Aw...

This is a good one. Oh, I found it

I am so good at this game. Already found the pan.

Here you go. I beat the game.

"Mine? But mine were black with soot!"

ARRGHHH

[Buzzer noise]

Here I am with the Witcher 3. This is the first game of the Witcher series.

Uh, here I am using my Witcher-senses to find out who burned down this guy's hut.

"Took off his boots and went in the water. Probably wanted to cover his trail".

Alfred: "Hello, sir. Have you retrieved the cure from Mr. Freeze?"

Oh my God.

It was the goose! He did it!

In this game, you play as an all-powerful bitcher in a race against time to save the entire world.

So here I am playing hide and seek with eight-year-olds.

"You and Ciri talked a bit, didn't you?"

"We did".

"Did she say where she was going?"

"She said 'turn left at Donko boulevard for one hundred miles, then turn-' "

Dodge, swing. Dodge, swing. Dodge, sw- oops, got hit.

Turn this back on.

Swing! ...and my sword broke.

...and the blacksmith took off today.

Okay, this guy's charging, uh, more money than I've earned in my 10 hours of playing this game

to fix my sword, so I'm just gonna sell everything that I've acquired so far,

and now I can barely afford it. Okay.

"Some fight for glory, justice, or gold. I fight for those I hold dear".

"I'm Geralt of Rivia, the Witcher".

"Fine, I'll get your goat".

So here I am, finding a lost goat. Oh! ...and my sword broke.

I will!

"You won't".

You don't think I will?

"You won't".

You don't think I-

Oh! OH MAH GAWD! [laughing]

"You won't".

"Hear my call and arise Dea-"

Arise!

Chicken, arise!

Arise, chicken!

[laughing]

...and my sword broke.

I am now entering Bear Village,

one of the most dangerous places in the Witcher universe

Oh, thank you, Roach. Yes, drop me right here.

right in the middle of the action-- "Turn right at bear for 100 miles,

So, navigating this place is a little tricky for beginners,

but, you know, I've beat this game hundreds of times already,

and I'm already out,

so it was quick for me.

This is better than the real game.

"...Emhyr var Emreis!"

"Bow!"

I bow to no goose.

Everybody get out of here. I've got important business to discuss.

Everybody get out of here.

"I thought you bowed before no man".

To no goose.

[bears roaring]

"Silence".

"My daughter Cirila... she's returned, and she's in danger".

"You will find her and bring her to me".

"But why me?"

[elephant and gun noises]

[monkey screeching]

[mixed animal noises]

Are you kidding me? You can't cr... You're, you're in the deepest part of the water already.

Just cross the pond, Roach.

Oh, but you can do this, though.

This just comes naturally to you.

Oh no, I'm too late. The castle's burning down!

Who could've did this?

[Geese squaking]

[Ocarina of Time Shop Music]