>> THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

THE ALASKA AUGUST IN LA ME AND MY MOM GOT INTO AN ELEVATOR AND

TWO WOMEN STARTED LAUGHING AT ME, PROPER BIG, AND I SAID

MADAME WHACK ARE YOU LAUGHING AT.

AND THIS WOMAN LOOKED AT ME AND SAID SUGAR, HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD

YOU YOU LOOK LIKE ELLEN.

AND YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD THIS LAUGHTER WAS BOUNCING, MY MOM

LOOKED, THEY GOT A POINT, RUSS.

YOU LACK LIKE A CHAMPLING LESBIAN.

IT GOT STRANGER.

WE GOT INTO THE HOTEL, THEY THOUGHT THAT ME AND MY MOM WERE

A COUPLE.

HE SHE PLAYED UP TO IT FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK.

OH, I'VE NEVER HAD SEX LAKE IT.

SHE CALLED ONE OF THE WAITERS I WAS A MALE PROSTITUTE THAT SHE

GOT CHEAP BECAUSE MY EYE PRTION LAZY.

IT WAS INCREDIBLE.

AND IT'S VITAL TO LAUGH, ISN'T IT, WHENEVER YOU CAN TBRAB JOY

GRAB IT BECAUSE THE WORLD IS DEPRESSING.

WE LIVE IN A WORLD FULL OF MORONS, IN ENGLAND IT IS IS

TRUE, WE NO LONGER SELL KROI SANS BECAUSE PEOPLE WENT TO THE

SUPERMARKET, COMPLAINING, THEY STARTED PUTTING JAM ON

CROISSANTS, SOME PEOPLE IN ENGLAND WERE DEFEATED BY BENZI

BREAD.

>> I'M IN THE A FAN, AY, I WAS GOING LIKE, THAT AND SUDDENLY

THERE WAS JAM ON THE TABLE, SO-- HOW CAN YOU.

>> HELP, IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN.

>> HOW DO THEY EAT BANANAS.

>> WHERE IS IT GOING?

WHERE IS IT GOING SPH ANYWAY, THAT IS WHY BREXIT HAPPENED.

YEAH.

(APPLAUSE) AND IT'S A SHAME, MAN.

WE HAVE LEFT EUROPE, SWI A MISTAKE.

YOU CAN LEARN FROM OTHER CULTURES, I WAS IN SWEDEN LAST

YEAR, DO YOU KNOW THEY EAT DEER AN REINDEER.

I SAID TO THE WAITER WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE.

HE LOOKED AT ME, ONE IS RUDOLPH, IS OTHER IS BAM BY.

YOU MUST DECIDE WITHOUT YOU LOVE MORE.

>> I LOVE TRAVELING, YOU HE KNOW, IT'S WONDERFUL, I WAS IN

HONG KONG RECENTLY, DID A GIG.

TOLD MY MOM, SHE SAID OH, IN ENG ENGLISH, PROBABLY, WE HAVE KNOWN

EACH OTHER MANY YEARS.

>> WHAT HAPPENED ON THE FLIGHT ONE OF THOSES RARE MOMENTS YOU

FEEL GLAD TO BE ARRIVE.

ON THE PLANE, I HEARD THE VOICE IN THE SKY GO WILL YOU STOP

TOUCHING YOUR WILLIE.

I TURNED AROUND, FOR A SECOND I THOUGHT IT WAS GOD.

I LOOKED AROUND, THERES WITH A MOM KEL TELLING HER FOURIER

OLSON OFF, IT WAS SO FUNNY.

WILL YOU STOP TOUCHING YOUR WILTY.

THE LITTLE KID LOOKED AT HIS MOM, OH MUMMY.

I LOVE IT IT.

IT WAS THE MOST WONDERFUL, THAT LEVEL OF WISDOM YOU CAN'T DEAL

IT WITH, IF YOU HAD ONE OF THESE, MOM, YOU WOULDN'T LEAVE

THE DAMN THING ALONE.

I MISS MY CHILDHOOD, YOU KNOW, NOT ALL OF T I DON'T MISS,

REMEMBER THE HOURS WE SPENT PLAGUE THE RECORDER, HAVE YOU

EVER NEEDED THAT.

WILL I EVER NEED THIS.

YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN-- A-- OR SOLD IT OUT.

IN THE CORNER, OH, YEAH, DO YOU KNOW MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB, YOU

KNOW I DO, BAB HEE.

BUT THAT OTHER CREEPY THINGS, THEY USED TO RUN AT YOU AT THE

PLAYGROUND, PICK A NUMBER, PUCK A COLOR, PICK A NUMBER.

>> WHAT VOO DO NONSENSE THIS IS.

>> NUMBER.

>> THREE, ONE, TWO, THREE.

>> COLOR.

>> RED.

>> R-E-D.

YOU'RE A DICK.

>> WHAT I DO SIS IS THE SILLINESS.

MY BROTHER WAS A WONDERFUL, HE WAS-- THIS IS HONESTLY TRUE,

WHENEVER HE WAS LITTLE, HAPPY, HE WOULD GET NAKED.

THAT WAS HIS THING.

I WISH HE STILL DID IT IT BUT DO YOU WANT SOME TOAST.

DO YOU WANT TO GO SWIMMING?

HE ONCE GOT NAKED IN A LIBRARY.

I DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE EVER BEEN HAPPIER TO SEA MY LITTLE BROTHER

RUNNING AROUND, MY DAD TRIED TO CHASE HIM.

IT WAS SO FUNNY BECAUSE TO QUOTE PIE DAD T IS PHYSICALLY

IMPOSSIBLE FOR A GREEN MAN TO CHASE A NAKED CHILD WITHOUT

LOOKING UNBELIEVE PLEE DODGY.

THINK ABOUT T THE ONLY WORDS YOU HAVE TO CALM STRANGERS DOWN ARE,

HE'S MINE.

WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY, AMERICA, IN THESE DARK AND

DEPRESSING TIMES, IT'S GOOD TO LAUGH AND GOOD TO BE SILLY.

WE'RE ALL DAFT SOMETIMES, I BET YOU MONEY, EVEN THE QUEEN OF

ENGLAND PULLS UP HER BED COVERS AND JUST GOES PHILIP, LOOK AT HE

ME, I'M A STAMP.

AND I LIKE TO THINK PHILIP LOOKS BACK AND JUST GOES-- THANK YOU

SO MUCH FOR HAVING ME.