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  • Jordan, this is exciting.

  • What are we about to do?

  • We're about to go on the hunt for Tuscan truffles,

  • the very rare fungus that only grows

  • at certain times of the year.

  • Anything we need to know about hunting for truffles?

  • (speaking in foreign language)

  • No, we don't need to know anything before.

  • All that to hear we didn't need to know anything?

  • (audience laughing)

  • So you're sure these dogs serve a purpose?

  • They do something?

  • They go this way?

  • What is that?

  • Is that a truffle?

  • That's a truffle, right?

  • Theses dogs just found a truffle.

  • Wait.

  • What's this?

  • You found another one?

  • (speaking in foreign language)

  • Look at this.

  • They just found another one.

  • Psst, get in here. (audience chuckling)

  • I strongly suspect these guys,

  • because they knew we were coming,

  • hid these ahead of time (audience laughs)

  • because they're finding them very easily.

  • Don't you think so? I concur.

  • They keep going, "Oh, look, a-the truffle."

  • And we're barely even looking for them.

  • Can you get down like you're a truffle pig.

  • Do you mind? Sure.

  • Oink oink, oink oink. (audience laughing)

  • Get out of the way!

  • A truffle!

  • You did it.

  • Good job, Oinky. Thank you.

  • That's as legitimate as anything

  • these guys have been doing.

  • I'm sorry but we've been scammed.

  • (audience laughing)

  • What I would like to do

  • is go very deep into the woods,

  • and once we are very, very deep in the woods,

  • I would like-

  • (Jordan speaking foreign language)

  • -to kill my friend.

  • (Jordan speaking foreign language)

  • That's okay?

  • They don't mind. Fantastic.

  • I love these guys, let's go. (audience laughing)

  • Ask him where the pigs are right now.

  • Do you use pigs?

  • (speaking foreign language)

  • No, it's prohibited.

  • You can't use pigs here.

  • Tell him that I might wish to use rabbits

  • to find my truffles.

  • Why does the government care if I use a rabbit-

  • Because the rabbit doesn't have the nose for it.

  • Oh, I'm sick of the rabbit

  • being subjugated in this country.

  • I think I'm losing my mind.

  • It's very cold and very dark.

  • I don't know these guys and I'm with Jordan.

  • And they said it was okay for me to kill Jordan.

  • These dogs are finding truffles

  • that have been hidden clearly minutes before we got here.

  • This whole thing's a goddamn scam.

  • (Conan fake laughs) (audience laughing)

  • I feel that he works harder than he does.

  • Lui's always in the corner like this.

  • Oh.

  • A companion at work who does nothing.

  • You're Lui.

  • I am the truffle hunter.

  • I do all the work at The late night show.

  • You apparently do nothing.

  • You stand off to the side,

  • yet you get to share in the truffles

  • that I have dug in the earth with my hands.

  • We came hunting for truffles,

  • instead we found a nugget of truth.

  • (audience laughs)

Jordan, this is exciting.

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