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  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • [SINGING]

  • PAUL AND STORM: George R. R. Martin please

  • write and write faster.

  • You're not going to get any younger, you know.

  • Winter is coming.

  • I'm growing impatient.

  • And you still got two whole damn books left to go.

  • So write, George, write like the wind.

  • STORM: I cursed the day that my friend ever loaned me an

  • old dog-eared paperback called Game of Thrones.

  • How could I know that the seed would grow into an addiction

  • that held me right down to my bones?

  • PAUL AND STORM: Now, five books later I lurk with the

  • masses, indignant, entitled and waiting for word that the

  • Great Bearded Glacier has finally published 900 more

  • pages of crack for the nerds.

  • Why does every new verse of your song keep taking you so

  • goddamned long?

  • George R. R. Martin please write and write faster.

  • Please give us foiled letter and sigils and steel.

  • We need our allotment of incest and intrigue and

  • six-page descriptions of every last meal.

  • So write, George, write like the wind.

  • STORM: Lewis took five years to chronicle Narnia.

  • Tolkien had 12 years and Rowling took 10.

  • Lucas spent nearly three decades on Star Wars and we

  • all know how that one turned out in the end.

  • PAUL AND STORM: You're not our bitch, and you're not a

  • machine, and we don't mean to dictate how

  • you spend your days.

  • But please bear in mind in the time that you've had, William

  • Shakespeare churned out 35 friggin' plays.

  • And if you keep writing so slow, you'll

  • hold up the HBO show.

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

  • PAUL AND STORM: George R. R. Martin please write and write

  • faster 'cause we won't stop whining until we're appeased.

  • Crap out the chapters.

  • And George, while you're at it, stop killing our favorite

  • characters, please.

  • And write, George, write like the wind.

  • George R. R. Martin please write and write faster--

  • like the wind--

  • before you are dead, George, please write like the wind.

  • [SINGING ENDS]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

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