Ever since I was a kid, I loved Star Wars!

Han Solo...

Darth Vader...

Jabba the Hutt...

There's so many memorable characters and places.

That soaring, beautiful, symphonic score

by John Williams!

The humor!

The wit!

And the heart of the original trilogy!

George Lucas had an incredible vision

for another universe,

and he took huge risks bringing it to life.

So when you make a Star Wars game,

you have every advantage,

and we've seen some awesome games over the years!

I'm talkin' KOTOR, ooh...

I'm talkin' Jedi Academy, ooh...

Rogue Squadron, ooh...

I'm talkin' Star Wars: Kinect...

♫ Living like a Star ♫

♫ You can't stop my shine ♫

♫ I'm lovin' Cloud City ♫

♫ My head's in the sky ♫

♫ I'm solo, I'm Han Solo ♫

♫ I'm Han Solo ♫

♫ I'm Han Solo, Solo ♫

So when I heard that Dice,

these bumbling fucking buffoons,

whose last 3 games were completely broken at launch.

When I heard that these guys

got the license to Battlefront,

I lost all hope.

But goddamn...

This shit actually works!

It works good!

The matchmaking is instantaneous!

The graphics are amazing!

The sound design is incredible!

On technical level, this game is a fucking knockout!

But...

BUT...

Wait a minute...

[ clears throat ]

Hold up...

EA.

EA Games.

The laughing stock of the gaming industry.

These guys own Dice,

and they have put this game out before it was finished,

and just have this dipshit DLC model lined up.

And once you've sunken your teeth into this game,

you realize that it was rushed out as fast as possible.

There's no single player.

Instead, you have 9 online game types.

7 of these are just worthless.

The real modes,

Supremacy and Walker Assault, are fun,

but they get stale quick because the maps are so linear

and restrictive, not to mention,

there's only 4 maps,

which is just abysmal for a $60 game.

GAMER: Man, there's only 2 more things

than in the free beta they gave us!

For the amount of content at launch,

this stupid ass season pass should have be free..

FREE, EA!

I actually felt bad when I bought this game,

like I was doing something morally wrong

by giving EA money.

ANAKIN: What have I done??

But it's not just missing maps.

This game is missing those MAGIC moments that

you get from time to time with the Battlefield games.

*Wahoo!*

*LAUGHING*

Yes!

*Nice!*

Once you've played for 5 hours,

you've already experienced everything that can happen.

They also really fumbled the ways heroes work.

Playing as Darth Vader: it looks badass, you know?

This is probably the most unique thing about this game!

And I REALLY wish I could tell you what it's like...

because in my 10 hours of playing this game...

I have yet to play as a single one of the heroes.

No, actually, there was one time...

DUNKEY: YES!

Yes! Finally!

Oh my-

YES! This is awesome!

This is amazing!

VADER: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Instead of randomly doling out the heroes like the old Battlefront games,

which is the RIGHT way to do it,

you have these Power-Ups scattered through the map.

So you have the same dickweeds every match

sitting in the back, waiting for them to spawn.

And then you never get to play as the cool guys.

For a game in sincere need for variety, it's a HUGE oversight.

Star Wars: Battlefront is the most frustrating kind of game.

It's a concept with such huge potential,

and Dice has done such a good job capturing the aesthetics of Star Wars,

but they haven't innovated with the gameplay at all.

It's shallow; it's simplistic; it's repetitive.

And you gotta pay $50 to get more maps.

I mean...

Why...

I-

[ babbling ]

aaaaaaa

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[ explosion ]

I give this game a 2/5 in its current state.

♫ [I'm Han Solo from Star Wars: Kinect] ♫