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  • -Congratulations.

  • You won an Emmy since I saw you last for your special on Netflix

  • "Kid Gorgeous at Radio City."

  • -Yeah, thank you. [ Cheers and applause ]

  • -Not bad. Come on. -That's great.

  • -How exciting is that?

  • -It was so exciting.

  • -That's a big deal.

  • -It was such a -- It was so genuinely exciting.

  • -It was a great special. So funny.

  • -Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.

  • -And, you know, they're looking for a host of the Oscars.

  • And there's a -- there's a -- there's a list.

  • I saw your name on the list.

  • [ Applause ]

  • Yeah, and I go -- -Who made the list?

  • -No, it's very legit.

  • -My mom and -- [ Laughter ]

  • -Very legit online -- whatever you call those things.

  • -An online list? -An online list.

  • And it's on an online list.

  • -Oh, my gosh. That's crazy.

  • -No, yeah. Would you ever consider hosting the --

  • -I mean, yeah, but, like, you know.

  • You got to think about the ratings.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • I'd be genuinely concerned, like -- I'd walk out there.

  • And you cut to, like, Angelina Jolie.

  • She's like checking the playbill to be like, "Who is this guy?"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -I'm not sure they have a playbill.

  • -They don't have a playbill? -No, not at the Oscars.

  • -Oh, they should have a playbill.

  • They can have little ads for other shows and things.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -I want to quickly mention.

  • You're doing this event with Jerry Seinfeld tonight.

  • -Yes. -What is it again?

  • -It's a benefit, also with Mr. Steve Higgins, for the

  • David Lynch Transcendental Meditation Foundation,

  • where they teach -- yeah.

  • -Yeah, yeah, sure. [ Applause ]

  • -They do a lot of great work doing, you know, free lessons,

  • teaching meditation at schools and all around the world.

  • -How long have you known --

  • Are you friends with Jerry Seinfeld or no?

  • -Oh, I got to meet him for the first time

  • at that "SNL" 40th anniversary thing.

  • -Oh, yeah. -Because I came in.

  • And I wrote a bit that he got to do

  • where he took questions from the audience.

  • -They asked you to write a bit? -They asked me to write a bit.

  • And I said, "Who is doing the bit?"

  • And they said, "Seinfeld." I've never met him before.

  • And so I e-mailed him, and I said, you know,

  • "Here's my first draft. Please be gentle.

  • You're a very big deal to me."

  • And he wrote back, "I'm sure it's fine.

  • This is gonna be really fun...for you."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • And we had a great time doing that "SNL" 40th Q&A.

  • And I got to do

  • his "Comedians In Cars Drinking Coffee" show.

  • So, yeah, I love Jerry Seinfeld very much.

  • I looked up to him forever.

  • -He's one of the nicest guys you'll ever want to meet.

  • And gosh, is he funny.

  • -It's very cool to get to actually

  • hang around with him sometimes.

  • -He's brilliant, yeah. -Yeah.

  • -I mean, have you done other things that haven't been filmed?

  • -Yes, I actually --

  • I wanted to see Bob Dylan at the Beacon.

  • -Oh. -And I got some tickets.

  • And I just -- I was gonna go with Pete Davidson.

  • And we had an extra ticket.

  • And I asked Jerry Seinfeld, "Do you want to see Bob Dylan?"

  • Just threw it out there.

  • And he was like, "Yeah, what time?"

  • And it was great.

  • So me, Jerry, and Pete Davidson went.

  • -No way. -Yeah.

  • -I'm sorry. Does Pete Davidson have any idea who Bob Dylan is?

  • -Yes, he does. [ Laughter ]

  • -Okay.

  • -However, he said, "I do not know one of these songs."

  • -Yeah.

  • -And during "Like A Rolling Stone," I turned to him

  • and I said, "This is a very famous song."

  • And he said, "Okay." [ Laughter ]

  • -But then you also took Pete Davidson --

  • -Oh, yes.

  • I've been going on a series of concerts with Pete Davidson.

  • -I want to do this next time.

  • -I love him very much. And he's a wonderful friend.

  • -Pete, he's a nice guy.

  • -He's just great to go out with.

  • And so I go see Steely Dan, hold for applause, every year.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • And so they're at the Beacon Theatre in New York.

  • Steely Dan, all right, Steely Dan.

  • Look it up. Steely Dan.

  • -I know who Steely Dan is. Yeah, sure.

  • -Yeah, yeah, don't be so sure about it.

  • -People at home are -- -Yeah, so I go every year.

  • My roommate, my old roommate -- 'cause I'm married now.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -You call your wife your old roommate?

  • -Yes. -Oh, my gosh.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • That's the worst nickname for your wife ever.

  • "My old roommate."

  • -That's worse than Mike Pence calling his wife "mother," yeah.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Oh, old roommate.

  • -Oh, old roommate. There you are again.

  • -But my former roommate from college, Kevin and I,

  • we go to see Steely Dan every year.

  • We loved Steely Dan since we were in college.

  • And when I met my now wife,

  • I played her some of my favorite music, which was Steely Dan.

  • And she said, "What is this? I hate this."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • And I said, "Well, then listen to this song."

  • And she said, "Oh, that's interesting.

  • I hate this song very much too." [ Laughter ]

  • So, over the years, you know, Sirius satellite radio,

  • channel 32, The Bridge, Steely Dan comes on.

  • My wife always changes it.

  • -Yeah. -Hates Steely Dan.

  • I get tickets to Steely Dan.

  • Kevin and I are gonna go.

  • We've gone 12 years in a row.

  • I call Pete Davidson.

  • I say, "You want to see Steely Dan?"

  • He goes, "Yes." End of call.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Then my wife has been working really hard.

  • She's in graduate school.

  • She's been, like, working at home day and night.

  • And she said, "Are you going out tonight?

  • Because I just want to get out of the house and do something."

  • And I said, "I have good news and bad news."

  • [ Laughter ]

  • "Yes, I can take you somewhere. But it is to Steely Dan."

  • -Yeah. [ Laughter ]

  • -And she thought a moment. And she said, "Okay."

  • So me and my best friend, Kevin, and a woman

  • who has hated Steely Dan for a decade go to the Beacon Theatre.

  • And we run into Pete Davidson there.

  • Meet him in front and Pete Davidson says,

  • "Who is Steely Dan?" [ Laughter ]

  • And I said, "It's a band."

  • And he said, "It's not a comedian?"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -Oh, my gosh.

  • He thought Steely Dan was a prop comic?

  • -Well, yeah, sounds like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  • -Steely Dan. -Steven Steely Dan. Yeah.

  • So I said, "Pete, you don't know anything about them?"

  • And he said, "No."

  • And I said, "do you know anything about pop jazz fusion?"

  • [ Laughter ]

  • And he said, "No."

  • And I said, "Pete, there is no way I can prepare you

  • for what's about to happen." -Yeah.

  • -And my wife took Pete by the shoulders and said,

  • "Pete, it's gonna be awful."

  • -Yeah. [ Laughter ]

  • -And we walked in.

  • The entire audience is not young.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • There's a lot of VIPs, though, various irate people.

  • And they're sitting.

  • And you don't stand up at a Steely Dan show.

  • -No. -No.

  • So people, like, you know, they have their purse in their lap.

  • And they just kind of dance in their chair like this.

  • And this has been the protocol for decades at the Beacon.

  • -Yeah. You do not stand there.

  • -No. One woman stood up during the song "Josie."

  • We hold for applause. [ Laughter ]

  • Everyone went, "Sit down! Sit down!"

  • So she sits down. -Yeah.

  • -And then Pete Davidson says, "I can't take this."

  • And he turns to the row behind him.

  • He goes, "If I stand, will you stand?"

  • And they go, "We'll stand."

  • And then Pete goes, "All right."

  • So he stands, so the row behind us stands,

  • so the row behind them stands.

  • Then he goes, "Come on!"

  • And then by the time they were playing "My Old School,"

  • the entire Beacon is on its feet.

  • And Anna's dancing, my wife, a woman --

  • so two guys who love Steely Dan,

  • a guy that didn't know what Steely Dan was,

  • and a woman who hates Steely Dan got the Beacon on their feet.

  • It was a Christmas miracle.

  • -That's what I'm talking about. Everybody, get up!

  • Stand up! Come on! Get up for Steely Dan!

  • -For Steely Dan. -For Steely Dan!

  • -For Steely Dan. -John Mulaney, everybody.

-Congratulations.

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