, if you were -- let's see -- maybe a 70-year-old grandmother or

grandfather living in England, you would say this all the time. My grandmother -- God rest

her soul -- would say this, "What a pity. What a shame." She's from Scotland. She says

this all the time, "What a pity. What a shame." We go, "That sucks." Okay? If something is

bad, you can -- you can say that. You can say, "Wow. That sucks." or "That blows." Don't

say this. You can even say, "That's bad." "What a pity" or "What a shame" -- it's way,

way too old. Too old. Too old. Bye-bye. "Pardon me!" Pardon me; I forgot the "S".

"Pardon me" -- again, my grandmother says this all the time. Pardon me -- we say now:

"Excuse me." Why would you say this? We use this expression in a lot of situations. The

first one is if you [makes fart sound]. That was with my mouth, yeah? You're going to say,

"Excuse me." [Makes burp sound] The second -- burp. I did that again with my mouth. You're

going to say, again, "Excuse me." You can say "Pardon me" when you fart or burp, but

it's more natural to say, "Excuse me." The other thing is if you're shopping and there're

people in the way, you can say, "Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me! Move." And they will

eventually maybe move. So "excuse me" is a very, very polite way of getting someone to

move out of the way and excusing yourself if you have gas. People also use it to get

your attention. Today, I was buying chicken -- I love chicken -- and I put all my groceries

-- that means food -- into a bag, and I went away. And I was organizing my bag. And a girl

said, "Excuse me!" I was like, "What? Oh, hi." "You forgot your chicken." "Oh, my God!

I forgot my chicken! I love chicken." So she was nice enough to tell me and not steal my

chicken. Thank you to the lady at the supermarket today that did not steal my chicken. I love you.

Were you a vegetarian? I would have taken that, for sure.

The next set of words are words that are too formal, okay? Again, when you say them, you're

correct. I hear people say, "I entered the building." Are you Elvis Presley? Okay? You

are not, like, "[makes trumpet sound] Bobby is now entering the building!" "Bobby! Yeah!

Bobby! Yeah! Come on in, Bobby! Sit down! Shut up." No. You're just going to say, "Hey.

I went in." " I went in the classroom." " I went in the mall." " I went in the car." Okay?

Please don't say, "entered". Strange. The opposite of this is when you're leaving

-- sayonara -- "Exited". Now these are past tense for a good reason. You're just going

to say "left". Not this hand. It's the same spelling, but "I left". "Yesterday, I left

work." You're not going to say, "I exited work at 5 p.m. yesterday." Hello. Learn some

cool words. "Departed". So departed is this: you are going

on an airplane, and it's your first trip anywhere in the world, and all of your parents and

all of your friends are saying "Goodbye! Have a -- Bon voyage! You're departing. Bye!" Not

going to happen. You're just going to say, "I left." "Yesterday, I left the bar because

I was too drunk to figure out what I was doing." So these two words -- bye-bye. Take them out.

"Left". Easy. This word: "received" [makes panting sound].

"I received mail." Hmm. If you ever watch movies, or if you have an email account,

it says, very famously, "You've got mail. You've got mail." It doesn't say, "You've received

mail. You've received mail." Instead of saying "received", say "got". People are going to

say: "I received a beer from the bartender." Guess what? You didn't. You got a beer, okay?

Next word. I hear a lot of people use this when they talk about playing sports. So people

say, "I participated in a football game yesterday." What did you do? Were you, like, the cheerleader

going, like, "Yeah! Come on, team!" No. You're going to say, "I played football yesterday."

You're not participating in it; you're playing it.

The next one is "joined". I hear a lot of people say, "I joined the restaurant yesterday."

You joined the restaurant? Okay. Or "I joined the nightclub yesterday." Did you join it?

Is there a membership fee? "Join" we only use if you have to pay a membership fee, and

you're going to join something for a month. So you can join EngVid. That's free. Please

join. Instead of saying "joined" for casual things that you do, you're going to say

"went to". So you're going to say, "I went to the restaurant." "I went to a party." I hear a

lot of people say, I joined the party. Did you? Were you, like, just, "Use your membership

card. Come on in. Have a beer." No. "I went to the party." Two more, then we're done.

Olde school! "Located". "I located my marker." Did you

search for it? Did you put out an APB? Did you call the police and go, "We have a missing

marker. Please get all hands on deck, and get this marker found." No. "Found". "I found

my marker. It's right here the whole time floating in air."

Hello. Were you born -- good -- in the 1950s? Okay. If you were, maybe you remember disco

dancing the night away. Maybe you wore bell-bottoms. Maybe you like John Travolta. I like John

Travolta. "Disco" is a kind of music. ABBA -- that's all I got. John Travolta. "Disco

-- disco fever boogie." Disco is super, super, super, super old. You would never find a "disco"

in any country that speaks English. Maybe someplace in Europe you would find a "disco".

"Disco" is a type of music from the 70s. In these here parts, we go to a "nightclub" or

a "bar". Disco -- old, outdated -- don't use it. Too "olde school".

Last one: "occupation". I hear people say, "Ronnie, what is your occupation?" "I don't

know. What's my occupation?" Instead of saying "occupation", you want to ask someone, "What's

your job?" And I tell them, "I am an undercover spy, a secret agent, working for the monkeys

in the -- in the, in the, in the, in the, in the jungles of Brazil. That's it. That's

all I got. Olde school. Don't do it. Bye.

Can I have a mustache when I come back?