Yes.

What part did you rob? The truck or the bank?

I robbed the truck.

How did you do that?

How did you know all the difference between all this stuff?

I watch movies.

Hi, what's your name?

I'm Jessie.

I'm Anthony.

Nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

My name is Celine, nice to meet you.

Wow! That's very professional.

Thank you.

I like that coat, you look very professional.

Thank you.

Okay, so what are we here to talk about?

Uh, what do you think?

Do you know why you're here?

I do.

Why are we here?

'Cause of something that you did in 2008.

Are you a bank robber?

I was a bank robber.

Yes!

You're a bank robber?

Basically a bank rob- well, kind of a bank robber.

I was addicted to drugs, and that's a whole different story.

So it made me really, really, think kinda stupid.

Why did you say a bad word?

What did I say?

Stupid.

I did?

Look, I wasn't very smart.

During the robbery, were you on drugs?

I was always on drugs.

What part did you rob? The truck or the bank?

I robbed the truck.

How did you do that?

How did you know all the difference between all the stuff?

I watch movies.

Okay, well, yes, I robbed a Brinx armored car.

Society, like, idealizes, like good heist movies like Oceans Eleven, or Thomas Crown.

Those are great movies.

I was kind of like, too fascinated in your story.

That's probably not a good thing.

What is exactly your story?

I placed an ad like I was an employer for people to show up at the bank at the same time.

And when people responded saying, "Yes, I'd like the job,"

I wrote back and I said, "Okay, show up at the bank at eleven. Make sure to wear a blue shirt, a blue hat and a safety vest."

The same outfit that I was wearing.

The day of the robbery, the armored car pulls in; the guy gets out, and he's just doing his thing, kinda walking by him, and then turns to him, pepper sprays him, takes the money and then takes off.

How do you get away with the money?

I had a landscaper or like a yard worker's outfit on with a wig and I ripped all of this stuff off and I threw it on the ground in a pile and I had a totally different outfit on.

Okay?

So what are people gonna say?

"Who robbed the bank?"

"Person wearing the orange did."

Duh da duh da duh.

You, you, you.

That's right. Was I wearing orange anymore?

[Both Children] No, you weren't.

I was last seen running towards this highway and on the other side, there's this little stream that no one really knows about and - you know what an inner tube is?

Yeah.

I went down, threw the money into the inner tube, got on my back and pulled myself upstream, went up this little hill, got in the trunk of a car, and my buddy drove off.

I went home to my wife and two-year-old, and fifteen-day old baby.

Wow.

Why did you do it when you were in such a good position?

I was desperate.

And it was like we had this house, on the outside you' be like, wow, you know, he's got everything, but I was losing everything.

How much money did you steal?

I stole four hundred thousand.

I thought you stole 9 million.

Are you not- I don't know if he's supposed to be impressed.

He's not impressed!

I'm not impressed.

You should work hard for your money, like get a job, not like steal money.

You're very right.

I shouldn't have stolen that money.

Wait, so you hide the secret?

It was a secret, yes.

Like Spiderman hiding his suit?

Except Spiderman was doing good things.

Yeah.

So obviously there was one flaw in your plan.

Yeah.

A week and a half before the robbery happened, I was doing a time run.

Time is very important, you know why time is so important when you are committing crimes? - Yeah.

Now I'm teaching you guys how to commit crimes.

Why do you think time is so important?

Is it the math times?

Oh I know, if you're like going to work and you are still sleeping in bed, the time just smacks you in the head like smack.

I have no idea what you guys are talking about.

So I did a time run to get from the bank to the creek, to the creek to the car.

Now I don't think I'm doing- in my head- I'm not doing anything wrong that day.

This homeless man is like, "Hey, I know what that stuff is."

And I blew him off, okay?

What happened is this guy called in the police, it was enough for them to basically get survelliance and follow me around.

Meanwhile, the crime happened a week later and I had gone to a gas station, thrown away a bottle, okay?

They waited until I drove off, retrieved the bottle.

Tested it for DNA.

Ding, ding, ding!

I was caught by a homeless guy.

Did you think you would get caught?

No.

Why would I do it if I did?

That's kinda how a criminal thinks.

Right?

Stupid?

Ha! You said it. That's right, yes!

Have you seen Batman?

I have.

And you know the Joker wearing masks and stuff?

He was a bank robber too.

The bad guy landed...

Bad guy? Am I a bad guy?

No, you're not. - Yes!

There, there.

Did you go to jail for it?

I went to jail.

So how long have you been in jail?

I was sentenced to six years in prison.

Prison is just like absolutely wretched place in the movies, like, you know, what was it like in real life?

Like, when you watch a TV show, there is somebody getting stabbed all the time or whatever.

No, like, that does happen but it's not violent and crazy all the time.

It's just so depressing that you can almost feel it. It's like in the air.

That's something they probably wouldn't show in a movie.

Yeah.

I remember that I used to visit my dad in prison.

And then my dad came back from prison.

And what was that day like?

It was the happiest day of my life.

I bet you it was the happiest day of your dads too.

What would have happened if you hadn't got caught?

I would have kept doing other stuff.

It would have gotten bigger and bigger and bigger.

So are you glad you got caught?

Yes. Absolutely.

Would you do it again?

No.

You know why? The main reason why?

It's not so much prison and that I got punished and all the, you know, things that happen in prison.

It was that I was away from my kids.

I cared about them, right?

Right.

And so I started drawing them pictures, and I would send them home and I knew they were little,

but they'd look at the picture probably for a second and then they'd put it away, but at least they would know that their daddy drew that picture for 'em.

And I started making books for 'em.

Like, happy birthday book.

And then I would make stories, I really got into drawing books.

Well, when I came home from prison, I just made my own books.

At first, no one bought 'em.

But then, I had one book that became a best-seller.

I got really, really lucky.

And I was able to again buy a house, so my family could all live together again.

Do you make a lot of money writing books?

I am making more money writing books than when I did when I was a criminal.

These are based after my daughters.

What are their names?

Isabella and Lila.

They're detectives in that.

And they've gotta find out who stole the cake.

Isn't that ironic?

It's very ironic.

Do you think you're a good role model for kids?

No, there's a lot to learn from people who fail.

I'm a great example of what not to do.

Yeah, I learned my lesson.

You learned your lesson? From me?

Yeah.

That's good, that means-

Never rob a bank.

You're really good at this.

I am.